I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time of it. Hang on in there!

I'm so sorry to hear you have had a bad day. Huge hugs!! There just seems to never be an end, but there is. Keep your head up this is truly a rolleroaster and I pray you have some relief soon x

Hi Sufferingbadly, I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. It's so discouraging to see and hear about people starting to get better before it gets worse again. It's like a never-ending cycle, and I truly empathize with you and feel your pain. For me, the anxiety before a BM is truly a killer!! I see that you've been using Nifedipine, has it worked well in your opinion? I have found that using vaseline before a BM somewhat helps as it lubricates for the pain. Best of luck to you!

Thank you OMB & FF

SD, yes I do feel as though the nifedipine has helped.

todays Update: I got a truly helpful tip from MSIMON about using a heating pad. I used the heating pad twice during the night for about 20minutes each time. Yesterday I had to take a 3 hour drive to a family birthday party and I had already had my morning BM. (Slight pain but no where as bad as the night before.) I have outlet plugs in my car and so I brought the heating pad with me and used it every half hour during the drive. LIFESAVER!! This morning I used Vaseline before having a BM and I could definitely feel possibly scar tissue inside, but there was no pain. And when defecating, there was no pain! Yay! I think a combo of Epsom salt sitz baths and the use of the heating pad really helped me to feel better quickly. I still am taking my miralax nightly, and I will NOT forget to drink enough water daily to maintain a soft BM.
I am feeling happy today. I turn to this forum when I am in pain because you all understand and everyone else in my life says "oh well you'll be fine"... Thanks again for the hugs and well wishes everyone! Hopefully I won't be updating another episode ANY time soon!!!!

Update & I just need to vent.
I was feeling good 3 days after my horrible retear, and now it's happened again... This time though, it is another fissure. my first one is towards my vagina in the 1oclock positing( cannot see this one at all) ..and the other one is at the 6oclock position closest to my spine (the 6oclock one I can actually see when I look in a mirror) That one is throbbing and super uncomfortable. The other day I have a BM that wasn't really even hard, just "harder" than normal.. Anyway it felt weird and then I saw streaks of blood on my stool
I have nifedipine ointment but I smelled it today and it has an Odor so I think I need to call and get a new one prescribed to me. Ugh. Sometimes I just want to have the surgery done so that I don't have to take miralax everyday, and don't have to worry about putting my feet up when going to the bathroom, or wipe with wet toilet paper, watch what I'm eating. It gets pretty frustrating with the mix of every day life. But then I know the surgery would be way worse as far as recovery and everything. The main thing that scares me is that I HAVE to get a colonoscopy done since Colon cancer runs I. My family, but I'm deathly afraid of the diarrhea I will get from drinking the thing they make you drink, and also when they probe you. What if I tear more, or worse?! Ugh my stomach hurts when I think about it.

Hi I have just been reading your thread...wow..I can completely understand how you are feeling etc You need so much TLC right now and lots of hugs! So here is a special hug for you!

Feel better soon!

Hi SB,

I 100% understand the frustration of having to take miralax everyday, putting your feet up, wiping with wet paper, sitz baths, watching your diet etc...it's ALOT of work and totally interferes with just carrying on a normal life not revolved around these things and schedules. I'm struggling with that as well.

Do you know what caused another fissure? Did you do anything different recently to have caused the harder stool? Maybe something you ate or...?

You are strong and you will get through this. Hang in there and I truly hope you feel better soon.

Update!

It's been a couple months since I've posted..(I was hoping I wouldn't be back here). In December I had an uncomfortable BM but I don't think it was a re-tear. This month I've also already had two harder than usual BM's and both times it made me very sore afterwards, but no throbbing or bleeding, so not sure if this is just part of the healing process or if I'm legitimately hurting myself. (I got the stomach flu and it gave me severe diarrhea so I stopped taking the miralax for a week, when the diarrhea stopped, I was still having stomach pain, so I had to risk not taking the miralax while I had the stomach pains) now I'm back on the miralax nightly but I think my body is still catching up. Oh, here's a great update for those of you who've read my whole diary,,,, ontop of everything with me and this fissure, my baby who was 1 month old when I found this forum, she is now 10 months and we have been dealing with a severe case of eczema. She is one of the worst cases and doctors don't know how to help her. We've seen allergists, dermatologists, everyone! If tight anal sphincter causes fissures from healing, no wonder I'm still suffering!! I am stressed out basically every day dealing with a super itchy crying baby. Anyway, that's my vent for the night.
Oh and I'll admit, I definitely don't drink enough water lately, also, because of my baby's situation, I can't take nice hot relaxing baths very often (which helped a lot before). I think I'll do the heating pad tonight though. Thanks for reading. Bye for now!

Sorry to hear you've had a bit of pain lately and on top of that are trying to support and cope with an upset baby. It's often one thing after another with a baby ah. Hope you have been able to up the water drinking.
How are you coping now?

Hopefull,

A couple days later after posting, I started bleeding and throbbing but it didn't feel like the classic "broken glass" feel. THANKFULLY!!! Anyway, the pain lasted about 4-5 days and then subsided. I've stayed on the miralax, am drinking more water and I think the heating pad helped along with some desitin. How about you? Is everything good with your condition? Still having pains?