Then I went to recovery and as I woke up I stopped crying. Then my husband filled me in on everything else.

Oh Wounded, I am so sorry that your experience was so awful. WTF is wrong with those people? I hope the end result is something positive. Please continue your update as you are able.

I wonder if they gave you something that made you sob as I was given morphine and all the sudden was sobbing uncontrollably. Awful stuff!

I am back. I had to sleep for awhile. Thank you m. Actually they did not give me anything at first. So after my husband and I said good bye and he new I was in OR he asked to speak to someone in charge. He took them to a private hall and told them that he had never seen such unprofessional behavior before. Those nurses made his wife start to think she may not receive the care she might require and it was causing a lot of stress for her and that she is very sensitive if she feels like she may be putting people out. He asked her if she had any idea what I had been through the last 3 years and how much courage it took to come in again and submit rectal surgery again and how terrible and painful it is. He said if she did not know then as a recovery room nurse she should. He said the nurse did concede that rectal surgery is one of the worst. He asked her how she would like one of her loved ones go under anesthesia under stress to the point of tears.
He asked her what the hell was going on in there as he sat for 2 hours listening to bickering about who was going to take care of who. He said the nurse was not able to say much but did agree it was all very unprofessional and was very sorry.

The nurses were very nice when I woke up. It looked like people were busy with their work and not saying much at all. There was absolutely no conversations about anything other than the care of the people they were supposed to be caring for and I even heard a few kind comments. Then my husband told me what the doctor said and did. The doctor said when he got in there, the fissure was not apparent at first until he started to manipulate things a little and then it split wide open and started bleeding. Once he got it clear of blood he could see it went right down to the muscle. He could only find one and is assuming the one he found months ago was healed. He decided that another LIS was not the right procedure for me at this time so he did a fissurectomy in some sort of V formation to see if he can get it to heal from the bottom up. He said the tissue around the fissure was just like wet toilet paper consistency and to discontinue all topical treatment including lidocaine. (Bummer). He made it clear absolutely no topical treatments what so ever. He also said he found 2 hemorrhoids but was not going to touch them at this time because I was going to be in enough pain after this so we will deal with those later. I don't know if they were internal or external (my hubby did not know what to ask). But what concerns me about that is how did I get those. I have kept my stools super super soft. Any softer it could be called diarrhea so it concerns me that I developed those. I just don't know how. He wants to see in 3 weeks so I can get the rest of my questions answered.

I am so thankful for my husband. He is so good to me. We were both so disappointed about what happened and plan to talk to the doctor at the follow up visit. It is such a good hospital in our area with a good reputation but they really failed yesterday. My husband looked today and the area is very bruised and really swollen to the point that my butt cheeks don't come together. During cleaning I could feel how deformed it all feels. The doctor really numbed me up and it lasted until about 3pm today. It was wonderful but now all the pain has set in but I feel happy I had a whole day where I could not feel anything down there. I have bloody drainage. Stool slipped out twice when I thought I was passing gas and I started to worry but then realized he did not do another LIS so it was just from still being numb. Now that it has worn off, I have control again. I really hope this works. The hospital as part of it's regular routine sends a survey after your visit and I plan on having a few choice things to tell them. I started taking double Miralax two days ago just to insure baby soft stools after surgery so there will be no chance of even a somewhat hard stool and it is working well. I went a 2nd time today and it is a different kind of hurt more like burning matches. I am showering off with a hand held shower head but then soaking after in a sitz bath. He said to soak soak soak. So I am. I can't sit very long. Keep your fingers crossed that maybe this will do the trick for me and I could avoid having the flap surgery. Thanks and hugs to all.

Oh and he gave me pain meds too so hopefully they will be strong enough.

Thanks for the update Wounded. It sounds like you have been through a very tough ordeal. You are one tough lady!

I am so glad for how much your husband has your back. What would we do without supportive significant others in times like this?

Sure sounds like you have one hell of a fissure. I am sorry that you have to endure such trauma but lets hope this is what is going to finally heal you. Have you tried applying any ice for the swelling?

As for the hemmies, do you have sphincter spasms? Maybe they are caused by that? Or maybe due to surrounding inflammation? I know what you mean. In times that I have been so careful in my life, they keep coming back. I blame it on my genes. They definitely run in my family. I haven't been able to be very careful since this damn fissure and wouldn't be surprised if I have that to deal with if and when this other business resolves. Maybe yours will resolve when the fissure resolves.

What pain meds did you get? Hopefully something that will help with the inflammation?

Oh m no I had not thought of ice. I am going to try some right now thank you. Not too close but at least to get some coolness to the area. Yes I have norco and that is masking the deep knife like pain. It is the burning since my last BM I cat get to go away. Normally I would use lidocaine but that's a no no now I guess.

Sure thing :) I think I am going to try icing more myself. I know what you mean by knife pain Was your fissure around 6'o clock? That sucks that you can't use any ointment. I guess the CRS knows best. I wonder if muscle relaxants would help the burning, and if you could use them with norcos. I always assume burning is due to muscle spasm, which may or may not be true....

Yes the fissure is around 6 o'clock. I iced and it helped a little. I will do more tomorrow. I took a norco and an 800 motrin together and the combo is working miricals. I think I can sleep.