my diary

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Re: my diary

Postby hoonoo » 24 Feb 2014, 10:18

Hi Leane, I can totally relate to how you are feeling right now! I miss the days when I didn't have this issue, but am trying to stay positive however possible. Before I had surgery on Friday, I had constant discharge from an abscess, but not a lot of pain, so it didn't bother me too much. Now that I'm healing from the surgery, there is both pain and discharge. Nothing I can do about it other than drink water, keep soft stools, sitz bath/shower, and not sit. Has your crs mentioned surgery? I hope the nifedipine ointment starts working soon... I had to take it for almost 3 weeks before it worked for me. Hang in there, Leane!
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Re: my diary

Postby leanne27 » 25 Feb 2014, 06:33

I had a glimmer of hope today as there was minimal discharge overnight. Then after lunch the throbbing aching pain just started to get deeper and then unfortunately the discharge reappeared. One thing is that the pain reduced with this so I am guessing it is an abscess, so I would say as unfortunate as the discharge is it is reducing pain from a build up.
Am 4 weeks into the ongoing discharge, 3 weeks with the cream and 3 weeks on antibiotics.
No mention of surgery, he will examine me under general anaesthesia if I am not 100% better in 2 weeks. That means no good and bad days, only good days. Still hope I guess, a lot could happen in 2 weeks!
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Re: my diary

Postby leanne27 » 26 Feb 2014, 06:08

not a good day. Had to give a presentation at work today to my colleagues, the pain was awful, I thought it wouldn't be so bad as I was standing but there was a sit down meeting for two hours prior to my one hour presentation. I started to sweat and get the shakes towards the end I was so uncomfortable. Ongoing discharge, just want the bloody thing to stop!

Have to be patient but this is affecting the way I live my life and I really resent it. I am also not in control at all, even though I am doing everything I can, it's just not working. Now seriously considering time off work as I really do feel that I get worse at work and improve on a weekend.

Perhaps I'll "luck out" and tomorrow will be a good day.
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Re: my diary

Postby Scientist2516 » 26 Feb 2014, 10:07

I'm sorry, Leanne, that sounds so difficult. I know how it affects your life - it consumed my life for weeks. I got pretty desperate! I'm sorry you are right in the middle of it just now. Taking some time off sounds like a good idea if you can manage it.
Try not to get too down. Can you treat yourself after work, like listen to music, lie down to watch a movie, have a relaxing bath (so good for your sphincter!)? Do anything that takes your mind off this misery.
It's great that you are writing here, where people know what you are going through. Hang in there, take care of yourself. It will be over one day.
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Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: my diary

Postby Savaici » 26 Feb 2014, 13:03

Leanne, sadly if it is an abscess, it won't heal on it's own, and may also develop into a fistula (you may already know this, so sorry if I'm reinventing the wheel here). If it gets worse, you would be better to see your doctor.

Sorry you are in pain. No fun.
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Re: my diary

Postby leanne27 » 27 Feb 2014, 03:17

Odd day, but overall good I think. Got excited that by lunch time there was only very minimal discharge. Got enthused and decided to try to do a faster than usual walk around work. Mistake, went to the toilet to find that the tap had started up again! Not bad pain though!

Then a few hours ago I decided to do a squeeze which sent an absolute jolt of deep pain through me. Only a few twinges immediately after that and now I am feeling quite good! I am encouraged, but cautiously so as I know how quickly the tables turn.

I am happy that I notice when the issue is not a nightmare that I have that motivation to actually do something, that this hasn't brought me right down even when the symptoms are good.

I have put on so much weight over the past 6 months as most forms of activity cause me major issues and I find I can manage the pain when I am on my recliner lounge and not moving. Because I feel so crappy I eat to self medicate, which only makes me feel even worse about myself.
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Re: my diary

Postby Scientist2516 » 27 Feb 2014, 13:12

Leanne, I put on weight too. Once my fissure got better and I started doing my normal stuff again, it came off again pretty quickly. But like you, the extra weight lowered my self esteem, and I started to think of myself as an invalid, not an otherwise-healthy person battling a fissure. The fissure makes normal walking and activities so painful it takes over your life, doesn't it!

I don't have the answer. "Eat less" is easy to say, but hard to do, when so few other activities feel good. Just know that when you feel better, you should be able to lose the weight. I'm 50, an age when metabolism decreases and it's harder to keep trim, and yet the weight came off. Hopefully it will for you too.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: my diary

Postby leanne27 » 27 Feb 2014, 15:03

good to know I'm not the only one gaining, lots of others seemed to be losing. We're around the same age, I'm turning 49 this year. It jusy doesn't help in any way, I also get really angry at myself when I am over eating, so it's a viscous cycle.

I've woken up with a good bum with no leakage so I'm feeling positive! I know my eak problem time is after lunch, but who knows today will be a good one!
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Re: my diary

Postby Scientist2516 » 27 Feb 2014, 15:08

Here's hoping!
:huggies:
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: my diary

Postby leanne27 » 28 Feb 2014, 18:11

Feeling good! Only small discharge yesterday so perhaps this infection/?abscess is going away with the antibiotics. I really hope so.
Minimal pain, feeling a "buzzing" feeling down there which I am concluding is healing. No bowel motion yesterday so this will be helping. Was passing wind last night with no searing pain, it became fun again!
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