Hi everyone – thank you so much for your support and great advice. I really need it!
That appointment was the last thing I needed, given my already very fragile emotional state. I think all of you are right that there is good news in some of this – namely that the follow-up is very soon and the surgery is the next option. Thanks for helping me keep sight of that.
Alpinestrawberry – thanks so much for your sympathy, and I will be looking into alternative surgeons when I see my doc tomorrow. The problem with the Canadian system is the wait times. I may be able to find another surgeon … but in all likelihood, s/he wouldn’t be able to see me until six months to a year from now!
Even so, I’ll look into it. My surgeon sounded borderline crazy to me too … I just have to sort out whether or not my loss of respect for him means that I shouldn’t trust is surgical abilities. Tough call!
Elphie – thanks for your brilliant advice about bringing a list of questions with me to the next appointment – that’s a great idea and I’ll definitely do that. I have googled him, but I couldn’t find any useful information about him. There is another doc at that clinic I found on ratemydoctor – same complaints as mine: accuses patients of having anal sex and one gay fellow who posted got less than sympathetic treatment. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who cries after these kinds of appointments! And it’s comforting to know that others would be upset and angry about such an experience too. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m over-reacting to things because I feel so awful. Thank you so much for being there to be angry at my surgeon with me :o
Thanks so much for the good news about the diltiazem, garwha – that makes me feel better. My surgeon says 80% success rate and no recurrence as long as I stay on a high fiber diet. Frankly, I don’t believe him. The 60% your doc cited makes more sense to me. I will give this my best shot, but it is very difficult to apply the stuff! It’s hard to get ‘up there’ and it stings a bit for a while. Do you find that it makes you feel like you have to have a BM? I’m not sure what I should do if I ‘go’ after I’ve applied it … apply more? Leave it alone??
I really wish I could have had a civilized conversation with the surgeon. He just told me that anal sex and not enough fiber causes fissures … but neither of those things apply to me, so I don’t know what that means. Does it matter what caused the fissure as far as treatment options go? Can people with loose stool still get an LIS?
Damn … I’m still pissed. As I was denying the anal sex, I felt like I was betraying my LGBT friends and a cause I feel pretty strongly about.
It really means a lot to me that there are so many great people here who offer such great advice and moral support. I feel better now and will go try to tackle my day