"If you're going through hell, keep going....."

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"If you're going through hell, keep going....."

Postby MarathonGirl » 27 Nov 2013, 09:56

I've had my fissure for 6 weeks as a result of chronic diarrhea that I've had since May. Usually I am able to function OK at work, however the last week has been horrible. I have pain when I move/sit/stand/walk/everything. Thankfully, I am able to sleep.

One thing I've noticed, is that diarrhea has become the kiss of death for me. As my gasto specialist said, it's much harder on my anus than a formed stool. If I have a day with a lot of diarrhea, I will be in debilitating pain for several days afterward. When the pain starts to subside, I will have another day of bad diarrhea, and it starts all over again.

Today I noticed that my pain is slightly more tolerable than it has been over the last week (I could actually put equal weight on both butt cheeks when sitting in the bath) and sure enough, I had diarrhea this morning. I decided to "nip it in the bud" and immediately took half of an anti-diarrhea pill (a whole pill makes me constipated).

I get slight pain relief from the ointments I got from the doctor, from using my hot water bottle, and swimming. I also take zinc and vitamin B6 (as of 2 days ago).

I have also cut my diet in half, in the hopes that I will stop having diarrhea, and stop having so many bowel movements. So I kind of worries me that I still had diarrhea this morning in spite of the fact that I am barely eating anything.

I am really hopeful that I can go to a Greenday concert tonight; I was able to sit in the tub and also sit at my kitchen table. It's not super comfortable, but not impossible. I really don't want this fissure to take over my social life!
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Re: "If you're going through hell, keep going....."

Postby MarathonGirl » 28 Nov 2013, 19:14

Couldn't go to Greenday last night, too much pain when sitting. At least when I'm laying on my couch with the hot water bottle, I'm fairly comfortable, so I really didn't feel bad about the concert because I know I would have been in agony.

Today I'm in the same amount of pain as yesterday (and pretty much all week), except I couldn't sit in the tub properly this morning (which probably means worse than yesterday). I don't understand why I'm having such a bad week when I've been eating less to limit my BM, started using the hot water bottle, have been exercises, sleeping a lot, taking all the vitamins and ointments; today should have been a GOOD day.

BM are not the most painful part of my day; actually, other than some stinging, they are tolerable. The most painful part of my day is getting in and out of my car. When I get in, it feels like someone it sticking a 2x4 up my ass, and I have to drive with my left foot digging into the floor to take some weight off my butt, or else I sit slightly off to the slide which makes driving awkward. Getting out the car is probably worse though, because it feels like that 2x4 is s l o w l y being removed from my ass, and it's agonizing. Getting out of the swimming pool feels much the same way, although I am mostly comfortable swimming as long as I don't kick my legs too hard. I am not sore at all if I do the splits in the pool, in and out.

I am nervous about getting a cold, because when I start coughing it doesn't stop for 3 weeks, and at the moment a cough is not the kind of pain I can really deal with.

I almost cancelled an LA PD this afternoon because I still couldn't sit without a lot of pain, but I showed up and was lucky, because the chairs were really soft swivel chairs with no arms, so I was able to get creative with my sitting position to be as comfortable as possible.

Work is really, really tough. Other staff are starting to notice that I'm not walking normally and when they ask me, I feel like I am going to start crying.

I wish I would have started this diary 6 weeks ago, because it wasn't until recently that I haven't been able to sit comfortably. Just 2 weeks ago I was going to spin class, using the eliptical, things I couldn't even fathom right now since even swimming isn't 100%.

Some day I will look back on this experience and think, "I can't believe that happened to me."
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Re: "If you're going through hell, keep going....."

Postby Rachael 1984 » 02 Dec 2013, 17:08

Hi mG,
I am so sorry you couldn't go to the concert. Please keep fighting. There must be something in the air, as I am really bad too at the moment.... Be careful with the swimming, the chlorine might irritate the Fissure, I know it did mine. I have cried on the way to work today and in my boss office. The Hell of Fissures! People don't get it, how awful and debilitating the pain is.... Do you have any plans for the next step in healing? Xxx
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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