fed up

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Re: fed up

Postby Sue1962 » 24 Oct 2011, 17:48

I am sorry to hear about your current pain. I have been suffering for several years. I totally understand your anxiety. I am not having any depression, just frustration. I am in the midst of yet another painful recurrence as well with a nasty tag more painful than the fissure. Today day 11... I actually felt a little better. I am a morning pooper and this morning was a little better than the past 10. I am also a nurse and walk all day and I think that really helps me with the spasms. 600mg of Ibuprofen with breakfast a soak a lunchtime and back to work. My husband has been a trooper, He makes me rest on the weekends and I do take Xanax occasionally if the spasm is out of control,he takes care of everything. Thank god for him and everyone on here. I have an appt on Nov. 8th for consult for surgery. I am sick of this consuming my life. After reading all of the positive notes. I figure, I have been miserable several months out of the year for the past several years. Surgery won't be too miserable(from what I've read) and the burning, shards of glass and spasm will stop. I think you should check with another Dr. and get an appt soon.. I do feel your pain and I am sorry you are going through this...always remember we are here for you and you are not alone. Hope you feel better soon Image
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Re: fed up

Postby TonyStone » 24 Oct 2011, 18:17

The AF pain is the only pain I have ever had that made have suicidal thoughts. I would never act on them, but it makes me wonder if anyone has. The suffered with AF for a long time, never told anyone and one night boom. No one ever knew why. I hope not.
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Re: fed up

Postby Rosa M » 24 Oct 2011, 20:23

That is a scary thought Tony but who knows. Look how common anal fissures are yet most people don't talk about them, except on here of course. I receive daily emails from some health related websites and yesterday one of them had an article titled urinary incontinence is the least talked about health condition. Well I couldn't keep quiet about that. I hit the feedback key and said No, anal fissures are!
Andy I am so sorry for what you are going through. I don't think its a bad idea to get some anti anxiety meds. Having AFs and dealing with all the things that come with them is very trying and can really dampen even the most spirited of individuals. Do what you need to do to get your life back and i hope you find relief soon.
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Re: fed up

Postby Guest » 24 Oct 2011, 21:18

You know Tony, its weird that you mentioned that. I had the same conversation with my sister. I told her I wondered if some one has ever done that!
I agree with the others Andy, do whatever you can right now to get some relief. You can always stop them later. Image
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Re: fed up

Postby TonyStone » 24 Oct 2011, 22:51

@dawn-People are so embarrassed to talk about it. I feel bad for anyone going through this alone because at times it drives you crazy. I could understand how it could happen. I can't imagine going through it by myself. My wife has been there for me through all the pain. I don't know how I would have made it without her. There are a few things I still don't know if I could do by myself.
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Re: fed up

Postby alpinestrawberry » 25 Oct 2011, 06:32

I'm sorry Andy. I know exactly what you mean about the worrying. My anxiety was through the roof, half the time I thought I was dying of some hidden internal disease and the other half I wanted to kill myself. I had my fissures for five years but it was only the last year or two that things got so bad I couldn't live with it anymore.
And yes, it is THE MOST under-talked about health problem on the planet. Society is so advanced now that breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer, testicular cancer etc., are OK to admit you have, but an excruciatingly painful torn a**hole is still the equivalent of a joke for most people. That's fine if you do want to laugh about it (Tony you are hilarious) but I don't want to be laughed AT because of it. And then there's the stigma that you probably caused it yourself somehow, like a smoker with lung cancer, because no one wants to think this could happen to them so they start trying to explain it away.
I didn't want to face any scrutiny and so I was like a clam about the whole situation. I didn't EVER tell my mom because she's a blabbermouth and God only knows how many people she'd have told, from distant cousins twice-removed to the mailman. My husband knew, of course, and a good friend of mine who's a doula/nurse-midwife, and my mom's two sisters who thankfully don't have her gift of gab. And my best friend from high school, but that's it. After the surgery I did tell a couple more select people; somehow it was easier to talk about after the fact and it did relieve the stress some to admit what I'd been through. But I've stopped talking about it at all lately, even with my recent flareups (which, KOW, seem to have gone away).
I just feel so bad for everyone on here that needs the surgery and has to wait for whatever reason. Even though it hasn't returned my rear to it's pristine, pre-fissure state, it was so worth it and I'm well on my way to having my life back. Hang in there guys, the surgery will be worth the wait!
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Re: fed up

Postby TonyStone » 25 Oct 2011, 07:19

I agree, I talk about it with everyone. I wasn't joking so much before surgery believe me. I feel the same way, since they don't understand the pain I think most people blow it off as nothing.
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Re: fed up

Postby Guest » 25 Oct 2011, 08:01

Tony,
I'm more embarrassed now then I was before surgery. I told quite a few people before my surgery. I too thought I had some horrific disease that was gonna kill me. :oops: and all shame went out the door but I agree no one really gets the pain of it. I think it became clear after I lost all the weight, that I was in a lot of pain. Another thing people really don't get is the fear of the surgery. Most people think they will just stitch it up like a cut finger and all is well :roll: They don't realize what happens and the process of healing, etc. So I kind of got the "why don't you just get it over with" treatment.
Alpine, I agree. I feel horrible for the folks who have to wait. Val is waiting right now as far as I know. Please keep her in your prayers guys. She has been through so much Image
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Re: fed up

Postby Sue1962 » 25 Oct 2011, 11:14

I totally agree!!! People that have lived fissure free have no idea how intense the pain is. I tell them on a scale of 1-10 it is 100!!! I think they compare it to hemi pain which is uncomfortable, but tolerable unless it is thrombosed, which I have had one of those too. I have had kids, my tubes tied, an appendectomy, and sinus surgery and none of those compare to this pain!!! I remember telling my husband to take me out back and put me out of my misery, of course he never would!!! I don't know what I would do without him and I never would do anything to harm myself, I love me too much, but I am sure people think about it seriously. It is by far the least talked about ailment. When I googled it all it brought up was Web MD and mayo clinic stuff and I finally found this forum,which has helped me cope and live with this and pushed me to get a consult for surgery. I really want to thank everyone on here for getting me to this point!!! I am day 12 of a severe retear and tag flare up and today was a little better than yesterday and way better than last week!!! My consultation is Nov 8th and even if I am pain free, I am still going ahead and schedule the surgery. I am so done with this pain in the a**.
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