jr2: {{{BOWING}}}} BRAVO to a very thoughtful, reasoned and rational reply. You said everything I was thinking but would not have been able to articulate so well. I love how you addressed the despair as REAL and did so without a shred of shame or drama toward anybody experiencing such despair. Your words are a gift. So encouraging! I've only been dealing with this for a month and can only imagine what others feel after dealing for MANY months or YEARS and numerous failed therapies. The doc I saw (first time today) said this pain is one of the top 3 pains identified in the medical community. I believe the deep despair is natural and your response was so incredibly focused and sincere. Kudos! And kudos to the original poster for having the courage to share such deeply personal thoughts and fears. I think any of us can benefit from this exchange.

BellaAyla,
Thank you for your kind, supportive words. It is always really helpful to hear some feedback about something that sounded useful to someone.
And wow, thank you for sharing what your doctor said. It is really nice to know there are actually doctors out there taking this pain seriously, and validating the level of suffering it causes. It is really encouraging to hear that! I hope there is a good plan in place for you to get you on the road to healing as quickly as possible.
NAKHTI,
How are you doing? Is your latest flare easing up at all for you?

I would just like to second what BellaAyla said jr2....
You always give a very informed, articulate, empathic reply to every post you answer. You have been very helpful and supportive to me, and for that I am very thankful to you. You have a whole host of your own problems but always find time to give others hope and encouragement.

OMB xxx

Very well said OMB. I couldn't agree more, same goes for you of course OMB!
I hope you are feeling a bit better too Nakhti......one day at a time sounds good to me.

Thanks Fitch...... You too are a very supportive, compassionate poster whose input I value greatly! Xxxxx
Naihati.... How are you feeling...... Any better?

OMB xx

I am doing somewhat better everybody, despite a lot of financial stress I am under lately!!!! Just hope this stress doesn't effect my bowels or my AF is all... Guess I just have to take it one day at a time I guess?? :-|

Nakhti,
so glad you're doing some better, but so sorry to hear about the added stress. I hope things improve on all fronts for you.
Thanks everyone for your comments. There are so many supportive, giving people on this board. It really is a wonderful community when you consider why we're all here. Thnk you to everyone for being so generous and supportive of everyone. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes those long days and nights and terror over the bathroom even just a little more bearable.

N you are not alone with your thoughts. I'm an old retired guy who lives on his own and has had a good life and this damned affliction had me looking for a way out too.
It's the not knowing that's the big problem and the medics don't give a person the overall care and information that would help you get better.
Thankfully approx. 16 weeks post-op I would appear to be on the mend although a couple of good days can be followed by a step back but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Any info I've picked up on the problem has come from this site so hang on in there cos you are in good company.
Make the best you can of Christmas folks - giviti

Iv only had this problem 4 months but have already had those thoughts. I think most people dealing with this do because you just feel so trapped in your own body. I had botox last week and think i was expecting a miracle cure but i keep having a good talk to myself and thinking about my family. This is my first post and im hoping we can all help each other. Hang on in there im sure we will find a cure. xxx

I can honestly say I have thought about suicide so many time since my AF. It would seem that I would be so much better off than being in this pain. I've never felt pain in my life that is as bad as an AF. I am miserable and everyone around me is miserable, bc of me. I don't know your religious beliefs, but pray on it and ask for the strength to overcome this. I hope it gets better for you. It kind of helps me to keep telling myself that I will NOT let this AF rule my life. Sending hugs to you my dear.