My research lead me to this site only yesterday. I've read and absorbed so much information. Today I decided to share my story.
I've been dealing with pain since early last month. I had a bout of diarrhea and thought I had hemorrhoids. I tried every OTC cream that I could get my hands on but the pain persisted. I was having to sleep with water and a bottle of Tylenol within arms reach to help me cope.
I finally couldn't take it any longer and went to a walk-in clinic on 1/11. I was extremely embarrassed to even talk about my problem with the dr but she was very understanding. After she examined me, she apologized for the pain that I must be in and said she was going to refer me to a surgeon. I also got a prescription for Proctosol. Needless to say, I was terrified and cried on the way home. I just knew I was going to need a hemorrhoidectomy.
The week leading up to my surgeon appointment, I felt like I withdrew from life even more. I was crying all the time. Not just from the pain but I felt emotional trauma too. I felt like I wasn't being a good mother to my daughter. It's like everyone is enjoying life but me. During this time, my appetite ceased to exist. I became very weak and just wanted to sleep all the time.
On 1/18, I finally had my appointment with the surgeon. I was so scared. I could barely answer the nurse's questions without my voice cracking and my eyes filling with tears. When the surgeon finally walked into the room, his first words were "I bet you a million dollars you don't have a hemorrhoid." He said most people sent to him for hemorrhoids actually had a fissure. After the very uncomfortable/borderline traumatic examination, he said I did have a fissure. He prescribed me an ointment with heart medication mixed in (don't remember the exact name). I was told to use it 2-3 times daily for 6 weeks. If I didn't heal after 6 weeks, he wants to try the ointment again.
I left his office feeling a little defeated. I've already been in pain for over a month and this could last another 12 weeks. The Friday after the appointment, I experienced the worst pain that I have ever felt. It was a constant intense burning that nothing was helping. All I could do was cry.
I felt better by Monday and decided I needed to get "my head straight." I tried to change my outlook and get my sleeping schedule back on track. It wasn't helping me being up all night in pain by myself while my family was sleeping.
I've been using the ointment for nearly 2 weeks now. If I don't have a bm, I feel fairly normal. I need roughly 12 hours to recover after having a bm, though. I'm trying to continue staying positive but this is honestly the worst thing I've ever been through.