Hopeful...sending you a virtual hug. So sorry to hear that you had a set back -- I know how discouraging those can be and how scary it can be. Unfortunately this sort of thing happened to me a bunch of times....
A couple thoughts come to my mind...#1, you were not wrong or at fault for living it up a little. In fact, I personally think it is important to inject a little carefree attitude in to your life from time to time -- so please dont blame yourself for this...for all you know this would have happened to you if you were on a diet of applesauce and prunes every day. #2...you healed pretty well once, you can do it again!! Your body has already proven it is pretty strong and resilient so dont give up on yourself quite yet -- you may surprise yourself. As for looking at the surgical option -- why not. If you are at a stage where this is taking over your life and you find a really good qualified surgeon then that option should definitely be explored. I have read of a bunch of very positive and encouraging recoveries from surgery...
As for being sore due to the butt plug thing....give yourself a few days to feel a bit better after the pop before you play around down there...personally i would sit on heat as much as possible and just take it easy. Once the soreness and rawness dissipate then experiment with the plug -- just my opinion.
Wishing you a better day each day,
Canadabum