Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

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Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby Fyourmermaid » 25 Feb 2017, 23:23

I had the LIS and 2 external hemorrhoids cauterized this past monday. The pain each day has been really tough psychologically. Im trying to keep positive thinking going. I have 3 kids from 6 years to 4 months old. I can not really do much for them as i can hardly move with all the pain i feel. I feel like my husband doesnt sympathize at all. He's asks me to scratch his back, give him a bj and has also tried to get me to eat desserts because he was craving it. I hate that im so restricted to a high fiber diet rightnow and i felt it insensitive for him to try and convince me. After surgery my body was quite stiff so i asked him for a back rub and k got a whole minute! Its only been a 6 days and he just doesn't understand how much pain im in. This is so frustrating! Maybe im emotional about it but i know he is taking what the doctor said to be 100% factual. That id be up and walking and doing alot by the third day post op!...yeah right! How could the surgeon have really thought this??
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby Mypoorbutt » 26 Feb 2017, 07:18

Oh no gun I can totally relate to you
My LIS was awful for the first month but the day after surgery my husband insisted that I go to asda shopping for food. And by the 5th day was back to normal wanting his coffee made every 30mins and all his meals cooking. He also insisted on a Bj at least every other day after day 5.
I want to think its because they just want us to be well and are scared when we look poorly but I really think its because they are so self absorbed they don't see why their life should have to be impacted in any way.
Stay strong do not do what I did you need that rest to get well....I think surgeons say that because that is the best case scenario and I do know people on here that are pretty much back to normal by the 3rd day but they are in the minority
Super good luck
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby paine » 26 Feb 2017, 07:48

Hi fyourmermaid. I totally understand how you are feeling. Im more than 4 weeks post lis and just beginning to feel better but not yet normal. Im still having pain from time to time. The doc does not even know what they are saying. My doc said at 2 weeks i could return to my desk job. Thats so not the case with me. I can barely walk at 2 weeks post op! Sure there are people here who were fortunate enough to be pain free after op but not all people are the same. Just saying. Hoping you feel better soon!
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby GilmoreGirl » 26 Feb 2017, 08:30

I'm so sorry you're not getting any support - it's just not fair. You have reminded me how lucky I have been to have my parents help and understanding through this.

Do you have anyone - a close friend or relative - that could either help out or speak to your husband about how difficult this is? Could you have him take a look at this forum?

I really wish I could be of more help. This is so difficult...pain can completely take over your life. I'm sending you healing thoughts, and praying that you'll be up and about in no time!

-GG
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby Fyourmermaid » 26 Feb 2017, 13:34

Its sad that having women go through what i am makes me feel a but better about it. Like you guys made it so can i! I deeply regret surgery at this point. Any suggestions of foods to eat? All i eat is oatmeal and salad and granola bars. I am so sick of this. Going to the bathroom is still very hard even after taking stool softener and metamucil. Anyone know a sure way to have easy poops?
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby Mypoorbutt » 26 Feb 2017, 15:25

I wish I could give you some help but I have to work hard to get my BMs anything other than liquid. I know GG has some great tips on getting a good BM.
All I can say is please p!ease do not regret the surgery it took me 5 weeks to feel better mainly due to my crohns and IBS but the LIS really helped and there have been many times when my bowel behaves that I am pain free. Its not even been a week for you yet, be kind to yourself and give your body time to recover and I'm sure you will be back to normal very soon
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby GilmoreGirl » 26 Feb 2017, 17:07

For sure miralax/restoralax has been my best friend. I was on morphine which is very constipating, and I dose of this in the evening with lots of water kept things moving smoothly and soft.

If you can tolerate a fibre supplement, psyllium works well. For sensitive stomachs, ive been told normacol fibre is a good option, but I have not tried it yet.

The oatmeal is a great choice. For softer bms, you need soluble fibre, and oatmeal and the above supplements are just that. Bananas are another good source, flax, oat bran, etc.

My best trick was a smoothie in the evening with miralax, a bit of Metamucil or some ground oats, banana, and almond milk, as well as some lactose free Greek yogurt. (I have ibs so no dairy for me). Combining the miralax with the fibre is perfect - miralax acts gently by pulling water into the colon, and the fibre "absorbs" and "holds" the water in the stool, giving you formed but soft bms.

The science of poop lol. We all know too much
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby GilmoreGirl » 26 Feb 2017, 17:09

Oh and also - if I'm really having trouble I use a small bulb enema with a thin tip coated in Vaseline, filled with Luke warm water. Helps not to have to have to push so much in a pinch
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby Fyourmermaid » 26 Feb 2017, 21:19

Thank you so mucb for your advice everyone. Its been a week and ive noticed i have more pain now when i have a bowel movement. I drink metamucil but it does not feel like it is helping. I have large stools that are hard to pass that float. I scream while i go. It feels like the poop is cutting my rectum as it comes out. I have to push fairly hard. I also take stool softener twice a day. Idk what else i can do to ensure i have less pain. I did the enema the 3rd day postop and though the poop was soft i was irritated from going so much which caused me alot of pain. I thought that i should be feeling less pain by now versus the beginning but its quite the opposite.
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Re: Husband does not understand how painful this is...HELP

Postby GilmoreGirl » 26 Feb 2017, 21:37

how much fibre are you eating? It may be too much. How about trying a liquids/soft food diet for a few days? I find I go a lot less and smaller bms when I do this.

What stool softener are you using?

-GG
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