First - thanks to everyone for creating an open space where we can all share and support through the struggles of having a fissure. Mine has been a fight for about six months now and has really impacted my quality of life. As a gay man, the anus is important real estate as sex goes (I prefer to be a bottom) and not being able to enjoy has worn me out.

I am having LIS on 10/22 - CRS says although I'm healing naturally, my sphincter is very tight and it will benefit me to go ahead and adjust the tone not just to help me heal but also to a. reduce likelihood of re-tear, but also b. increase my natural ability to heal after small tears.

My post-op paperwork says no anal sex for at least two weeks. I am predicting at least 4. I wanted to take this to the boards and get some real-time feedback from those who have been in this situation. NOTE: I am in healthcare, so no need to lecture about never having anal sex again (that's not happening) or not rushing it (this I know), I'm really just looking for other folk's experiences as a framework. Thanks!

to the Forum, and glad you found us!

Have found a couple of links on here, old posts, so thst you can get some advice from others. The search (the one between FAQ and Portal above) is a great resource.

Hopefully others might come along with some advice, but in the meantime it gives you time to read what others have experienced.

Here ya go...

search.php?keywords=Sex&terms=all&author=&sc=1&sf=titleonly&sr=posts&sk=t&sd=d&st=0&ch=300&t=0&submit=Search

search.php?keywords=Gay&terms=all&author=&sc=1&sf=firstpost&sr=posts&sk=t&sd=d&st=0&ch=300&t=0&submit=Search

I appreciate the links - I've found some of those but not all, thanks again! Unfortunately I still don't have a good sense of how long I should expect to be "out of commission." Thankfully I'm pretty well on path to healing naturally (no pain with BM, not bleeding with re-open), but know this is going to take time to heal and particularly take on the friction of anal sex.

Yes, you definitely need to take your time! Sorry about all my errors in my original post. Darn iPad.

So in response to my original question - my CRS advised at my two week post-op I should be clear for resumption of anal sex in another two weeks - so about four weeks total. She also advised that any re-tear as a result would not stop the healing process and that the site should be pretty well healed after a full six weeks with proper diet and precaution with sexual activity (lubricate, taking it slow, etc). Overall - the odds of setback are a lower now due to the overall tone of the sphincter being reduced, which makes it easier to dilate the inner sphincter with stimulation.

I used anal dilation to cure my fissure, but arousal was not involved in this. Anyway, I would go with what your doctor has said. You seem to be healing well

SavaIci wrote:I used anal dilation to cure my fissure, but arousal was not involved in this. Anyway, I would go with what your doctor has said. You seem to be healing well :sunnymay i :

may i ask what anal dilation actually involves?

rufftime wrote:First - thanks to everyone for creating an open space where we can all share and support through the struggles of having a fissure. Mine has been a fight for about six months now and has really impacted my quality of life. As a gay man, the anus is important real estate as sex goes (I prefer to be a bottom) and not being able to enjoy has worn me out.

I am having LIS on 10/22 - CRS says although I'm healing naturally, my sphincter is very tight and it will benefit me to go ahead and adjust the tone not just to help me heal but also to a. reduce likelihood of re-tear, but also b. increase my natural ability to heal after small tears.

My post-op paperwork says no anal sex for at least two weeks. I am predicting at least 4. I wanted to take this to the boards and get some real-time feedback from those who have been in this situation. NOTE: I am in healthcare, so no need to lecture about never having anal sex again (that's not happening) or not rushing it (this I know), I'm really just looking for other folk's experiences as a framework. Thanks!

i know how you feel, to an extent.
i dont really have sex at all anymore, i would not even class myself as a 'bottom', but the pain from my bum seems to work its way round to my penis so i get very little sexual pleasure, plus it doesnt help when guys always try and put their hand round there
its made me miserable, i am not sure how much LIS would help me in my case, as the CRS seemed to put it down more to a skin condition, so when referred to a dermotologist he prescribed steroids and liquid parrafin (a very heavy moisturisor), this has actually helped alot with the 'main' fissure which was very deep and between the cheeks, it has not come back, touch wood, however i have alot of little cuts in and around the anus which are constantly reoccuring.

how has your LIS gone so far?

I might get a second opinion, the reason I say that is that skin is only at the surface and because a fissure heals from the bottom of it up as it pertains to tissue, and from the outside in as it pertains to closing - I think LIS may still be viable, as it does help reduce the tone allowing more blood flow which is good for healing. I never realized how much I had to "push" when I was having a bowel movement and the mechanics of that are much easier now and feels more natural and less forced.

The LIS recovery was a patience tester HOWEVER, I am floored by how quickly healing has moved now that the incision site has healed. If you are prone to a lot of small tears (I am too), my CRS indicates that the reduced tone will allow for better healing and reduced risk over time of fissure recurrence. If you have an LGBT health organization in your area (I'm in a large metro) considering checking with them to see if there are any gay friendly CRS's you can see that may be more familiar with fissure care as a gay person for whom sex is impacted. I found my CRS this way and I appreciate that she understood that regaining my sex life was important and a driver for why I was coming to her for help, she is also realistic with me about healing and resuming activity. She didn't treat me like a pariah for wanting to have a sex life, and really took the impact to my quality of life seriously as it pertained to trying non-surgical methods that weren't fully healing me sufficient to enjoy bottoming again.

Here's the link below. Topic is locked but lots of info there. I used pediatric dilators, and started at 9mm and used only organic lubrication - Sliquid.

post68751.html?hilit=Self%20dilation#p68751

Use the Search that you'll find above (between FAQ and Portal), just under the information about the forum. There you can search by Topic (anal dilation). Ignore the search on the right as it is not as thorough.