Dear Danny,sorry you are suffering.First of all,you have to get examined.Can you not go to the ER when you are in severe pain?atleast they will examine and you can know what the problem is.take some painkiller 30mins before BMs and keep the sitz bath ready.continue with the fibre diet,water,stool softeners and please see someone soon.i dont live in the US,so i dont know what all options you have for medical care.do you have to pay even to see your GP?

Well thanks for the support guys,These last days have been very depressing i have not ate much in fear of the pain im takeing colace but even with that stools are not as soft,and when i drink a little prune juice they get to watery and hurt.
Im trying to get insurance but its expensive and with out any income coming in, imagine that.
The reason i dont have insurance is i worked for myself was pretty much a handy man and since nothing ever hurt me i never bothered with insurance.
I was 360lbs 6'3 a big guy before my butt problem 9 months ago, now i stopped weighing my self at 200, i spend most of my days locked in a room in my sisters house these days i just cant seem to shake the depression.I think it comes down to not having a set goal, its like im trying new things to control this thing but i have no clue what im doing.
This is gonna be my third week in pain and i dont see much progress , cant really get the stool right this time, it might be the way this has made me feel emotionally, its just horrible to be at a point where you almost even forgot you had this illness to being full blown again.
My weight worries me too, im just loosing too much weight..
Thanks again guys when i seen the response i cried,it feels strange to see every one around me enjoy life food and things i cant, but here you guys actually feel what i feel.

Hi Danny,
I am worried about you, buddy. I guess I am wondering if you are getting enough protein and vitamins to heal properly. When you lose that much weight you can become malnourished even if you aren't underweight clinically. I lost 20 pounds and I think my not eating (though understandable with that much pain) contributed to my slow healing. I got very little protein and didn't even take vitamins. You need to be getting zinc, and a good multivitamin and protein for your body to repair itself.

If you get enough fiber your body will be more forgiving in what and how it digests. If you eat some All Bran buds every day I think it would make a difference. Also added some healthy oils, flax seed, fish oil, olive oil to your diet will help. I don't know if you saw the post where Raul had mentioned he could send you some cream.

I think I said it before but if you are in this bad of shape you need to go to the ER. If you can't get in to at a community health center then you may need to bring this info in to them and ask for help. You might want to think about getting on antidepressants. Some are generic now and you can get them at Walmart for $4. I just know how you feel and it is a very alienating situation because it is hard to talk about. Does your sister know about your suffering?

I was surprised to when I came here and saw that others had butt issues. The website wans't as developed since it was only a few months old by the time I came along but it was nice to have a place to openly discuss problems in the bathroom.

Hang in there. The darkness will break.

i'm sorry you're so depressed danny! this is definitely a depressing problem to have, so you're not alone in your feelings of despair. read as much as you can on this board and get as many ideas as possible. you might have no choice but to see a dr, but until then it can't hurt to try other things. i know it's an uphill battle but all we can do is keep TRYING and keep holding on to hope that one day it will get better. you can't stop eating though. you need to have a very healthy diet, with lots of water intake, and some supplements to help you achieve the perfect stool consistency. a lot of people on here use benefiber or some other type of fiber supplement, in addition to laxatives like MOM and/or stool softeners like colace. follow every BM with a warm bath and painkillers to help ease the pain. it's very difficult to deal with this when there is no "set goal" like you say. i mean, obviously our goal is to HEAL, but sometimes that just doesn't go as we'd like. it is definitely trial and error getting these stubborn things to go away. that's just the way it is unfortunately :(
just a note also, i have Kaiser insurance but was unsatisfied with their treatment of me after 2 failed surgeries. I went outside of kaiser and paid out of pocket to see a specialist. it really was not as expensive as i thought it would be. my first visit was $250 and subsequent visits were $60. my surgery was $2500 and follow ups have been free since surgery. prescriptions can be expensive but please remember, just because you don't have insurance it doesn't mean you can't seek treatment.

Danny -
I know it is so easy to be sad about this, God knows I have been - but we are all here on the board to support each other through this.
Whenever I would go to my colorectal health clinic, I always noticed people at the reception desk saying how they are going to pay cash. I also know there have been some others in the past on the board, like Juney, who paid out of pocket for surgeries. Plus, so many docotrs offices can set up payment plans for you.
I know Juney mentioned the Benefiber, but I wanted to mention it again because this has helped me so much! It really works great. Have you tried anything other than prune juice? MOM & Miralax work great for some people as well.
Please don't feel alone or sad, because your not alone. So many people HEAL from anal fissures and you will too.
Jen

Danny - Lecia told about all wonted to say , so I would just send you one BIG and tell you that you have to remember that you healed once and that you will heal again. NOW, with that said - you now just HAVE to make yourself more comfortable - pain can do strange and scary thing to us :( . I went from 136p (I ma 5'7) to 116 p and was looking like a skeleton . I came to size 2 and I cried any time I saw myself in the mirror.
While liquid poop might burn, it does less damage than hard one, so try to find a balance it is HARD, we all had hard time finding what works for us with trail and error and some errors cost us re tears :( and going through agony all over again. Lecias- Kellogs All Bran buds are really miracle in a box. What I did was that I would soak them in milk until they became mushy, than would add fresh fruit to it , like blueberries , or cut-up apricots, or any fruit you like ! If you have it for breakfast - I guaranty you that that poop will come out nice and mushy, but not runny ! I later discovered that eating it before a sandwich made of 2 peaces of whole grain bread and some turkey breast and some veggies inside (tomato, cucumbers, peppers and such and some Mayo or what ever you want as a dressing that is not spicy) would also
help make poop soft and nice natural way. You can eat as much veggies and fruits you like - including smoothies and canned fruit. Also, soups are great , especially been ones. I also found that those "eggs in the carton" that are cholesterol free like Eggo Beaters are much less constipating especially AGAIN if eaten with veggies on top of them and so forth. You have to eat to heal :( - I know it is scary to eat and all that you chew you imagine "going out on opposite side" , but you just have to. Forget other people now - it will just drive you crazy !!!!! You never know what is waiting to jump on them too . Your primary concern now is to get medical help and as Lecia suggested go to ER - they CAN NOT DENY YOU CARE even if you do not have money or insurance !!!!! That is what poor people have to do in this country - but what can you do ??? Your mental health is also VERY important and make sure it is addressed too. Please get out of your room and watch some funny movies on TV and have nice warm baths to relax your muscle and read some inspirational books - ANYTHING that can take your thoughts off all that pain . AND NEVER FORGET _ YOU HEALED ONCE AND WILL HEAL AGAIN !!!!!
Best of luck buddy - please take care and be gentle to yourself - some things just can not be "toughen out" , you need help and a lot of care and don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for it ! You just must be more proactive AND NEVER LOOSE HOPE !!!!

Fiss,
You are so talented! I love your avatar and am envious of so many of you with such funky avatars!!
Cheryl

Thanks Cheryl !!! You can Google them very easy - just put "halloween avatars" and many links will appear with free avatars of all kinds. Just go through galleries and choose any one you like !!! IF you have a Mack - it is super easy - just "drag " it on the side on your "desktop". If not, save it in Photo-bucket and than transfer here !

Fiss,
I did it! Thanks for the instructions!!
Cheryl

Cheryl, your avatar is very scary!!! :hhaunting: