where does this throbbing burning spasming ball of hell come from?

It’s about 3 inches up there

I’m about to take a $500.00 chef knife
and start carving out the evil.

I’m embarrassed to admit that 30 mg hydromorphone does not take the pain away.

Im about to do a double sowkow off my balcony but I don’t think it’s high enough to send me to the next world

I’m not joking around how can it be 2019 and no doctor knows what to do.

I’m 1 month away from homelessness

My pain is so intense and unrelenting

please don't do this. don't harm yourself further. you will get better, you will heal!
do you believe in God? do you have faith? can you try to take your mind elsewhere? take it towards happy thoughts!
wishing you healing!!!

Do rectogesic or nifedipine or anything give relief? Have you tried pranicura?

hurtingend --- You WILL get better. Many on this board had hit-bottom days too and know the pain you are in. Still, most of us heal one way or another and continues with life. Please hang in there. Things WILL get better!!!

Have you had any imaging studies done, CT or MRI? Any contrast imaging? Perhaps that is the way to really find the reason for the pain, something that couldn't be done with direct viewing in a colonoscopy.

patience_and_healing wrote:Have you had any imaging studies done, CT or MRI? Any contrast imaging? Perhaps that is the way to really find the reason for the pain, something that couldn't be done with direct viewing in a colonoscopy.

Here is what I’ve had done

Colonoscopy Feb 2019
Cystoscopy April 2017
Pelvic MRI July 2018
CT Scan pelvis lower abdomen June 2017

In August of 2017 I had a bladder neck resection surgery....it was discovered through cystoscopy that my bladder neck was high, narrow, and tight (I was having terrible urinary problems and the surgery did help some but my general pelvic rectal pain continues)

In 2012 I was diagnosed with an anal fissure. I went zen on diet and nitro ointment...it took forever but apparently it had almost healed 2 years later...

Doctors think that the sphincter spasm from the fissure has caused me to have continued spasm of the pelvic floor/rectum.

I’ve had 2 unsuccessful nerve blocks in the last year

This week I have an appointment with one of the top colorectal surgeons...also I have another epidural nerve block onThursday...done by the Interventional Pain Clinic at one of my local hospitals

One thing I want is a transrectal ultrasound.

Definitely bring up the ultrasound idea with the surgeon. I wonder if it's possible to just ablate the nerves that are causing the pain, hence solving the problem. There has to be a way to solve this, don't let the doctor shunt you out without a concrete treatment plan.

so far they haven’t found the right nerve bundle, if it even is nerves

At this point I’m going to demand a bag since my rectum I believe is actually inside out.

Inside out? Well hopefully that brings you pain relief.

?

I’m going to stop all supplements and medication

Looking back I had no issues when I just lived.

Now I’m scared because I’ve been on morphine for quite some time and I won’t just be able to stop it on my own