Lecia -
You are not alone. I cry all the time to the doctors as well. They probably think I am crazy too. I just have never been very good at controlling my emotions. Besides that, I cry not only when I am sad, but when I am happy, mad..pretty much any mood. My doc really hurt my feelings because I have delt with this forever. I saw 8 different doctors for over a year before anyone even diagnosed a fissure (7 of them were military docs :roll: ).
Everything will turn out fine for you in the end - don't give up. How have you been feeling the past few days? Have you tried pelvic physical therapy? My family doctor says it help alot of people.
My pain is mild to moderate. Thanks for asking! I am sore. I am just so nervous about not having a BM yet. I am going to take some MOM tonight for sure. My hubby is off all weekend and is bringing my baby to daycare on Monday and Tuesday so I can lay around all day. After that - I don't really have a plan yet, but we will figure out something I hope.
Jen

Thanks for comforting me especially when you are going through so much with trying to get over the surgery. I am glad you will have a few days to yourself. It is tough to be on your own without family around to pitchhit when things get sticky!

I have been in a bit more pain since the trip from all the driving and I have been pooping an extra time each day lately so that adds to it all. I have had physical therapy for the pelvis and it does help. But so far I haven't found anything that I can rely on. There are other anti-seizure drugs out there that can be used for neuropathic pain that I might ask about like Zonegran. I have tried neurontin and trileptal and shake like I have Parkinsons and can't tell when I have to go to the bathroom so those are out! I think I might see about uping the cymbalta. I have been on the same dose for 2 years and my body may have accomodated to it by now.

Yeah, take a little bit of MOM. That stuff really can take the anxiety about having a bowel movement so you don't worry about it. But like everyone was saying you probably don't have a lot to expel yet.

When you went to the military doctors and cried, did they freak out more than private doctors?

Corsi-I meant to tell you that if you want to read my fissure saga it all started in the introduction section but you have to go back to page 1 I think. Kim was so great about making me feel like I wasdn't alone through this and was there every day answering every question I had. That was back when there were really only about 4 of us that posted regularly. I was so happy to find the site. I got so much great info and encouragement from him and Happyass.

Did you figure out what you want to do about the packing? I think Val had packing and a nurse came by and removed it for her at home. I guess it will be expelled when you go to the bathroom though?

Thanks again for trying to calm me down tonight.

Lecia and Jen,
Please don't feel bad about crying, I do it all the time when I see the Dr's. It is so hard to control emotions when you are trying to tell them what is wrong, and sometimes it can be so overwhelming. We must be very sensitive souls!
I actually thought I was the only one who did this and did feel too emotional.
Hope you both are feeling better. You are such special people. I can't believe how caring you all are here on this site. Everyone here are great!
You guys are so inspiring.
Thank you.

Jo

Lecia,
You are so adorable in your pic!
Wow! Do you play guitar?
Jo

Lecia -
Do you still go to the pelvic therapy? How many times a week? If it helps, keep going. You will find something you can rely on. Who do you need to ask about the Zonegran to? Your family doctor? Have you ever thought of a muscle relaxer since you have issues with pelvic muscles? All hope is not lost Lecia, you can try these different meds. Have you looked into the holistic therapy you were talking about before? Your going to get through this sweetie!
I don't think the military doctors are a nice as the civilian doctors. They don't have to be. The government is paying for their salary, not the insurance companies. Folks don't have much of a choice who they see with the military doctors. I was just really mas when they kept telling me I just had hemmies. I thought I had a fissure to, and they did not want to believe me for an entire year. Then, when I told this to one of the OB doctors, she said I need to be more assertive as a patient. I was assertive and it was like pulling teeth trying to get my referal to a CRS because they thought I was healthy.
The packing is still in. They told me it would come out with a BM. I took some stool softeners today and 1.5 tablespoons of MOM, so I am hoping to go in the morning.
Jo -
Thanks! How have you been feeling? Good I hope! Are you still using the creams from your recent setback? I think it is quite common for folks to cry to their doctors, especially when they deal with these butt issues. That's why I was upset when I overheard my doc say I cry all the time - as if I was the only patient who does that.

I feel like crying but keep it in with tremendous effort and smile and make jokes out of fear that they will just dismiss me as "depressed" and not even look into my physical problem : ((( . When I get into the car I cry my eyes out and hear all of their insults playing over and over in my head and than I feel almost emotionally raped, degraded and angry that I did not say anything back - I hate myself for playing stupid just for the sake of MAYBE getting a proper treatment and just basic level of respect. I think that abused children have similar approach toward their abusers - always coming back hoping to find a true love just to get opposite of that : (. We swallow our tears and our pride to try just one more time even though we know deep down that nobody truly gives a damn :( :( :( .
Jen - I was shocked when I read your story - if he only knew how much you prized him - if he only knew ... I am so sorry buddy - we trust them with our lives and they perceive out tears as bare annoyance -

iamtiredofthis wrote:.....My great doctor, the one who I love so much made me feel bad before surgery. We had a miscommunication....... and he said, "OMG - she cries all the time". Then he talked to me and told me it was not a hemmiectomy - it was the "S" thing. He did not know I heard and I still respect him, but it did hurt my feelings. It is true I usually cry when I see him, but he has no idea about how much emotional upset these butt issues have caused me.

What's wrong with them? Having a health problem and being in pain do something to people...why do they think we cry? Because we like it? We are hysterical? Or could it be because constant pain leaves you weak and fragile?
It's disrespectful!
To all of you Corsica
(Lecia, I see you are blue and I would like to support you more and give advice, but I have to admit my English isn't good when it comes to understanding medical English :) What I can give you is a )

Lecia
Please…Don’t say that ever !
You are worth it and you deserve to be better :(
I think you are right to keep searching until you can find a doctor who wants to help you, there just has to be a reason for your pain.
My mum has been through this unknown so i can truly understand how you feel, for years my mum was told there was nothing wrong with her and she was the neurotic one When we moved to Scotland our family GP now wanted to help my mum find a resolve, the end result was Endometriosis.
Is this mayos an option for you, I like this idea of a team working for you until they find the problem ?
Please try to be strong hold on some more…
You are our inspiration and we are praying everyday for you to be better
Sending you a very very big hug
Corsi my English is great but still I find it difficult to find the words of comfort!
I have just been to my friends graveside today and prayed for you Lecia , that’s goes for all our special boardies here too, I asked him to take extra special care of us all and our familys
I just hope he can hear my prayers…
God bless to you all
xx

Oh, and I forgot to add the part about the nurse too...
So the doctor left and the nurse comes back in to bring me to the OR. She asks me what I do for a living and I told her I was a RN student. She laughs and says, "You need to toughen up if you ever want to make it in this career feild" (she was referring to my crying). What? I am not going to let some cow tell me I need to toughen up! What I need to do is learn for all the crappy nurses mistakes and be compasionate torwds my future patients. Yeah lady - she would need to "toughen up" too if she had butt issues for 18 months and she was only 28 years old. She made me more mad than anything.

Thanks everyone for reassuring me that I am not alone in my tears. I don't know why docs act like it is so unusual then since I am not the only one. I can't believe the nurse said that to you Jen. That is most unprofessional and none of her beeswax. It is much different to be the patient than it is to be the nurse. And to have your bottom operated on I think is a whole other ballgame. She sounds like she is burnt out and just petty.

I don't go to pelvic therapy as much as I should as it is an hour drive each way and it kind of undoes the therapy. I wish I could find someone closer. I am seeing a pain doctor this week and will ask him about all the different treatments. He does something called prolotherapy which primes your body to heal itself. They are injections, but I don't know if I am a candidate or not.

Thank you Tabby and Jo for your prayers. You are such a great support team for me. I appreciate your reassuring me I am worth it and telling me about your mom, Tabby. Her experience gives me some hope that something can be done even if it takes a long time and determination finding the right person.

How are you feeling today, Fiss? I wish I could hold it in better. I guess it is just becoming such an automatic response these days. Thank you for your friendship.

With love,
Lecia