hi all...
just want to share.. i am depress and confused, well.. maybe mad and angry as well to what am i experiencing right now.
i just had a hemorroid operation like 8 weeks ago. while recovering frm my operation my BM is fine, suddenly during week 4-5 i started bleeding again. although not that much the sight of blood still very disturbing.
my doctor said i've develop anal fissure and might need a second surgery . recovering frm my hemorroid surgery is hel. the pain is almost unbearable and i cannot imagine going through another surgery!
now everytime i have my BM there will be a line of blood at my stool. it didnt hurt as bad but the sight of blood can really put me down. the feeling everytime i get out frm the toilet can really crushed my spirit for the whole day (and at the moment the bleeding is like almost every day) i long for the day that i can go to the toilet without seeing red.
i feel so frustrated and tired. sometime i am really convinced that i am sinking into depression. i'm trying very hard to fight the negative feeling. i have 5 children, the youngest is only 1 and 2 years old. i often woke up at night watching them sleep and cry myself to sleep again. dealing from hemorroids to anal fissure i have lost a good 10kg in the past 2months. i really want to avoid surgery again, i do all the necessaries from sitz bath, to galons of plain water, oitment and oats to fibergel.. but at the moment nothing really work.
my doctor says if i didnt do the surgery i will have skin tact, frankly i dont mind skin tact as long as there's no blood.