I've been suffering from an AF since September 2015...so about 7 months now. It's been really rough as you all must know - completely changed my overall quality of life. I was on Nifedipine and Miralax for 13 weeks and things seemed to be looking up. I was able to have a BM without pain. I slowly weaned myself off the Nifedipine and then finally the Miralax, but after a month the sharp pain came back with a little bit of blood and continuous feelings of stretching during a BM. This is when I realized this little sucker's not gonna heal on its own and it has completely crushed my spirits coming to terms with that. I am mentally drained, fed up, angry, depressed, suffering from panic attacks again and it's really put a hold on my life! My life revolves around my fear of this...my life revolves around glorifying the happier days pre-AF. I never realized something like this could happen and change my life in an instant. It's really taught me not to take life for granted at any moment and I wish I could just be given the chance to have my life back

Anyways, I went to see a new CRS a few days ago. He said he wanted to do a colonoscopy first just to rule out everything else, which I have scheduled for next week. I am scared about the prep and of course the procedure making the AF worse, especially since right now I am back on the Nifedipine and Miralax and am not in much pain.
BTW, when my fissure returned, I did not/do not have the same spasms as I did the first time around. It hurts to go and I can feel a cut/sharp sting/stretching. However, after I wash up using my Tuck Pads and warm water, I do not have any spasms or pain throughout the day. Sometimes I can feel the cut if I move a weird way, but otherwise no pain after the BM movement. Like I said, I jumped right back on Nifedipine and 1/2 dose of Miralax. I am grateful for this but hate that this is always something I will have to worry about and deal with. Really don't want to be on Miralax long term. I haven't even been able to exercise due to fear of the fissure acting up as well.
So with that said, I am strongly considering LIS surgery. The CRS I saw could not even complete a digital rectal exam the other day because I was so tight and crying from pain when he tried. I felt that he was a little rough and that annoyed me but he has good reviews and was also recommended by my PCP so I am trying to have faith because he is already my 4th gastro/CRS. He seemed a little hesitant about the surgery and said that he wants to do the colonoscopy first and then come up with a plan of what to do. He did seem to have some reservations because I am a woman (27 yrs old) and haven't had kids yet...Told him I don't have spasms, just cutting pain during BMs. He says he sees one or two fissures? But says i'm extremely tight.
He says he performs about 20-30 LIS surgeries in a year, but says he has done hundreds of them. Is that enough? What do you guys think?
My top concerns:
1.) Will this affect me having children and cause me any issues afterwards? This has derailed my plans of starting a family and is making me very sad. Trying really hard not to overthink it.
2.) Incontinence
3.) Infections
4.) Going through all this pain just to have surgery not work...
I have also heard about the Dr. Feingold's Kenalog procedure and was thinking of going for that since I'm in the area. But the Kenalog steroid injection seems to cause menstrual irregularities in women and that terrifies me.
Please...any advice and input would be much appreciated. Sorry for the jumbled post..!!
Thanks so much. No one knows about this except you guys, my CRS, and my dear husband who has been a trooper. Holding me and calming me when i am on the verge of a mental breakdown and always having to hear me talk about my butt issues. Its made us ALOT closer....lol...but at the same time I really don't want to burden him. He says he won't let this break us, but I feel incredibly guilty that he has to go through this with me when he has a perfectly healthy butt!! I don't know what I'd do without him. I just want to be able to move on with my life. I want to be able to go out and enjoy things without having this constantly be in the back of my mind. It wears on you so much...I'm sure you all know.
Thanks guys....
