So depressed this morning :(

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So depressed this morning :(

Postby Ceeteefeebs » 05 May 2013, 08:31

Hey guys,
I don't want to be the downer of the day, but I sure could use a little moral support. As many of you know, I had LIS last Monday. Almost a week post-op, and I feel exactly as lousy as I did pre-op. After two blissful toothpaste-y BMs, they are back to their usual consistency. Not too hard for a regular bum, but too hard for this broken bum. As a result, I think I keep re-tearing each morning. The past two mornings I have spied a red chili-flake sized piece of bloody tissue mingled in the stool- not at all a large amount, but as sign, I think, that I'm just not healing. Post-LIS the spasms are reduced in severity and frequency, but they're still there and make me want to cry. I don't know what to do... I'm so depressed and really just want to give up. I know some of you have been through far worse, and that makes me feel like a huge annoying whiner. You guys are so strong. I don't know how you do it.
I meet with my CRS on Tuesday for a post-op. We'll see what he says. In the meantime, I'll keep pounding the stool softeners, Miralax, water, fruit and veg. I've been externally applying Vaseline, which seems to provide modest relief for the skin dryness (from all the bathing). I don't really know the best way to internally apply it- even the slightest touch to the opening of the anus provides excruciating pain. Any tips you guys might have would be hugely appreciated!
On a lighter note, the message board made its way into my dreams last night. So you guys are officially a big part of my life.
Hugs, ctf
Ceeteefeebs
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby sufferer » 05 May 2013, 09:56

Hi ctf, We all suffer because of AF at different levels and can always relate to someone who is feeling low. Try to relax, listen to your favorite music, just try your best to calm down and help your body heal the wounds of surgery. I am sure you will get out of this like others have. Oh yes, AF forum is a big part of our lives cause hardly anyone in the real world can relate to this condition and the pain and suffering it causes us. Just hang in there and keep strong. I'm sure you will be back to normal very soon. Cheers,
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby ravians » 05 May 2013, 11:55

DEAR CTF,
DON'Tget worried about ur delayed healing as it depends upon various factors. just pray to Lord n stay sure that u will b fine soon. ur mental calmness n contentment counts a lot towards ur healing process.
healing depends on ur condition of ur fissure at the time of surgery, how the surgery is done,
which procedure Is adopted,
how well surgeon has done it,
how ur body reacts to the surgery,
how u take care post op,
etc .
u mentioned that u r taking sitz bath , I advice u that u should ask ur crs about adding any antiseptic like pyodine adding to water for sitz bath.
don't panic dear I know there are stories that people healed in 3 days with almost no symptoms of AF. but still I would u take Care of ur body n let it heal its on way.
I want to ask u one thing do u feel spasm during bm I mean Do u feel post op that now ur sphincter is not so tight now n it's now giving way to ur bm. if it's so then don't worry the spasm that u feel after bm may be due to slight tearing that may go away as u keep ur bm further soft. or even if it stays as it is now it will heal but it may heal slow.
have faith , u will heal. take care.
ravians
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby Miss K » 05 May 2013, 15:53

I have the same problem with bathing in that I already have really dry skin and sitting in warm water for even a few mins just dries and cracks all my skin (probably in the fissure area too). I find using a wheat bag for an hour after I've applied my rectogestic a bit better as it's moist then, and if it still feels dry after a little sorbeline or vitamin E helps.
Keep the faith mate, it's a real yoyo this condition but if you've had a couple of good days it might mean there will be more in the future :)
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby Ceeteefeebs » 05 May 2013, 21:40

Thanks so much for the support guys! I'm going to ask my CRS about adding an antiseptic, and I am most definitely going to look into wheat bags! Sending hugs your way and will touch base again soon.
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby howtobepositive » 06 May 2013, 01:05

Ah man that sucks! I got mine a day after you did and though luckily I havent seen any blood, I havent been able to get good consistency on my BM :( For the most part they are loose, a type 5-6 on the bristol scale.
I also get minor spasms after BM and then the familiar itchy burning pain for hours. Walking is worse. Do you walk much? I get so tired of lying around that I do walk as much as I can, I wonder if that is ok or not!!
Good luck with the CRS and all of us will pray you feel better!
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Re: So depressed this morning :(

Postby ravians » 06 May 2013, 01:44

No dear not at all. walking is not gud when u take sitz bath or even bath cz it makes the tissue soft n when u walk it stretches the tissue n its easier to tear it or of not tearing then at least not letting it stay strong. I usually lie down for 2 to 3 hrs after bath or ditz bath.
n usually in other hrs when I walk I walk only taking small steps with the intention that I might not stretch the area too much that may hinder the healing process. when I start feeling itchy or any pain it means my walking is more than enough. n while sitting try not to put weight on ur bum not even lie down on ur back it will hinder blood circulation to that area n thus slow healing.
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