Hey Fiss, I think you're right about the not reading about possible side effects part :) Logically I know the possibility of something going seriously wrong is very small, and I take much bigger risks in other aspects of life (snowboarding, speeding, riding motorcycles, etc.), but somehow the mind just tends to wander when it comes to surgery... Completely irrational, I know, but I just can't help it.
I asked my CRS what complications she's had with LIS patients. I asked her the same question once back in September 2009 and again in April 2010, and she gave me the same answer both times, so I trust that it's the truth. She says she had one patient that didn't get better after LIS, and two that got infections (but both were heavier people who supposedly are more prone to infections due to the many folds of skin in the anus). So no real red flags there, I trust her history.
But yeah I've definitely been having a hard time mentally following through with it all. I've actually spent this entire week hoping I would get bad pain while pooping so that it's easier to follow through mentally. I even ate fried fish and fried rice a few days ago to see if it would cause problems. But so far, only an aching discomfort and some annoying itching -- something is still wrong down there, but it's not totally killing me or stopping me from going about my daily business. Still, I would really love to get rid of it forever, which is why LIS is still appealing. Another thing I keep thinking about is what is my sphincter doesn't actually a spasm, and I get LIS and end up with lower than normal sphincter tone. My mind is quite overactive.
The funny thing is that I've actually started jogging this week for the first time in years just to see if it causes any major pain. But alas, that doesn't cause any terrible pain, either, again just some discomfort and mild pain. My wife laughs at me for running laps around our living room.
I just know that as soon as I cancel my appointment, the fissure is going to come right back though. And since it's just two business days away, I don't know if I can even still cancel or reschedule. I'm not sure what I would even tell the doctor's office besides maybe "hey sorry guys I'm totally chickening out" :oops:
Sigh, yes, I know I'm impossible, but there you have it, a glimpse into the mind of a very neurotic and sad person :) I already bought all the veggies I'll be eating post-surgery, the cotton pads, Fleet enemas, etc., so I'm still planning on going through with everything, but I will just be very mentally unsettled these last few days I think. At least I can feel comforted that stenosis is an unlikely complication though :)
Well, thank you for entertaining my follies!
I hope maybe it's just late and my mind is losing it, maybe I'll read this tomorrow morning and laugh at what I posted.