Hello,
Well, I’ve been working really hard to get my stools right…but I still managed to F it up and here I am. The somewhat larger than normal stool got ‘stuck’, and had to move through an opening too narrow. Torn again. Searing pain and blood upon defacation, but thankfully relatively beningn/unfelt during the daytime.
I’ve had three separate issues of chronic anal fissures—the first time 3 ½ years ago, was resolved within a few weeks with medications; the second, resolved within a week on its own; the third (current), has been on-and-off for the past year and a half.
I’ve been on Miralax for the past 9 months, and I don’t want to continue. I know that Miralax is supposedly safe and can be taken for the rest of your life, but I just can’t believe that. I don’t see long-term use of Miralax as a solution. And, anyway, it isn’t exactly a 100% solution for me either.
At this point, I am considering both Botox and LIS. I don’t have ‘spasms’ as many describe, but the sphincter is just chronically tight it seems. I am hesitant to do botox, since its effects wear off and I am trying to resolve the muscular problem more than the fissure itself.
The problem is that I cannot hold my current job and undergo either procedure (I think). I have to be able to swim and wade through rivers and natural pools. I don’t see how I can do that with the risk of infection. I love this job, don’t want to leave on bad terms, and the job only lasts a few months. If I pursue botox/LIS, I am moving back in with the parents.
I am afraid to postpone treatment of the muscular tension. Trying to heal has already consumed my life for the past several months. I can’t have this be a lifelong daily struggle…
So here is what I am debating:
a) increase the pharmaceuticals (which scare me) and get through the season (which will make me happy)
b) abandon the job, seek treatment immediately (which will be reassuring), and move back in with my parents (which will be depressing)
c) the magical third way, or, somehow get adequate treatment (reassuring) AND keep the job (happy)
Any ideas, folks? I could really, really use some advice right now.
Isn’t it unfortunate that I seem to be deciding between psychological health and physical health? They are interrelated after all, and neither realistic scenarios provide both.