by Scientist2516 » 08 Apr 2014, 22:51
Hi Milo,
I'm sorry you've had a really rough time. It's so sad that you talk about dying. Please please take care of yourself, and don't give up. This forum is to help people like you. It helped me, and I hope you will find some support and answers here.
This disease is particularly hard on gay men - you are definitely not alone on this forum.
Have you seen a specialist colorectal surgeon? If you keep re-tearing all the time, you may have a high anal resting pressure, and nothing will work except LIS. Mind you, I am not a doctor, and obviously I don't know about your case, but there are some studies showing that people with a high anal resting pressure do not heal well with creams and ointments, and probably need surgery.
I know surgery is very scary. However, it does have a high success rate. Many people here have had LIS and healed completely. Some have had LIS and had problems, but they are a minority. The people who heal tend to stop posting here after a while, while those with problems keep posting - so it looks as if problems are common after LIS. But the scientific studies and statistics show otherwise.
At least try to see a surgeon and get an opinion. You don't deserve to have a sad life. You deserve to be happy. Maybe you can't have your usual sex life for a long time, but that doesn't mean no sex - it just means finding different ways. A kind, unselfish boyfriend will work with you and find ways for you to enjoy each other without anal sex.
Take care, and look after yourself.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!