Well here's another update...
It was hurting to drive yesterday, I also had 3 BM and each one was uncomfortable! Pain level id say was only about a 1-2..(I prefer to go back to zero!) ... Well I used ice for 10-15 min yesterday and also took 20min sitz baths after my BM (so a total of 3)...I applied some coconut oil for soothing, but then I was also having itches so I applied some desitin which relieved the itching. Then I applied a small amount of my nifedipine. I am able to walk around, I don't have the horrible pain like the spasm feelings (thank god!!) but this morning, I had to slightly push to prompt my BM to come out. It did hurt alittle and When I looked in the toilet before flushing, I saw bright red blood. Then I dabbed myself with a baby wipe and there was a good amount of blood. Now I'm curious if this is having to do with the fissure, or if it's my hemorrhoids. I cleaned myself with tucks pads (too early right now for me to take a sitz bath.) I feel "weird" down there, I guess more like uncomfortable... I wish I knew what the pain and the bleeding was from. It gets confusing when you are suffering from both and aren't sure which one is causing the problem, if not both! Ugh I just continue to wish I never had these issues.. I want to go back to feeling normal again :'( today I guess I'd say is my "bad day"... I hope tomorrow I feel better.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you too.

Hello! Leaving my update for today. So I had my set backs and wasn't sure if pain was fissure or hemmie related. Either way, I did my best to treat my symptoms and relaxed as much as possible. Took about a week and I am feeling better. I'm still taking miralax (I'm too afraid to stop taking it) but I have no pain when going to the bathroom. I've also come to the conclusion that my fear of having to go to the bathroom has now almost become a phobia. :/ I start work on Monday. It's a lot of standing, Hopefully I'm ok.

So here's the latest...
Today was my 3rd day at work. I do A LOT of standing and so my external hemorrhoids are bothering me more. I put an ice pack when I got home. I also placed a tucks pad to clean & soothe the area. when I do get to sit at work, the chairs are hard. I have a lot of coworkers so I'm trying to be very discreet about my issues. I'm not sure if I should use prepH, or if it's bad because it thins your skin. There's this website called earth clinic and it says 85 people claim that apple cider vinager helped cure or at least temporarily heal their hemorrhoid flair ups. I am afraid to try it since it's so acidic. But I feel kind of desperate to find out... I wish I didn't have to work so that I could take some sitz baths a couple times a day. I read somewhere that if you crush up garlic and apply the juice of it on your external hemmies, that it will burn but it will make you feel so much better... Well I tried it and yes it burnt..it burned a lot and the next day I felt worse!! Such a bad call on my part! Anyway..I'm ranting because I'm sleep deprived from working and staying up all night attending to my baby. (Oh the joys of motherhood). I don't want to have surgery of any kind.. I just want this to go away. I sway from my diet a couple times... Like yesterday I had a slice of pepperoni pizza (I wonder if that caused my flair up) I hope not because I love pizza and I hardly eat it anymore. My hormones are changing and so I wonder if that is any concern for my hemmie problem. (My hair is falling out, I'm getting bad acne all over my face) i really hope I don't start menstrating. I've been reading how that can cause quite a bit of problems in the anal area during that time. Anyway thanks for reading. Any comments/ suggestions are always welcome

Wow, your doing really well to be working and being a mother to an infant let alone dealing with postpartum anal issues. I love pizza too, oh how I miss it. I'm at the loosing hair terrible skin phase, from what I've read it doesn't neccessary mean an impending menstruation so fingers crossed.

Hi here's another update...sooo... Yesterday I did my morning ritual BM and it hurt. I haven't had a painful BM in quite some time. My second BM later in the night was painful too and again this morning
I'm very disappointed since I'm back at work and can't take care of myself well like I normally would. I saw just a small spot of blood when I "wiped" with the wet toilet paper. I'm feeling discouraged. Does this mean Its turning into a chronic fissure since it is acting up after 4 months??

And just to add... Now I'm at work..standing up. I feel so sore in my rectal area. Very uncomfortable and it hurts to be standing and walking around....and my shift just started! This morning I had a meeting. We are looking at an 11 hour day.

Ok now I'm just feeling confused. It does hurt to sit whether I'm driving of sitting down for lunch, and it even hurts to stand. I took a mirror to see if I could see the fissure, but what it looks like to me is a bunch of external hemmies I am not sure if it's just the hemmies or the fissure also. In so confused. I just don't want this pain anymore. I came home from work early today so I could take more sitz baths. Besides feeling sore, I don't really feel that spasming pain. Oh I've also noticed that when I used my coconut oil suppository, usually I feel sooo much better, but I actually feel a burning sensation around my anus. Sorry I ramble. This "diary" is my place to think out loud so that other people don't have to hear me talk about it. Anyway... I really hope I feel better like I did! I'm never skipping a dose of miralax again!!

Wow I am Beyond frustrated...I just wrote my post and accidentally hit the X on the web page and it deleted everything I just wrote... Anyway to quickly re write, since I'm just so emotional now... My hemmies have become pretty bad since returning to work. I finally decided I'd try apple cider vinegar (which many different websites claim it's a great cure)... Well, I did this for 2 days using a Cotten ball and leaving it there for 30-40 min. The first day I felt great, the second day I tried it... Well this morning, let's just say my bum looks like someone else's and not my own!! I had my morning BM and took a warm sitz bath since it did kind of hurt. Then I looked at myself using a mirror and to my horror I saw all my hemmies and TWO lacerations!! I have a pretty big open cut/wound on I think the 6 O'clock position (back of my anus towards my back.) and the other one is on my left side of my anus, and it's cut in the middle. (This one on the side is smaller)... I haven't actually physically seen a fissure on my bum until now and let me tell you, I panicked!! I started crying and called the doctor to make an appt. to add on to my devastation, there's no avail appts until September!! I am just going to continue with coconut oil, hot and cold compress, sitz baths... Ugh why oh why did I change my routine??? The cut at the back of my anus, I feel like it's huge! It looks like an open sore but it's hard to tell how deep. It looks almost like a burn hole (which was probably caused by the ACV) . I wish I could see a doctor today. I'm having lots of anxiety now. At least I am not in horrible pain while pooping like I was 3 months ago. Since these are new cuts, or fissures, whatever they are.. I hope I can heal them quickly.

Oh Suffering Badly I am so sorry to hear of this!
Would there be any way for you to get some time of from work to help with your healing? I, too, have followed advise on the internet about things to do for hemmies and had things get worse. There is a lot of strange info out there. I once read about putting a potato wedge inside! Weird! You will heal again, probably quite quickly too. Try not to worry too much. Things will be okay. This is all temporary stuff. Try not to beat yourself up too. Life happens, things change and sometimes it's for the better and sometimes it' for the worse. Hang in there.

Just as a note, the only thing I ever trusted on my external hemmies was witch hazel, oh and zinc diaper cream (very soothing). Witch hazel is a powerful astringent and can take the swelling down. Even it could irritate my delicate skin when I used it too frequently and I sometimes would use it at half strength (diluted with water) but would leave it there to soak for up to 30 minutes. It certainly would never burn a hole down there but I suspect you won't want to put anything down there for a while now. Just for future reference, I suppose. I really dislike apple cider vinegar (probably not as much as you now though) in general.

I still believe the best healer is heat, however you can get it...hot water bottle, heating pad, bath, sitz bath. Do you have to work on the weekend or will you be able to get some good rest and relaxation in?

Does your Doctor have a cancellation list you could get on?