My recent story

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Re: My recent story

Postby Worstyear » 15 Dec 2021, 07:19

Two days later update: havent seen blood again. Probably was something I eat or some hemmies that i am not aware of. I still dont have any fissure pain. Gonna check with the doc in a month. I still dont understand why the hell i had a sudden recovery while traveling...
Worstyear
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Re: My recent story

Postby Worstyear » 24 Dec 2021, 07:49

Back at home and back to pain.
I came back from my trip yesterday and I felt the stinging while bms. Not as bad as I used to but made me feel awareness the entire day. I used nitro and then took valium and a painkiller just to be safe while on the plain. No difference, still felt the awareness but it wasnt painful.
I dont know if i should use the nitro or not. I used it some days in the morning but not everyday.
Today I went without pain but I'm already feeling the swelling and praying to not develop spasms. I often know 15' after and it seems to be just the awareness again. It's not pain, it is like... you have something there, swollen.
Yesterday i felt a little itching at night. I still dont have blood or anything.

What I really hate about all of this is the unpredictable nature of the spasms. Why did they stop and why they came back?
I was so sure of lis, had my mind completly focused and convinced to do it and now im in doubt just because i had this last 20 pain free days on which i did absolutely no diet or anything. I ate cheese, meat, everything i havent touched for the last 5 months. I had alcohol, caffeine, i didnt care. Just took my 3/4 miralax and water and everything was ok.

I believe this week is hard because im waiting for my period and it is taking longer than normal to appear. I just dont know anymore.
Anyway, I would really like to relax and let it be, but i cant. I was so happy and scared. Feeling normal again was a blessing. And now im so anxious and waiting to pain. I cried from frustration. I repeat myself that i might be healing, that recovery is not linear, but i cant help to feel unstable and sad.
This situation is really depressing.
I'll keep you updated after my crs appointment on january.

I hope that you all have a pain free christmas and enjoy it. Thanks again for your support. This forum has been really important for me.
Worstyear
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Re: My recent story

Postby Worstyear » 08 Jan 2022, 08:12

Ok well things changed AGAIN.
I experienced the regular pain I used to (and i was going twice in the mornings) until new year.
Then again, sudden recovery. No more pain.
I still don't have any pain. It is gone.
I don't want to get too excited by this because now i can see clearly that what happened is a retear that healed again within a week. Probably the tissue finally formed.
I am not using anything else than miralax. I need to get an appointment with my crs. I want to hear his opinion.
I hope you are doing okay :hugs:
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Re: My recent story

Postby Worstyear » Yesterday, 17:03

Hi there again.
Well, last saturday, after 20 days pain free the pain came back. I have to confess the pain is quite lower than before, this time i had a dry bm and it seemed to tore the fissure a bit. I haven't had any blood though.

I manage pain with a little of clonazepam (my anxiety spikes like hell), ibuprofen and nitro just after the bm in the morning. Some days I apply heat but it has been very tropical around here so humidity and high temperatures are not helping at all.

I don't know if this is normal, it's like a rollercoaster. I think that, perhaps, the wound is more superficial than before and that the muscule tissue probably healed but not the skin and it keeps tearing when something is not softer enough.
I'm aware that lack of fruit or excess of fibre are really bad for me. I can't eat certain things, because even with miralax the thing is hard. But it doesn't happen often, just once a month or two. But I have to be very careful.

I will see my crs tomorrow, I'll bring an update after that. The guy still resist to surgery and probably will tell me to try nitro again a couple of weeks to manage this. I feel lucky that nitro has helped me so much without the violent migraines some people have.

I'm sorry if this is too redundant but I think it might help someone. If you had a chronic fissure and recovered without lis please answer this thread with your experience.
Worstyear
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