My fissure journey

Diary of my mad sphincter

Are you having, or have you had a Lateral Internal Sphincterotomy (LIS)? Please share your experiences here, or ask any questions.

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Re: My fissure journey

Postby msimon » 17 Jun 2015, 17:07

Hi all. I am so upset and need to vent right now. I have been going to a pelvic pain clinic for a year or so now and have been getting physio from an excellent therapist there for the last 4 months and injections from a gynecologist there periodically over the last year. I just got back from an appointment that I was anxiously waiting for as I continue to have so much pain and don't know if it's caused by my incision site (which is still not healed) or my pelvic floor muscles. I have gotten some benefit from the physio but it doesn't last so I thought some trigger point injections would be the way to go.

Well, I have been rescheduling my CRS follow ups for months now as I wanted to avoid any prying while I continue to heal but just got pried by my gynecologist HORRIBLY! :sadd: She wanted to have a look at how it was doing back there and with my legs in the stirrups (not even a good viewing position and with not even a light) she pries and I moan in pain and she pries more, and more. I felt the skin right at the breaking point and really don't know how much damage was done as I wouldn't be able to tell blood from all the iodine she uses on the area but I am soooooooo SORE! And so UPSET and so VIOLATED! :wtf:

And all I get from my Husband (who was there) is that "well, she wanted to have a look" and "you can control everything" Screw that! Why can't I control whether someone pries my incision area? What about my request that we not look and what about me screaming in pain? I trusted her and I am angry and so sad (I can't stop crying). My appointments with this Doctor are so rushed you just get no time to talk. If I had time I could have told her that it is so delicate and that I am barely able to heal down there. It all happened so fast. :~!@: It's just been too long to take a step back like this now. I know what is done is done but I just can't shake this. :verysad: Rant over. Thanks for listening, if you made it this far. :afsmile:
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby chachacha » 17 Jun 2015, 17:46

Oh my. I would be furious too, and probably going back in my mind to figure out how I could have possibly stopped her! But, as you say, it's over now and we can only hope that she only caused you temporary pain, but no further physical damage. How awful that you feel rushed, and that she has no understanding of your condition. I get very frustrated by the fact that I have had to educate myself on so many different medical fronts, and very often become much more knowledgable about a given medical condition than the so-called specialists. And so angry that there is no one person who has enough information to give you a firm diagnosis and accurate prognosis.

I wish that I could be of more help, but do know that I care and hope that you feel much better very soon.

:hugs:
Fissure since about 2007
Fissure diagnosed in 2011
Diltiazem for two years - didn't work well
LIS January, 2015
Hemorrhoidectomy December, 2017
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby Scientist2516 » 19 Jun 2015, 10:26

Oh wow, wow, wow, that is awful. I would never go back to see her, and I would tell her why. She had no business to examine you in that way - she is a gyno, and you have a CRS! What an idiot. If your visits to her are rushed and she won't listen, she is a bad doctor. My gyno always says "we are going to do such and such" and then waits until I say OK. And if I flinch he immediately backs off.
Oh msimon, I HOPE you heal quickly from this. My thoughts are with you.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby owmybum » 20 Jun 2015, 04:14

Oh my god..... What an awful thing to happen to you.
I would be emailing her office with a complaint quick sharp.
I'm so sorry you were subjected to this. Of course you were violated... Your legs were up in stirups for god sake, how vulnerable is that....... And that is completely the wrong position to look at a fissure from..... And not even stopping when you were clearly very uncomfortable.... Well..... I can't say the words I want to say on here... It would be very un lady like of me!

I really hope there is no further damage to your fragile skin..... Slather the cream on...

Huge hugs

:afsmile: :hugs: :comfort: :huggies: :vse:
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby msimon » 02 Jul 2015, 12:45

Thanks all. You are so kind. Image

I have finally cooled off about it now. I guess I am mostly mad at myself for mentioning that I was having very painful BMs that day as this made her want to look to see if she could help. It just all happened so fast. The thing that gets me most is that she didn't stop when I was screaming, but then again neither does my CRS. I think they see it being painful as a necessary evil and probably don't react to it anymore. Arg. Or maybe they just consider us whiners...

Well next Wednesday (July 8th) is my follow up with my CRS. I still have a ton of pain down there and many days can hardly get a BM out, let alone my daily 3! I think a lot of it is my pelvic floor and external sphincter. I really need to be able to get the physio back there to really help things, I think. But I am still oozing a bit so I don't think I am healed enough yet. My Hubby says he can't see where it is coming from so I am very frustrated by this. I hope my CRS can shed some light on things without reinjuring me. I am really very worried about that and have put it off because of that for so long.

I am just such an anxious mess about all this. The pain makes me really worried about what is going on inside but I don't think I can let anyone scope me as that is when this all started by giving me a fissure. I am worried that I am doing harm like causing hemmies as I have to strain to poop. I just can't handle the thought of getting something else done down there but I am so prone to them... I just feel like this is never going to end and I am having dark thoughts again. It's just becoming too much to handle and I see no end in sight Image. So much for the LIS being the fix for me. Sorry, rant over. Thanks for listening, if you made it this far.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby Scientist2516 » 08 Jul 2015, 14:15

msimon, you know we are here for you every step of the way. I feel really bad for you that you are having these depressive thoughts. It's so understandable because pain takes its toll in ways most people will never understand. I mean, pain is exhausting and overwhelming, makes it hard to think about anything else. I think everyone here knows that. Please remember that dark thoughts are just that - they are thoughts - you can deal with them in the same way you deal with the pain itself. The thoughts are part of your condition NOT PART OF YOU. When you have a bad thought, tell yourself "whew that was a bad one" and don't listen to it. Think of the depression and anxiety as part of the symptoms of anal dysfunction. Try not to let them get to your core being.

OK, enough with the preaching. I just saw your follow up is today! So I'm really hoping it's good news. Please let us know...........
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby msimon » 09 Jul 2015, 17:23

Thanks so much Scientist. You are so kind to take the time to try and cheer me up. :afsmile:

I do indeed have good news from my CRS appointment yesterday. MY INCISION SITE IS HEALED! My fissure has long since healed so there is no open wound down there anymore (at least what could be seen upon prying as he didn't scope me). He said the oozing is coming from my new skin tag that resulted from my surgery and he says when it gets irritated it weeps (just like me lol). He said he would remove them (I have another one from long ago too) at a later date if I like, when my pelvic floor settles down. I really hope it doesn't come to that but is so nice to know he is willing to do so if I want. He also told me I could come back anytime I need, which is a huge relief for me as I was thinking I was going to be discharged. I also got the green light to do physio back there. Yikes! Going to take things real slow but for now I am going to ride this high. Still have pain but at least I know that HUGE hurdle is over!

Thanks again everyone for all the support! :smilyhug: I don't know what I would have done without this forum and you wonderful people that frequent it.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby Scientist2516 » 09 Jul 2015, 18:31

Oh my gosh, healed, that's amazing. Wonderful news.
Time for some fireworks:
:stars: :stars: :stars:

Hopefully that skin tag will get less irritated with time, and stop weeping.

I'm glad to try to help, msimon. You do so much for people here. You always give great, encouraging advice.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
User avatar
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby salamon555 » 09 Jul 2015, 23:36

hello , im happy you are doing better im praying for you
Last edited by salamon555 on 23 Sep 2015, 18:43, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My fissure journey

Postby hopefull » 10 Jul 2015, 00:01

That's such great news msimon, I'm so glad to hear you have healed and hoping you experience less pain with each week.

:woohoo:
AF since Jan '15 postpartum
Taking: Lax-sachets, flaxseed oil, Mg
Topical: Diltiazem, Sudocrem
Circulation: Warm wheat bag, relax, short walks
Tried: Rectogesic, slippery elm, Lactulose
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