My dearest buddies

- I have no idea how you read my mind , not even the closest people here know what is actually in my head - but you got it miles away

!!!! Last night I cried unconsolably and just wanted to die :( :( :( - my sphincter was in such strong spasm , I saw no hope

and just wished to crawl somewhere make myself invisible to others and to myself too. Just this morning I thought I would not be able to post at all in this mood , but I made myself come to you and boy am I glad

:sprinkleheart: ! And guess what - my catchup came

- and no wonder I was spasming like crazy

!!!! It came one week early and there was no way I could predict it coming and associate it with monthly curse

. Now , I feel somewhat relieved if that was causing my strong spasms , maybe they will go when period stops

, that is now my last hope ... I tried Primrose and Velarian, and even Flexaril - nothing helped with that awful pain. Now pain even radiates in my back - I wish I can have hysterectomy with ovaries and all - oh well...(sigh)
Anyway - thank you my bestest friends

- thanks for knowing me so well and knowing that I wanted to disappear and bringing me back to you - love is a small word what I feel for you .....
