My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Hoping for full healing after 3+ years with fissure

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My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 19 Aug 2016, 10:59

Hi everyone,

I have decided to start a diary chronicling my thoughts, fears, and experiences with fissure surgery. I think it will help me to get my thoughts out there and hopefully it will be helpful to others. My surgery is on Friday, 8/26, which is one week away. I am very scared (an understatement), but know I have to do this because I have been suffering with a fissure, on and off, for 3+ years, since December 2012.

While Diltiazem helped to heal me somewhat, I don't feel it ever truly healed it completely and that the fissure has always been there. I was able to live a semi-normal life in 2013 and 2014 with flare-ups here and there (some of which were quite painful), but then things started getting worse in 2015 when Diltiazem started giving me itching and a rash and wasn't working as well as it used to. Yes, I took the ointment that long just to avoid surgery. I knew it wasn't fully working, but since I was able to enjoy my life somewhat and function semi-normally while using it, I just kept using it. Nitro was offered to me, but with my tendency toward bad headaches, I was too afraid to use it, and Nifedipine was never an option from any of the doctors or surgeons I saw.

So, I made the decision in July of this year to go through with the surgery. Technically, this will be an "exam under anesthesia" since none of the CRS's I've seen have actually seen the fissure. It's internal and would require a scope to view it. Since I'm so tight down there and having so much pain at the moment (and am a very anxious person that hates medical procedures), viewing with a scope without sedation just couldn't be done. So, I will be put under general anesthesia (propofol) to get examined properly. If my CRS finds what I think he will find, he will perform a LIS and fissurectomy. I will be really happy to finally know what's really going on down there.

I also have an anxiety disorder (with panic attacks when I'm really stressed out) and depression, which is controlled to some extent with Prozac, but flares up when I'm under extreme stress, which obviously includes this experience. : ( So, this decision was incredibly difficult for me. I am terrified, but know I have to do it.

Things that scare me the most about it right now: the magnesium citrate prep the night before, being able to control my anxiety at the hospital and not freaking out, post-op pain (getting a fissurectomy seems to mean for more pain and a longer recovery from what I've read on this forum) and the recovery pain. I do not have much pain during BMs (other than stinging or scraping of the fissure when I go sometimes), so I am really afraid how it will be after surgery. : ( I really hope for the best with that. My pain right now mainly occurs for several hours after BMs and comes and goes (spasms, I'm guessing), with lots of pulling pain, some searing pain, stinging, and lots of throbbing. Some days are a lot worse than others and it just depends on how I use the bathroom. My bms are normally very soft (sometimes on the verge of diarrhea due to the Prilosec I take for my acid reflux), but sometimes I will get a hard stool in the morning when I first go, which seems to get worse with my menstrual cycle. So, my BMs can be unpredictable at times. I'm worried how that will all turn out, too.

Anyway, those are my thoughts and fears for the moment. I am going to try to enjoy the day and not think too much about things. I'm just hoping for the best and that this surgery will help me get on the path to recovery and healing and I will never get one of these fissures ever again.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 20 Aug 2016, 13:00

More pain today. Had a looser stool, which seems to have irritated the fissure. : ( So, not having a good day. I need to take our kitty to have her vaccinations done and claws clipped, too, so that's going to be not very fun while in pain. Our kitty is very stubborn and getting her into the cat carrier is always a massive chore. Hopefully it won't be too bad this time. I just want her claws clipped so she stops getting caught on everything in the house and I certainly won't feel up to taking her in after my surgery.

Still freaked out. Trying to distract my mind by cleaning the house and watching YouTube videos. Not much else to report at the moment. Just counting down the days.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Mypoorbutt » 20 Aug 2016, 14:02

Really hope it goes well for you,
I will be having LIS in October so will be interested to hear your journey. Like you I have no pain during a BM but the pain starts after 20 mins and builds for about 8 hours, although I have had Botox and haven't had a proper spasm in two month which has been great although I'm still getting the stinging and burning if I go to the toilet too many times in one day so I know the fissure is still there.
I too was very scared of being put to sleep but here in the UK they don't use bowel prep so didn't need to worry about that thankfully as that would have really upset me.
I too had a fissurotomy and my recovery from Botox was very similar to a fellow boardie who just has Botox, so maybe it won't make it too much harder for you.
Keep strong you are taking positive steps to ensure you are as well as can be
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 21 Aug 2016, 09:15

Thank you for the good thoughts, mypoorbutt. : ) Sounds like we have similar pain with our fissures. I'm sorry the Botox didn't work fully for you and hope LIS fixes the problem once and for all. My CRS didn't even offer Botox since he said it would be too expensive for me at this point (I'm paying for all of this out-of-pocket since my insurance has no CRS's in their system) and I've had my fissure too long. I don't think he even offers it at his practice.

You're so lucky you don't use bowel prep in the UK. I'm very regular and probably won't be eating much at all the two days before the procedure (and obviously nothing after midnight the night before), so I'm worried about how the magnesium citrate will affect me. My mom couldn't even finish the bottle when she had a procedure on her ovaries. I guess I will just try my best. All of this will be over soon and at least I don't have to do the two enemas he normally has people do for other procedures. Seems way overkill for me and he doesn't want to cause me more pain.

I will update more tomorrow. Not much else to report other than increasing nerves. : ( But I'm hanging in there.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Luka
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 21 Aug 2016, 12:55

Having a lot of pain today, including throbbing and some shards of glass pain after I had a second BM this morning. : ( Not having a good day. This all just reminds me why I need this surgery so badly. I want to end this cycle. The muscle just will not stop clenching. I also get sharp pains in my hip area on both sides, which makes me wonder if I have two fissures, which wouldn't surprise me at this point. Feeling really down today, but hopeful for the upcoming surgery this week.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Luka
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 22 Aug 2016, 09:14

In pain again this morning. Went to the bathroom a lot with looser stools. I probably had too much fiber yesterday. The cycle continues. : (

I also am getting my period. : ( It just happened to hit during the week of my surgery, but I was prepared for this since I'm on birth control pills. Was thinking of just taking more active pills to skip the withdrawal bleeding period, but decided against it since I've never done that before. This just adds another layer of pain and stress to everything, ugh.

I will probably start eating less as the days go on, especially since my appetite tends to go bye-bye when I'm under extreme stress. My CRS said nothing about what to eat or how little to eat. He just wants me to do the Magnesium Citrate 10oz drink the evening before. I'm wondering if I should start that earlier in the day since I've heard it can keep people up all night. Not at all looking forward to that part. : ( My fissure is irritated and angry enough as it is.

I'm worried about all the pain medications backing me up after surgery, so I will probably go buy some Miralax to take (I've never taken it before). All I take now is 2 Colace 100mg a day. I just don't want to get constipated after surgery. : ( That's one of my biggest fears. So maybe taking Miralax is a good idea, just in case, even though I tend to lean toward looser stools (with random harder stools during the month at random times, which freaks me out). The CRS's directions say to take 1 tablespoon of Metamucil every morning after surgery, but it never worked very well for me. Ugh, I don't know what to do. My body just seems to be screwy sometimes.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today. Keep the good fight going against your fissures, everyone! May we all be healed and pain-free soon!
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Luka
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Mypoorbutt » 22 Aug 2016, 10:42

Hi Luka,
If your not eating maybe you don't need to drink the whole bowel prep, especially as they don't even prescribe it over here, if you tend to loose stools magnesium citrate could go straight through you.
As for what to take after from what I have read and heard loose stools hurt more than hard as the residue gets stuck in the cut...the aim I guess is for a sift but formed stool but how we are meant to achieve that I have no idea.
I was on my period when I had my Botox and fissurotomy and just felt it made the general area feel my heavy and achy...typical how our bodies tend to work against us.
Hugs and good look this will all be behind you (pardon the pun) soon
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 22 Aug 2016, 12:22

Hi Mypoorbutt,

Yeah, that's what I was thinking about the bowel prep. I will probably just drink half the bottle or as much as I can muster. I'm small-framed and barely 93 lbs right now due to how little I eat and what I eat (veggies, fruits, and some cornbread) and I think a full bottle would be overkill for me. I will just give it a shot and try my best. I'm incredibly regular and always go in the morning each day (once or twice, usually twice). Plus, my bowels move a lot more when I'm upset and stressed out. : ( So, I don't think I will worry much about the magnesium citrate.

I don't know if I've ever had a "perfect" stool and I have no idea how to achieve it, either. : ( I've tried all sorts of things, including the Metamucil, and it just seemed to make it harder or didn't help at all. I take Prilosec, which causes loose stools anyway, so that's probably my main problem right now. Plus, all the veggies and fruits in my diet. I'm tired of obsessing about stool quality and don't think I will ever achieve perfect stool with no residue at all. I will just have to manage as best I can. : ( I won't be eating much and things will be screwed up anyway from the anesthesia and pain meds, so I will try not to worry about it now. But I will probably buy some Miralax, anyway, in case I have trouble and try the Metamucil again since those were my CRS's orders.

Thank you for the hugs and good luck. : ) Trying my best to hang in there. Nerves are getting worse each day, but trying to occupy my mind with other things.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Luka
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Luka » 23 Aug 2016, 09:39

The days are getting closer and I'm getting more scared, although anxious to get it over with. So tired of dealing with this pain that is so unpredictable each day.

Yesterday I actually managed to have a decent day and was able to enjoy going out to do some chores and shopping, which is rare for me these days. I enjoyed dinner with my family and tried to relax the best I could.

It seems like certain days I will irritate the fissure more with how I go to the bathroom, no matter how good the consistency might be. : ( It might be looser and then I might be okay an hour afterward, with minor throbbing/stinging. Or the stinging/throbbing comes back hours later and jolts me at random times, which makes it hard to function decently. It's just so unpredictable and it's hard to concentrate on anything when it happens. My fissure feels higher up in there, so it's harder to clean the area and not irritate it. Of course, my period is screwing with me right now, so my morning hasn't been the greatest with cramping and an upset stomach.

I made the mistake last night of reading someone's story on Reddit about the fissurectomy they got when they had a fissure for so long. They were talking about medical issues you've never seen a doctor about, but probably should. Fissures were one of the things mentioned. Someone said they let their fissure go for so long that it built up all kinds of scar tissue which made it so it couldn't heal, so they had a fissurectomy (no mention of LIS, though, oddly). They said recovery was the worst two weeks of their life having to use the bathroom. : ( So, yeah... that didn't sit well with me. I know it will be painful, but that freaked me out. God, I hope it won't be that bad for me. : ( My pain right now is bad, but not that bad, so possibly going from the frying pan into the fire in order to heal fully terrifies me. But I have no other way out of this. : ( This all sucks so much.

Trying to think positive, though, despite that. I probably shouldn't be reading negative stories like that (although he did say he healed fully and never go the problem again), but I just happened to come across it. I will just try my best to think good thoughts and read more success stories on the forum to occupy my mind.
January 2013 - Diagnosed with fissure. Eventually turned chronic.
History of IBS and anxiety disorder, along with fear of using bathrooms other than my own caused it.
Tried Diltiazem, but eventually developed a rash.
LIS surgery scheduled August 26th.
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Luka
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Re: My LIS/fissurectomy diary

Postby Mypoorbutt » 23 Aug 2016, 12:05

Hi luka,
All I can say is I was super stressed about Botox because of some horror stories I read online...not here...I was so worried that the fissurotomy would make it worse but my surgeon guaranteed that would not happen...the worse that can happen is the pain stays the same, and your also having LIS which will stop the spasms quicker than Botox.
Try not to worry I know it's so hard but I panicked so much I ended up going way too much the few days before and after the op.
I know I will worry when I have the LIS but I will trust my surgeon this time as the pain from the fissurotomy wasn't as bad as a full on spasm.
Just try and believe that they know what they are doing and unfortunately horror stories probably have a complicated past they don't go into.
Look how many on here have healed thanx to LIS....I'm desperate to have it would have it tomorrow if I could lol
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