So I've posted previously on here, and now i'm back again :-(
Had a fistula caused by chronic fissure, had the fistula surgery to lay it open and heal by itself. That was September 2011. Since then my recovery has not been great, basically i kept healing up, then someone would go wrong and i'd have blood with my BM. All my CRS's (I had my NHS guy and paid for a top private CRS to have a look) have concluded 'some people take longer to heal than others'.
About a month an a half ago I made a change to my already healthy + fibre rich diet which I found finally took away my concerns about my BM's and have had no problems since then!
Then this morning for no reason I can understand, I had a really difficult BM that was clearly hard and has torn me down below, most likely where I had the surgery. Blood was apparent on the tissue, and after today's second BM (I have two a day like clockwork) the blood was worse.
I've clearly got a cut, most likely from the site of the surgery. I can't do any more diet wise, and I just don't get why my body has done this to me. I drink huge amounts of water each day, I don't understand why it was so hard this morning and mow I'm back to square one again.
I'm so depressed about this, I don't have the words. It's totally ruined my life and if it weren't for family that care, I'm not sure i'd still be here. It sounds melodramatic but honestly I just feel like I have no options, no way of getting over this and no way to plan for a future.
My concern is not the blood or the pain (which is very mild) but the possibility of the fistula reoccuring, which can happen if it doesn't heal right.
I can't believe it's almost been a year since the surgery and I'm in exactly the same state.
If anyone has any advise, for mental well-being about coping with this, diet (though I can't see what more I can do in this respect!) or more surgery, or anyone that's has a fistula recur after surgery, please let me hear from you.
I'm at my wits end and easily the lowest at any point during my life.
Thank you