Tabby wrote:BUT …Here comes my negativity – What skunners me is that I did so well on the Anoheal /Diltiazem and felt soo good , I had no blood , no pain for almost 4 months,
I felt I was almost really healed but then I had to stop the cream and my fissure returned with a vengeance :( My F.E.A.R now is when the Botox wears off that this rollercoaster will double loop… I need to get to that point again and if things continue to do well then more Botox could be my next step ……
It’s a fine line my friend, please do all you can for yourself this week, maybe you could use some nitro ?? try some prunes ?? baked apples ??

Spot on Tabby! It is so what I fear too.
I believe that I am too tight, and that even if I heal the chance of retearing is big. I have actually bled on/off for almost 9 years during BM, and that must be because it is tight. If that is the case I think that LIS is the thing to do, but since my CRS is negative about doing that on me, I guess I will have another shot of Botox if that is necessary.
I agree with you Fissy, pain = fissure, and even though I feel that pain level during the day is OK, I know that the ugly fissure is there. Why else should it be blod, heavy burning after BM, and that fantastic ripping sensation at the beginning of every BM. And when I go more that once (like today when I had to go to the hospital for iron transfusion = stress = multiple BM) I have worse pain, more like the good old fissure pain.
The thing is that I am so fed up with this now, I want to be able to live normal again, work out, go back to work, be more with friends, enjoy good food and a glass of wine. So fed up with this fissure diet.
And no, I haven't found the magic diet that makes soft BM, or I have trouble getting the first part of it soft. I am so fed up! I know I shouldn't complain, so many people are worse off...
I have wondered if I should start with nitro again...but he told me to quit, I am confused. Maybe I would try the psyllium again, but maybe half a spoon?
Prunes? I love prunes, but there is something in dried fruit that gives me a terribel stomach ache. The list of what I cannot eat is getting longer every day... I drink 2 - 3 smoothies these days (with avocado, mango, pears, kiwi, etc.)
Or maybe I should buy a new butt, a new colon and new head (I don't know which one is in worst shape).
Sorry to be a party pooper, but I feel blue. I really thought I was healing.
Thanks for all of you good thoughts

all of you
Bloody Mary
....a very fine line indeed Tabby.... I understand your need to us a code