Well I have had this fissure for about 3 years as I mentioned in my introduction thread. I got it from diarrhea or constipation (I had an illness which caused severe diarrhea and then constipation afterwards from the medication that helped my illness) I do not know which one caused the fissure because I am confused about how diarrhea can cause a fissure ! I know how constipation can but that does not scare me as much for some reason. maybe that should too ? lol
anyway, I have this terrible anxiety about diarrhea now... I can just imagine if I got severe diarrhea now with my butt not fully healed. What would it do to my fissure ? I picture myself living on borrowed time lol I seriously could not imagine the pain I would be in or the effect the diarrhea would have on my semi healed fissure ! I would say my fissure is about 70% healed, I do not have the spasms, I only have some stinging pain sometimes after BM's, I have good days and bad days although most days are good. My stool is pretty normal and I go about 2 - 3 times daily. I just can't shake the thought of WHAT IF ! like what if I got severe diarrhea ? or got really constipated ? what would It do to my butt in it's current state ? Would i be back to sqaure one or worse ? would i not be able to work and be in extreme pain ? Would I need to go to the emergency room ? It just freaks me out and I think about that so much !
I just do not understand why they can't heal fissures easier ! with all the medical technology they have, they can't heal a fucking paper cut in my ass ? like come on !!!! My specialist said I was healed a couple weeks ago, he put me on this weird dosage of nitro 0.125. I had to go back to my Nifedipine because I few days ago I felt some stinging after BM's. I am going back to see him on Thursday, I want him to actually see if he can spot my fissure and tell me how big it is ? if there is any skin tags ? scar tissue ? Nobody has even been able to see the fissure since I first got it, It has been in a cycle where I go see the doctor and they can't see it because it is semi healed, once it opens again I have never seen the doctor.
This is so frustrating, I just want to be able to not think about diarrhea and bowel movements everyday !
I want this thing healed ! I will have the surgery if I have too but at this point, I am not in enough pain to justify the surgery. I am just worried about the future ! like the WHAT IF's
If any of you can help me with my anxiety, I would appreciate it. I do not want to take medication for the anxiety so please do not suggest that.
thank you very much guys and gals.

Hi buddy LOL ! First we usually use some abbreviations for "F" words here - like f**ng etc. - I know that you are frustrated and new here LOL, so just a friendly "nudge-nudge" .
We all have to deal with this condition on a daily bases and we all ask ourselves "what if" but we are not obsessing about it. We are scared when we are in pain, when not we try to forget about our butts, so you just have to either learn to deal with it , have more drastic approach (surgery) or take some yoga classes, meditation etc. to calm your anxiety. Many members here had to take some meds to cope with it all, and I do not see what is shame in it - if you had diabetes you would be taking insulin - right ? So if you have uncontrolled anxiety - you should ask for help - why live in that kind of fear day and night ??? You might conceder canceling too, or combo of both . I hope that you understand that constant state of panic can make your whole body to go out of balance . Prolonged state of stress effects your cardio-vascular system, your endocrine system, your digestive system - not to mention nervous system !!!
Also, why is so important for you to see the fissure ? If your CRS thinks it is there , it is probably there. It would be more of a problem if you would feel the pain and your CRS would dismiss you and gave you no treatment because he/she does not see one! If you have fissure for 3 years it is a chronic condition and it will take a long time to heal. Once healed it will take about a year for that place to regain it's original strength , so you basically have to be ready for some mishaps. If they happen you will know how to deal with them - you already went through it all. Did you ended up in emergency room first time around ? If not, why would you think next time you would ?And so forth.
I decided to have LIS so I would give my butt better chance for healing and have less incidences of re-tearing. BUT , it happend . So, I went and had another one and will have as many as it takes to heal. Well, that is my approach. Other members will have as many Botox treatments as it takes, some other as many months of creams as it takes - so there is no magic bullet, unfortunately. We all wonder why there is no better treatment - but there is not, so we have to take the best out of what is available. What do you think people did just 50 years ago when there was not even LIS available ? Creams, Botox , well - poor people could just dream about such things.
So try to calm yourself with thoughts that many more treatments are available for you if you ever decide that you want to try others or get fed up with 0.123 Nitro LOL.
In the mean time, do whatever you can to make your life easier - you are not in much pain and be grateful for that .
PS: diarrhea causes fissure because it is very acidic and thins the mucosa down , same as people
get ulcers in their esophagus if they have acid reflux.
Superficial fissures are VERY common and happen to all people, but they heal in a week or two . Those that linger are called the chronic one and they are hard to heal because something is preventing them from healing. It can be spasm, scar tissue, infection, inflammation.

I'm a bit confused as to why you're freaking out so much when you aren't in any pain!!! I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds as if you are totally obsessed by it to the extent it is a phobia, and really only counselling, like Fissy suggested, or medication, or a combination of both, is going to help. A number of people here have been through numerous surgeries and/or been in horrific ongoing pain, yet still dont obsess about diarroah!!

that is the thing, I am greatful that I am not in pain right now... well not much pain, I still do have the odd spasm but mostly some stinging.
I worry that if I ever get severe diarrhea, that I WILL be one of those people in extreme pain ! I just want to know how the diarrhea (if I do get some) would affect my fissure... am I being over paranoid ? I just imagine if the diarrhea I had before caused this frigging fissure, what would diarrhea do to my rear now ? YIKES !!!
that is what scares me, I mean if someone on here has had severe diarrhea and said, ahhhh it was painful at the time but not too bad, that would make me feel better. Like I would like to know how someone dealt with severe diarrhea that also was dealing with a painful fissure (maybe even worse then mine)
I am just happy that this board is here, it makes me feel better but I wish I would just heal 100%

I understand your frustration newbie, but you just have to accept having these fissure problems till you are healed. You have to come up with a strategy to deal with the things you fear. It's not easy, but you don't have a choice. Pain will not kill you.
As our wise Fissy says, you are doing nothing good for your health by constantly fearing diarrhea. If we lived life with all the "what if's" life would be bad, so many terrible things could happen to us on a daily basis, but that is no way to live!!
So many people are having much more problems than us, both in terms of more serious health problems, but also because of other things...poverty...abuse, etc...
I am not trying to minimize your problems, because we all know that having a fissure can be a life with pain and discomfort, and also very hard to deal with mentally - it's no walk in the park.

Fissulyna wrote: to calm your anxiety. Many members here had to take some meds to cope with it all, and I do not see what is shame in it - if you had diabetes you would be taking insulin - right ? So if you have uncontrolled anxiety - you should ask for help - why live in that kind of fear day and night ??? You might conceder canceling too, or combo of both . I hope that you understand that constant state of panic can make your whole body to go out of balance . Prolonged state of stress effects your cardio-vascular system, your endocrine system, your digestive system - not to mention nervous system !!!

Fissy this is a good answer, and you know a lot. I agree, sometimes one has to take medicines because they are needed..., but I think that some of us are "negative" when it comes anxiety pills because it only covers up the problem without dealing with them. And sometimes we (the western world) use to much of them, like "the reality" is too hard for us to deal with. I think pain, anxiety, stress, etc. is just a part of life.
I don't like having pain, dreading the BMs, being blue, crying, living this fissure life, but I am not sure I would be better off in the fog. This is my life, I just have to deal with it.
Having said that, I do know that I would benefit being in some kind of theraphy to deal with this beautiful fissure life, and also I would take anxiety pills or whatever if that would be necessary. If it is needed it is needed, and I now that for some of my friends, or people on this board it is necessary!
Corsica

Val & Fissy,
I completely agree with what both of you said. This prob caused me so much anxiety, and if I have to take meds for anxiety for awhile, I will. I think the mental strain is worse than the physical strain for some. Just my two cents worth.
Cheryl

I can only tell you that yes, diarrhea can make your fissure worse, and yes, you have a completely unreasonable fear of it.
This is the definition of a phobia, however mild or severe it may be.
That is just how it is.
I can also sense that there is nothing anyone here will be to say that will allay your fears, as you have repeatedly made pleas for reassurance about a possibility that has not even occurred, and have received multiple replies that were supportive and reassuring. What you are asking for is outside the scope and purpose of this board. We are not an anxiety support group. We are here for people who *are* in severe pain, and we try our best to offer advice on minimizing that pain and showing said sufferers there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I can only suggest, again, that you modify your diet to avoid diarrhea, do your best to not contract any type virus that may cause said diarrhea, and get some kind of professional help about your anxiety.
Sorry to be so blunt.
I also have to add that you need to edit your use of the "F" word (and other extreme foul words) and any variation thereof or you will find your posts deleted or worse. I refer you to the terms of service you accepted when you joined this board.
Kim

Beautiful picture Kim :)

Thanks, Corsi -- she's my "Baby Angel."

Well said, Kim, and nice picture.