SAV! How are you? How long have you been healed?

So, I’ve been using the rectogesic for around 3 weeks now. This week I’ve had a few better days mixed in with a few nasty days. I’m seeing the consultant on Tuesday.

OMB x

After the consultants appointment I have been in worse pain. It hurt when he parted my cheeks to look, and I feel like I’m back to square one.

He did say that it was still acute, and that it looked like it was starting to heal.
I’m to stick with the rectogesic for another few weeks, if still no improvement he will have me in for an EUA.

I’m really really struggling with my anxiety this time.... the thought of just another day with this pain is sending me into panic mode, let alone months, or even years....

OMB

Hey OMB I’m so sorry, I’ve avoided my crs for that exact reason, they’re obsessed with proctoscopes and finger exams!! In my job I take an accurate verbal history before jumping into any interventional tests.

I had pizza last night and the restaurant accidentally put a very spicy chilli on a slice which I didn’t see. ended up swallowing it and this morning I’ve been stuck on the loo (ring of fire song comes to mind) and it just feels on fire back there I was crying each time.

Out of interest have you ever tried basic sudocrem? It’s an antiseptic nappy rash that I’ve just started today out of desperation, it’s soothed everything down and although I’m sore it’s stopped the burning...

I know how psychologically traumatic all this is and over the last 6 years I’ve been close to doing something I would regret later. No one understands how debilitating it is... other than you and others here. Your mr second family and without your support I’m not sure I’d still be here.

Reach out to us, keep talking, keep drinking water and hold your head high. I’ll pray for us both tonight I really hope you get some relief soon...

Ff x

Good luck to you both, I wish you get rid of this pain so you can write again sunny words on this forum.

Yes, FF... it was awful..... it felt like he was tearing my bum hole apart! He used to be so gentle. I think because the fissure is internal he had to get a good look for a correct diagnosis.

I’m so tearful every day... I completely understand when you say you have been in a very dark place with very dark thoughts, they have been flitting into my mind to be honest.

I’m so sorry about the chilli.... how excruciating for you... I’m glad the sudocream is helping. Yes, I use it from time to time but sometimes it makes me sore... it’s quite strong stuff.

Thank you for your kind encouragement... it means a lot when things seem so bleak.


Thank you Abu...you’re a sweetheart x

So I’m still suffering from the examination. I feel extra sore...... rectogesic is back to stinging the fissure. I’m struggling to see an end to this hell.
My ibs has flared up with all the stress. Multiple watery bms a day... not helping me.

I HATE THIS!

Hey OMB, I know you are struggling with this ever since you got that re-tear. Watery BMs are definitely a no-no since they burn so much.
Do you still take anything to loose them up? Also, did you try to use vaseline just before BMs so that it doesn;t burn the area so much?
Take care and write here if you need any advice.

Abu,

Yes, I take movicol... but I dare not take it as I can swing to constipation very easily.
I have used Vaseline for years... even when I was better I still used it ...

I think my main problem this time is my anxiety. I have been very anxious and tearful. I have upped my anxiety meds, but I’m still panicking about it all the time.

I don’t think anyone who has never suffered a fissure would quite understand just what a mental toll the fissure and all in entails has on a person.

Xxx

Totally understand you. Losing confidence in our ability to heal only prolongs the suffering. And this constipation can have so many causes...
I am sending you best wishes and courage to face these dark hours. Wish I could hold your hand.

Thank you Abu..... you are a very kind compassionate man. I have read the supportive replies you give. The board is very lucky to have you xxxxxx