Hi

Thought I would write a diary, like a lot of people on here have realised there is only so much that partners, friends and families can stand listening to about one's bottom I just need to get the daily stresses off my chest.

A bit of background.....
I developed an AF postpartum PP, not during labour but a few weeks after, I am trying to work out in my head at the moment what has caused it. Some say it is hormones, that the drop in estrogen causes the skin to thin which has already been put through a lot of stress during pregnancy and labour. I remember that straight after giving birth to my son I had the best hair and skin of my life. I thought that it was due to all the nutrients finally going to me rather than him in the womb but perhaps it was hormonal as estrogen is related to hair and skin health. Now my hair and skin has gone bad again and in fact I am at the PP loosing hair stage, does this mean that my estrogen levels have dropped right off? I am breast feeding and considering giving it up, a sad and very difficult decision to make but the AF has affected my sex life and I am nervous that if I don't heal soon that the AF will affect future pregnancies due to too much scar tissue.

Wish I could do a PhD on AF's and pregnancies.

My current status.....
I bleed with every BM and have a sharp pain as I feel it tear but the pain usually dissipates to a niggle during the day once I have applied GTN and sat on the warm wheat bag for half and hour. I've been at this stage for some time now, had a few days of not bleeding with very loose BM's but overall it has been months of this status. I've stopped walking as I feel it rubbing but wondering if the exercise is better than not exercising and perhaps I could put some vaseline on first, what are others experience with exercise, good or bad?

Thanks for reading, thank goodness for this site, how did people survive without forums!

Hi hopeful.... Welcome to the diaries!

Walking is good for blood flow... So don't stop doing that, just don't walk so far. Could you ask your dr for a barrier cream instead of Vaseline? Just a tiny smear will help with rubbing. I too get that rubbing where my most recent fissure was more on the outside. It's very frustrating... Especially when things get moist down there!

I hope things heal up quickly for you, and you can enjoy your baby without a painful bottom! Xxxxxx

Thanks owmybum, I have terrible circulation at the best of times, always cold feet and hands. Will try a wee walk tomorrow to the pharmacy for a barrier cream.

ps. I'm not sure how to thank through the forum for it to appear on the left under people's usernames

I have terrible circulation too! (have blue feet and hands most the time!) I asked my CRS if this lack of blood flow would impede healing from my AF and he actually consideres it to be a viable reason that my healing has been delayed.

I found Manuka Honey of great use when I needed a barrier when walking and OMB is right - when things get too moist down there it can result in friable skin and a horrible painful rash.

The best cream I've used in all of this is simple sudocrem - it's so cold and soothing (designed for babys bums so must be good!) I feel I'm getting better month by month but I fully sympethise with the walking tugging pain you describe - I get that a lot.

big hugs

FF

Ugh today I've done my usual normal BM in the morning and then two small ones in the afternoon/evening. I don't know why I need to do the small BM's, it just aggravates my bottom and is very painful even though they don't seem to bleed, everyday I do at least one small one. So annoying.

Thanks FF for the tip, do you use straight Manuka Honey? I've been eating Manuka Honey in the hopes that it is doing something helpful but I think its more because it tastes good. I wonder what else we can do to improve the circulation, it makes sense that it would impede the healing. Winters coming here which doesn't bode well, will crank the heater. Glad to hear you are getting better :)

Well that's funny because I have very poor circulation in my feet and hands too. My feet go blue if I cross my legs when I sit down. My hands go numb in the cold and I get pins and needles for ages after. Hmmmm there must be a correlation?

Hopefull.... Is the manuka honey a recent thing?? When I took it orally I noticed I needed 2 bms in the day instead of my usual one.

OMB x

Gosh perhaps we should have a poll on overall body circulation of forum users, can anyone set those up?

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure how long I've had small annoying BM's. I will try a few days of no honey to see if it helps, thanks OMB. I did wonder if it was the homemade yoghurt I've been having which is high in bacteria, will cut the honey and then cut the yoghurt if that doesn't help.

I've decided to do my own dilation, when I have loose BM's I get concerned that the scar tissue is not stretching enough. I have been applying ointments using my little finger for the last couple of months, prior to that I used an applicator. Today I started using the ring finger, was OK, will try using that for a month and then move onto the pointy finger all going well.

Today is a good day, so far no blood with the stools that I could see and not the full on stretching/tearing pain I usually get with a BM.
I think it might be because I have been busy doing a couple of social things and so relaxed a bit rather than focusing on the niggly feeling that there is gravel up my bottom. I feel like I have a little bit of my life back. I moved to a new town just before having my baby and so have been trying to meet new people and settle into a new town on top of learning to be a mum and learning to manage my AF.

Another thing exciting for me is that I had sushi for lunch, I usually have a protein shake in oat milk and a fruit smoothie so is a lovely change, albeit I'm nervous about the change in my stools but will hopefully be OK.

I think using the ring finger is helping also, as my little finger couldn't quite reach the length of the AF, now when I apply sudocrem and rectogesic - GTN I am getting it to where it needs to be. I've upped the number of Sudocrem and coconut oil applications each day/night. Another thing I am trying to do is to get to the toilet as soon as I feel the urge, at the very first hint so I have time to slowly relax the sphincter. I read up again on how the anus works and it was good to have the visual in my head of what a 'normal' BM should be like, what my pelvic floor should be doing and so that I don't clench part way through.

I don't want to get my hopes up too much as I have been here before.

This is great news! I have also been having better days and link it to being calmer about it all... I think sudocrem is fan and also started using calendula cream, which I remember using after my eldest was born...Keep going, 5 months seems to be standard healing time for these things...

Thanks Felix, glad to hear you have been having better days, your words of being calmer just reminded me to breathe. Is the Calendula Cream the Weleda brand? I have some of that for bubs, it's great on him, how is it going for you?

This morning the stinging wont stop, not sure why, was quite loose and bulky. Ate a chicken wing last night, yum, I love chicken wings, plus a prune to be on the safe side. Have bled since my last post with each BM. I can't wait to stop bleeding and being in pain, nowadays it's not bright red blood so not sure what that means.

I finally have an appt with a surgeon next week, thankfully my dad said he would pay for me to go to a private surgeon. It is only a general surgeon though as there are no CRS's within a 2 hour drive from where I am. Not sure if it is a mistake to go to a general one or not. I asked my DR to refer me to the public health system specialist but she said that they probably wouldn't get in touch as it is not urgent enough. I then found out that she hadn't even bothered putting the referral in. I read on an old post here of a lady in NZ that she too had the same problem and that you need to go to a private surgeon who will then lodge the surgery publicly so that it doesn't cost, that's how it is for hernias, hemmies and fissures apparently, although that process is slightly below board.

Bought some lansinoh to try, it was great for breastfeeding so hoping it will be ok on the AF. I have had eczema on a couple of fingers which I tried to treat with hydrochortisol. The skin went thin and a fissure developed on my finger! Well now I know what all that hydrochortisol ointment and suppositories have done to my anus. I have used the finger fissure to test out different ointments effectiveness for healing/moisturising. The Sudocrem made it heal in a few days but after a while it ceased to help, the fissure had closed and was not stinging anymore but the finger was getting quite dry still. So then I tried coconut oil but that melted away too quickly , I tried Vaseline which was better than coconut oil but still didn't moisten enough. I am now testing out lansinoh, lanolin oil, and my fingers almost looks like healthy skin again. Perhaps because it is so sticky. Will try a few days of lansinoh instead of coconut oil, hopefully if it is so sticky I won't have to apply so often and therefore give the area more of a rest.