Surrendering to the Knife

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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 15 Mar 2013, 14:39

I do have help with the binge eating stuff. In fact, I got help right after the incident that gave me the fissure. I use a 12 step program, so I have one-on-one help, weekly meetings and a network of group meetings/people I can call. Its a good thing. They don't, however, understand having a fissure. Its a hard fact for me that the last six months have been the most in-control and healthy with my eating patterns that I have ever experienced and that all this "being good" has had zero impact on reducing my pain levels.
I wonder if my body being denied all the neuro-chemicals that get released when we eat junk food are making the pain worse. Long-term, junk food is terrible, but short term, it feels good! That's why we keep eating it. I also feel like I've made a lot of strides emotionally. And that is all really good stuff, but I don't get to enjoy it. All my energy is wrapped up in poop.
I feel like life is conspiring to keep me down. Without this challenge, my life would be very different right now. I know that a lot of people around here have better eating habits than they've ever had before. And everyone is experiencing problems that happen because they have to put their life on hold while they spend hours in the bathroom.
I'm going to try medicating with the percocet before my BM tomorrow. I stopped that because I was worried that it was interfering with the urge to move my bowels and making me push, but its worth another shot. One of the principles of pain management is that it is always easier to prevent pain than to stop it once it starts.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 15 Mar 2013, 15:14

I just did more research on Percocet withdrawal. OMG! I totally set myself up for my breakdown this morning by trying to reduce the amount of the drug I'm taking too quickly.
The other day that I had a breakdown is also a time when I reduced my percocet intake, and that was only after a few days of being on the higher dose.
I started a new thread because I wanted there to be an easily accessible place for information on this stuff, with the hopes that someone will have the head-up that I didn't have about this stuff. Yikes!
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 16 Mar 2013, 05:54

three words: hard tipped poo. I'm still trying to get it to pass without injuring me. I used my old cocobutter suppositories. I'm hoping they will soften it so it can pass without harming me. Writing this as I try to wait long enough for it to dissolve. The rest of the stool is almost certainly soft. I can feel it rumbling in there.
I tried to give up milk of magnesia yesterday because it was causing so much bleeding and because I had developed diarrhea. I guess that was a mistake.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 16 Mar 2013, 06:18

Success!
In both the hard-tipped poo and the taking of the percocet before my morning BM (I had stopped doing that because in the beginning, it seemed to be removing the urge to have a BM, but I was on a lot more back then.)
Does anyone have any advice about preventing the hard tipped poo without creating diarrhea? I've heard about glycerine suppositories on the forum, but I'm worried that they will irritate my healing wounds.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby owmybum » 16 Mar 2013, 07:27

Phew, glad to see that hard tipped poo didn't cause any more trauma!!
The only thing that I have tried that has kept my bms consistently soft is movicol. Are you on that??
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 16 Mar 2013, 08:40

owmybum wrote:Phew, glad to see that hard tipped poo didn't cause any more trauma!!
The only thing that I have tried that has kept my bms consistently soft is movicol. Are you on that??
OMB x

I think that's the same thing as miralax. And yah, I'm on that. I'm taking one dose a day. Maybe increase it while I'm on the percocet? I am having significantly more pain today. I can't rest because I have a full patient load and my assistant called out sick today. I don't know if I did harm this morning afterall or if I just need to rest. I guess it doesn't really matter. We can only go forward. I really wish I could get off the percocet, but its such a huge crutch for me right now. I really don't feel like I can do without it. Trying to hold off and not take it again until 11.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby jr2 » 16 Mar 2013, 09:24

You could try increasing the Miralax dosage and also dividing doses between morning and evening to keep moisture in the bowel all the time. The other thing you can try if you haven't already is to perform abdominal massage on your colon a few times a day, especially after meals, using deep massage strokes that follow the natural peristaltic waves of the colon. Starting in the lower right of the abdomen and moving upward with the ascending colon, moving right to left across the transverse colon, and then downward at the sigmoid colon. This can help offset the effect of the painkiller that may be slowing down your own natural colonic contractions.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 16 Mar 2013, 10:24

jr2 wrote:You could try increasing the Miralax dosage and also dividing doses between morning and evening to keep moisture in the bowel all the time. The other thing you can try if you haven't already is to perform abdominal massage on your colon a few times a day, especially after meals, using deep massage strokes that follow the natural peristaltic waves of the colon. Starting in the lower right of the abdomen and moving upward with the ascending colon, moving right to left across the transverse colon, and then downward at the sigmoid colon. This can help offset the effect of the painkiller that may be slowing down your own natural colonic contractions.

I like the massage idea. I can do it while I'm meditating! Good to re-encorperate some holistic measures. I think I'll try dividing the miralax, too. And I'm doubling the colace. That stuff is so gentle, I'm not sure its doing any good, but at least its not making my stomach bleed.
I can't imagine going without this forum and only on doctor's advice. There is so much more in the way of management that can be done.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby coconut » 17 Mar 2013, 06:50

Day 11
Today was much less dramatic. Still painful, but manageable.
I finally feel like I have a post-sugery routine that works for me.
I switched my breakfast from bran cereal to soy-yogurt and fruit with the hopes that it will prevent the dreaded hard tipped poo. As usual, I have nice poo friendly diet. Lots of pea soup, fruits and veggies.
I took 5 docolace pills throughout the day. I split my miralax doses up, 8 g in the morning and 12 at night.
I took 2 percocet. One in the morning, 1/2 before getting out of bed. My bowels are in the habit of moving when I first get out of bed in the morning, so I needed to take the pill before getting out of bed. I took the second pill when the first wore off around noon.
I intend to keep the 2 percocet pill routine for a while so that I can easier regulate the constipation issue. (I hope my doc goes along with this, because I'm going to need more pills, soon.)
Since my body is already experiencing percocet dependency, I was cranky yesterday evening after the pill wore off. My body wanted more. I dealt with this by being gentle with myself. I just curled up and watched TV. I did my guided meditation. I gave myself a acupuncture detox treatment. I drank lots of herbal tea.
With all this effort, I finally got a full night's sleep last night. What a difference that makes!
Another piece of good news is that the wounds on the outside of my anus are defiantly smaller than they were a week ago. Its hard to tell, day by day, but they are smaller overall. I look everyday because I also have a habit of cleaning the wounds of any fecal matter with Balneol lotion and a q-tip. The wounds tend to collect and impact stuff, even after baths and flushing with water, so its been good to give them an extra clean.
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Re: Surrendering to the Knife

Postby suzyljank » 17 Mar 2013, 08:09

Hi, if you're starting to feel dependent on the percocet maybe your doctor can give you another kind of pain medication that isn't so addictive. Perocet is oxycodone and very addictive. Have you tried taking 1/2 a pill to see if you still get pain relief without the full dose. You could also take Aleve or Advil for any breakthrough pain. My husband just had a 3 hour surgery on his arm and shoulder this past thursday and he found aleve works wonders for break through pain, so much so he's cut way back on his prescription pain medicine.
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