Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby CrackinUp » 20 Feb 2013, 16:09

I think the knife pain is your sphincter pulling the edges of the fissure. It's the worst pain in the world and really disturbing. This is what I've been suffering with. I have wanted to goto hospital so many times but there is no point.
How long after a BM does it start? Mine had another go at me almost 2 hours later today, so hit it with the Nitro and killed it again. It's working so well on the spasms now!
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby GGky1959 » 20 Feb 2013, 16:31

CrackinUp wrote:I think the knife pain is your sphincter pulling the edges of the fissure. It's the worst pain in the world and really disturbing. This is what I've been suffering with. I have wanted to goto hospital so many times but there is no point.
How long after a BM does it start? Mine had another go at me almost 2 hours later today, so hit it with the Nitro and killed it again. It's working so well on the spasms now!

I just got my Nitro today and I was all geared and ready to start using it. But I'm gonna wait on my visit with my doctor before I start using it. I got so much Aleve in me, I want to make sure whats working and whats not. Up, I feel everyone's pain today, this thing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was tempted today to go the er because the tension in my face is prominate now, I'm starting to get spasm and its scary.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby coconut » 20 Feb 2013, 18:11

Rachael 1984 wrote:There is new pain... Horrible, horrible pain.
Like a knife going into my butt and being twisted, then jabbed, then twisted....Burning, more burning. I wish I had a broken arm or leg, anything rather than this. My partner is sick of it, can't cope with the tears, they keep coming. God knows how I am gonna go another 6 wks of this hell. Helllpp!

This is exactly like me a week ago. I didn't think I'd ever be pain free again, but I'm feeling much better now. I just had to find a combination of treatments that work for me and then put them into action for a while so that things could turn around.
I've done all the creams and such. The last cool thing that seems to be tipping the balance is learning how to squat when I poop correctly. Go figure. I never thought I'd be an adult figuring out how to poop on the toilet.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby GGky1959 » 20 Feb 2013, 18:57

coconut wrote:
Rachael 1984 wrote:There is new pain... Horrible, horrible pain.
Like a knife going into my butt and being twisted, then jabbed, then twisted....Burning, more burning. I wish I had a broken arm or leg, anything rather than this. My partner is sick of it, can't cope with the tears, they keep coming. God knows how I am gonna go another 6 wks of this hell. Helllpp!

This is exactly like me a week ago. I didn't think I'd ever be pain free again, but I'm feeling much better now. I just had to find a combination of treatments that work for me and then put them into action for a while so that things could turn around.
I've done all the creams and such. The last cool thing that seems to be tipping the balance is learning how to squat when I poop correctly. Go figure. I never thought I'd be an adult figuring out how to poop on the toilet.

Squating, how do women do that and is there a topic about it.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby Rachael 1984 » 21 Feb 2013, 02:08

Thanks everyone. Crackin, The pain when I have a BM now isn't as bad, I am using Vaseline before and after. The knife pains start an hour or so after the BM then pretty much all day.
GG, I am using Rectogesic, used it for 2 months already, then back on it. But unfortunately I seem to be irritated after applying it. Have been using a very small amount on a cotton bud.
Nobody understands the pain of this,my relationship is under strain at the moment. Thanks Marg, it made me laugh what you wrote about the kids. ❤
Hopefully today I can keep sane.
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby marg6043 » 21 Feb 2013, 06:41

Rachael 1984 you have to keep your sanity, remember while people that never know what it is to suffer with the horrendous pain and suffering of fissures we here all had and are experiencing this so we know Rachael we know and we also know how mind blowing can be. But hang in there girl, just keep your routine stick with keeping the area lubricated before and after and the spams will slowly ease off.
Ask your doctor for another type of cream.
When I was this bad that I thought I was going to lose my mind I will put lidocaine on the anal area just to relieve, as my spams in beginning were all day long and only in the morning they were gone to start all over again after a BM.
And Rachael by all means if you can afford it have the LIS if things just become unbearable for too long without easing of the pain.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby Rachael 1984 » 21 Feb 2013, 12:46

Thanks again Marg, you are great. I can't get hold of lidocaine here in uk, my friend works in a pharmacy and she says we can't get it here anymore! The only lidocaine is in baby teething gel!
I have the Botox in 6wks, I just hope I can heal, I don't wanna go back to square one after it wares off. I haven't heard many success stories on Botox. Fingers crossed!
I have kept a bit more upbeat today, it has made me feel a bit better. Xxx
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby prunie » 21 Feb 2013, 13:07

Not true!! I am here in the UK and have Lidocaine (will check spelling). It's bliss, but you have to get it on prescription and I hear (I think from here) that it can hinder healing....but hey if it can help you with pain prior to your botox go for it. Ask your GP.
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby Rachael 1984 » 21 Feb 2013, 15:14

Oh??! I will check this. Although, now you have said it could delay healing, I am scared to use it! I am not healing anyway, never mind hindering the damn Fissures!!
I have been using Vaseline pre BM, straight into water, then Vaseline. This seems to help... Until tomorrow. Image
Last edited by Rachael 1984 on 21 Feb 2013, 15:15, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Typo
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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Rachael 1984
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Re: Losing the will to live. Worst time of my life

Postby marg6043 » 21 Feb 2013, 15:54

Rachael 1984 when I used the lidocaine, it was only temporarily to get me over the BMs, along with the vaseline, then a vitamin E suppository after the BM and before bed, including two spoonfuls of coconut oil.
Just to get the BMs to be less painful, the lidocaine was only temporarily it still do the the rest of the routine.
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