Steve I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much still
Please try to get hold of some decent pain meds since it is very important to "brake the cycle" ! If you are in pain, your muscles clench reflexively and cause spasms and that makes healing slower and pain worse

:(

How I wish they can give you some Valium - this is really inhumane

If you feel better during the soak , than you definitely are having strong spasms going on :(
Yes - swelling makes you feel like you have to poop so often, but you will have to somehow go down on number of BMs since that poor anus needs some rest to heal

Also ,there is nothing wrong with a GENTLE push - do not worry about that. Only heavy straining can cause some major damage.
I can tell you, and many other members mentioned it here, that poop that is on the too pasty side can cause more stress on the anus in some instances just because it is hard for it to evacuate completely , is sticky and messy and also is higher in acidity. Even nowadays my butt is happiest with normally formed poop - not stiff but not "doughy" either ! It is really hard to make a poop "perfect" but over the time we learn what works for each of us individually. I hope that soon you will be able to regulate the number of BMs *sigh, that is just maddening
Keep strong, Steve , it must start getting better soon !!!!
PS: I know that some members did get Valium in the UK after CRS procedures , so you might try to insist and be persistent. It might be hard to get it but obviously it is not "unheard of" ; )))