me too, that's why I am trying to improve myself, make sure that your stool is soft all the time, I think it's the key factor, have a good one, cheers

so heres a bit of an update:
- i started feeling quite raw and sore down there and after trying to see things with my phone i discovered I was also quite red. Anyways, I actually tried using canesten and it worked! the redness and rawness as well as those other small 'fissures' seem to have resolved themselves. I still have my genuine fissure tho, and of course the other fissure from when i was like 11 years old, but point is the canesten has helped meaning it sounds like there was indeed some sort of fungal/yeast thing going on which i suspect may be due to me applying paw paw cream. dont get me wrong, paw paw cream was awesome for me but lets face it, it does form a barrier. i have also had jock itch in the past.
- i have finished my course of rectogesic (8 weeks - apparently you aren't supposed to use it for more than 8 weeks according to google). Overall i feel like it definitely helped the situation but certainly didnt heal it or anything. As soon as i finished using rectogesic I started using aloe vera (one without alcohol) and omg so far this stuff is heaven. Right now my bum feels like fairy floss and rainbows. I actually had diarrhea this morning a couple of times and this would usually destroy me but nope, it feels good. I can still obviously feel i have a fissure but things are starting to feel good.
- UNFORTUNATELY, i noticed a small thing right next to my butt that looks like a pimple. I went to the doctor today and he said it is an infected abscess. Just what I needed. I have an appointment with a surgeon (my first appointment ever) next monday. Given the condition of my fissure I was planning on cancelling or postponing it but my doctor says i will need to see him now because of the abscess. hes also given me a course of drugs.

and now my landlord is getting annoyed because she says im using the washing machine too much (I didnt know there was such a thing) and after a few other outrageous things she's said to me im now trying to find another place to live and omg i feel like im living in hell. I'm unemployed so it's very hard finding anyone that will even have me. Sometimes I fantasise about walking out into the forest and putting a bullet in my head. I'm not suicidal, honest, it's just that thinking this gives me a sense of control. Let me reiterate that again - im not suicidal. Just sick of feeling helpless. Anyways, sorry if this got weird.

oh i almost forgot!! diet!!
ok so my new friend is pumpkin! so the improvement in my fissure that has seemed to happen quite dramatically over the last week or so has coincided with me 1) using aloe vera and 2) reducing my intake of bread. ok so this is really important i think because if i can provide some history:
- when i was about 11 i got the first fissure. i applied some random cream prescribed by a doctor and it went away within a couple of weeks. it didnt come back again until i was 18. It was at this time where i changed my diet by eating LOTS of sandwiches. like instead of eating one sandwich for lunch, i was taking about 6 or 8 sandwiches with me because i was now at uni and there for longgg hours. I never actually recognised the fact that my fissure reoccurance happened when i increase my bread intake until recently.

So, back to present, i dont want to decrease calories. then ill be losing weight. this is not what anyone wants when theyre trying to heal. during the day i typically eat about 4 sandwiches. I've now cut this down to 2 sandwiches and replaced that meal with precooked (frozen and then reheated via the microwave) quinoa, mince chicken (mince chicken reheats very well) and PUMPKIN my new friend.

My advice regarding diet is this - cut out bread or at least reduce it. Replace it with a natural organic grain with lots of fibre (like quinoa). Avoid things that will make you constipated like potatoes (one small one is probably ok), cheese, bananas or too much yoghurt (i have one yoghurt a day). I have also added to each meal one piece of fruit so I'm now eating an apple and a peach. Notice these two fruits help things stay soft. You could also have pear. You basically want your diet to consist of organic natural food as much as possible. Some people will avoid meat. I can't bring myself to do this. There are so many vitamins in meat and if im low of protein i will feel fucked. Finally i would like to say that everyone is completely different so do what you think is right for you. Now lets take a moment to pray for the structural integrity of my butt hole during my eminent examination.

AAANnnnnddddd one more post because i just remembered that there is a third thing ive been doing but its going to sound really weird. I am one to try alternative things and this is what it is.. masturbation. I know, i know, it hurts like hell to cum. But if you're at the point where you can handle cumming then maybe you could try it out (dont do this if your fissure is really bad!!). I really am just saying it all tonight with zero filter. Anyways. Point is, when you masturbate, HUGGGGE amounts of blood flow are surging through your entire pelvic floor. I have to do it sitting because this seems to feel more 'stable' in my bum. If i stand i will be in pain. I would masturbate for about an hour on average (sometimes 2) once each night (as far after a bm as possible). Anyways, now im thinking this alternative method may be the reason I now have an abscess since it could generate friction in the area and plenty of sweat so try this one at your own risk!! I am now not doing this method because im sure it will exacerbate the abscess!! this is more for ppl who feel daring. I just know that ages back i was lying in bed and felt so damn horny because i couldnt jack off because cumming hurt too much so i was just watching porn without doing anything. I resisted the urge to fap for the rest of the day and well into the second day until i couldnt take it anymore. after that my bum felt wayyy better. I dont think its particularly healthy for guys to hold out on cumming like this but for women it might be different. Even just being turned on will effect the muscles down there. i dont know if its them relaxing or just sitting with a different tone but i think its them relaxing. Oh and make sure youre watching some truly good porn or get someone to help you out so you cum really hard. After you cum, lie down on your bed (without your partner if you have one) and if you've done it right you will feel something amazing - your bum relaxing. after all that your bum just can't resist, it will give in and relax. Anyways, hopefully this post wont get me kicked off this site because I am being really honest over here about what might help people out. I did it every night and each night the pain was a little bit less when cumming until finally there was no pain. But like i said, beware of the potential to cause an abscess or something from sitting down so maybe stand up instead? officially the most unfiltered dribble of a post :)