Want my life back :-(

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Want my life back :-(

Postby JHH » 23 Feb 2013, 07:24

Been reading this forum for the last week, and thought it was time to say hi!
I have been suffering every day for a month, and at first I thought it was just a hem. Then after a week I saw blood on the paper. Im pretty sure I have a hem also, and from what I can tell, I might have 2 fissures. One right next to the hem, and one right in the crack behind.
BM are not that painfull, but the following hours feels like pure hell. There are severe burning, and sometimes a deep throbbing pain. I also have a constant feeling of fullness, even when it doesnt hurt. What could this be?
Been to the dr. three times, and tried I dont know what. Im on nitro, but now after a week Im not seeing much improvement. I think maybe the pain fades a bit earlier in the day. Im not sure if I have splinter spasms, cause the burning seems to come from the fissure itself, and the throbbing from the hem. What exactly does the spasm feels like?
Im scheduled for an examn next week at the hospital, and now Im also starting to fear its something serious, like cancer. My life is on hold, and Im a total mess :-(
- Fissure developed in Jan '13
- Started rectogesic in Feb '13 and diltiazem Apr '13.
- Got botox Jun '13
- Healed by Okt '13, although I still had some irritation for about a year.
- Now Feb '16, all is good. Still take magnesia, and squat precautionary.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby marg6043 » 23 Feb 2013, 07:44

JHHWe all been on that road of thinking that it could be something worst that hems or fissures until our doctors reassure us that is just a pailful fissure.
Cancer is usually a hard mass no the soft feel of a skin tag or sentinel pile, thrombosis hem can feel hard and painful too, only a proper inspection will ease your mind about what specific problem you have, I had a colonoscopy and that was all I needed to rule out anything else, plus the reassurance of my CRS that is was just a fissure.
Fissures are very painful and uncomfortable. Nitro will ease the spams but the healing take longer.
All the symptoms you are having sound like a fissure, read more about what other members have to say about their experiences and you will see that they relate to your symptoms most of the time.
Only time will heal or surgery if you can not take it any more.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby Rachael 1984 » 23 Feb 2013, 12:41

Hi JHH, I have the exact same symptoms as you. I have 2 Fissures, confirmed by CRS. Nobody can believe that they can cause as much pain as they do, until they have experienced it! Get it checked, but I am sure it will be okay.
Marg is great for advice, everybody on here can relate to the pain, and can get you through a bad day, or two!
Let us know how you get on.
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby JHH » 23 Feb 2013, 12:55

Thank you for the encouraging words.
Today the pain lasted 6-7 hours, and now Im having that feeling of having a golfball up my butt again. Not really hurting, just discomfort.
Assuming its a hem, I think it feels hard. Like it has a string inside, and goes from the edge of anus, and a few cm in. Does this sounds familiar?
Thanks again!
- Fissure developed in Jan '13
- Started rectogesic in Feb '13 and diltiazem Apr '13.
- Got botox Jun '13
- Healed by Okt '13, although I still had some irritation for about a year.
- Now Feb '16, all is good. Still take magnesia, and squat precautionary.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby marg6043 » 23 Feb 2013, 13:29

Rachael 1984thanks I hope you doing better today.
JHH I can only tell you by experience we all have our own version of how fissures feel and behave.
But for years what I thought to be external hems were actually the large skin tag that I developed from the fissures.
They get swollen and hard they hurt and feels that the bleeding comes from them.
It was not hems what I had as you know.
The sentinel pile runs from the inside to the outer age of the anal opening, that is why feels like a hem but it was not.
Only the proper inspection of a CRS can tell you if you have hems or fissure or a combination of the two.
It is very interesting that when I found out that it was not external hems what I was treating for years I felt relieved but fissures are worst 8 month ago I had no clue what a fissure even was.
The burning is from the fissure whenever it gets re opened over and over after a BM, stools are very irritating also, the burning can last for hours to no end with the spams.
Just lubricate as much as you can the area before BM and only use unesented wipes do sitz bath and put your nitro cream after.
If you have the means or insurance get a CRS dr. primary doctors only can do soo much and they are not specialists, a CRS will ease your mind and tell you exactly what is going on with your problem area.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby JHH » 25 Feb 2013, 13:27

Was going to have an anascopy today, but my sphincter acted up in the digital exam, so it didnt happen. They assumed it was a fissure, and gave me another appointment a month from now.
Now Im left with an even more sore butt, and looking forward to another month in hell :-(
- Fissure developed in Jan '13
- Started rectogesic in Feb '13 and diltiazem Apr '13.
- Got botox Jun '13
- Healed by Okt '13, although I still had some irritation for about a year.
- Now Feb '16, all is good. Still take magnesia, and squat precautionary.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby marg6043 » 25 Feb 2013, 14:20

JHH it seems that it is a fissure after all, you anal muscle is no relaxing enough, that is why they could not do the anascopy.
You will have to be under anesthesia for that now. I know you are sore, even a minor manipulation of the area will leave you worst than before.
You have a month before your next appt. they didn't give you anything for it?, that is odd.
Just do what you need to do in the meanwhile, pain killers as needed, lubricate before a BM and after and take sitz bath when it gets too irritated.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby JHH » 25 Feb 2013, 14:58

Thank you for the reply marg. I guess your right.
Actually they gave me something like the nitro, just with fewer sideeffects! But since I just started the nitro a week ago, Im going to continue the nitro for now. I dont mind the headache and dizziness, since I feel it does something down there.
- Fissure developed in Jan '13
- Started rectogesic in Feb '13 and diltiazem Apr '13.
- Got botox Jun '13
- Healed by Okt '13, although I still had some irritation for about a year.
- Now Feb '16, all is good. Still take magnesia, and squat precautionary.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby marg6043 » 25 Feb 2013, 15:57

Then you are covered until you appt. that is great, just use the cream and take from there, on you next appt. perhaps your anal muscle will be relaxed enough for further examination.
I know is painful, but is something we have to live with if we want to get better.
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Re: Want my life back :-(

Postby CrackinUp » 28 Feb 2013, 04:32

Hi JHH.
Unfortunately fissures are severe in term of pain. When I first got mine I was ready for hospitalising and an operation or worse... quite frankly I was amazed to be sent home with cream.
With regards to the symptoms, even without a hem I have the symptoms you describe. And the Nitro... don't be discouraged that after a week you are not feeling better. My first week the Nitro did nothing - whether or not that was down to my application or just the first week I have no idea.
Things really stared to calm down after two weeks and yesterday was exactly four weeks since I started using the Nitro. I have been relatively pain free for two weeks with the odd day of spasms on 'random' days, often the weekends for some strange reason (although I think its because my strict diet tends to waver a bit on weekends).
I know its disgusting but where exactly do you apply the Nitro? I found I only got relief if I apply it internally on the contracted sphincter muscle.
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