Totally fed up

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Totally fed up

Postby felix » 24 Feb 2016, 13:37

Have apparently healed fissure but keep getting sporadic burning with bm, aching and soreness... So miserable of it all and just don't know whether to go back to speciallist... I am terrified it is not healed really or that I will have to deal with this forever. My bloody gp will not give me oestrogen, which I think would help as there is definitely an hormonal element and has instead suggested I try the pill. I have just had a day of intermittent pain, tenseness and soreness with burning when I had a second poo at work.. Can scar/ nerve issues cause fissure like pain? What kind of pain is nerve pain and does it ever go?
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby SurvivorX » 24 Feb 2016, 18:16

Ive been asking myself the same thing for the last 2 years. Nerve damage pain - does it ever go away?
I had a couple of fistula + fissure operations - only the last one was successful. I was told the continuing pain is nerve damage from all these operations. Although the fissure is finally closed and the fistula is cut out the nerves I was told need at least a year to heal. Im 3 months post op - pain is still constant and unbearable at times - and I still hope nerve damage pain will eventually go away some day.
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby felix » 25 Feb 2016, 13:54

God it's pants! I am so over it all, just had another day of pain and convinced myself I gave retorn but can't see anything.. I really don't know how this is ever going to end and can't take any more of it, I feel bloody hopeless
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby SurvivorX » 25 Feb 2016, 14:14

Hopeless is a common word on this forum. And it`s easy to say ""Dont lose hope"", coming from someone who has it. Like you I feel hopeless very often and I don`t even want to mention the things going through my mind throughout these 2 horrible years. What gave me strength to survive is not my iron will - I dont consider myself a strong person - but family - I want to live and see my child grow despite the pain.
I hope you have someone in your life to rely on at these hard times - Im sure you`ll make it as long as you have your beloved ones near.

Ps. Dont ever look at it in the mirror - looking at it every 5 minutes gave me hernia from all the stress, anxiety and panic attacks and almost drove me to a mental condition. I had to remove all the mirrors from the house to protect myself from going psychotic over this. Leave looking at it to doctors only.
Last edited by SurvivorX on 25 Feb 2016, 16:37, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby Savaici » 25 Feb 2016, 14:16

You could try dilation, Felix. It's the only thing that worked for me in the end. it's residual nerve pain and continuing tightness of the internal spincter that does it. I did dilation for a year, off and on...

It's quite common to have bad days with this; we all do :smilyhug: We know that you have been working with your CRS, and you are 'cured' so think it is probably residual pain (so common with damaged nerves) that is your last problem. I know that you have not had flap surgery (far as I remember) but you might like to read Suzyljank's topics to get an idea how she managed her life after surgery.
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby felix » 25 Feb 2016, 15:35

:thankyou: you guys are so kind! I have two lovely kids and a fantastic husband so totally have support but this issue has sent me crazy!!
I think you are right about mirrors and checking, it has def become a bit obsessive for me and I thnknis feeding the problem.
Sav, I think you are prob right about pain, although sometimes it feels like a fissure and then next day fine again...my CRS was a bit blase and because my fissure was visab!e to him and then he saw it healed, he doesn't understand why I am still going on about it!!
I was thinking of trying dilation as it seems like the muscle gets tight sometimes and then the soreness, burning starts uo . I am quite proactive normally but have been at a standstill with this!
I had a period where it was so much better so just want to get back there
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby SurvivorX » 25 Feb 2016, 16:40

Savaici do you by chance have some link for self dilation instructions?
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby Savaici » 25 Feb 2016, 21:30

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Re: Totally fed up

Postby felix » 26 Feb 2016, 16:40

So just to remind myself really, my period came today and bam, no more pain, can feel in there and nothing hurts so I think the theory about nerve damage and muscle weirdness is spot on and certain points of my cycle flare it all up. I can't imagine that if I had retore it would feel suddenly totally normal less than 12 hours later!! Oh life used to be so much less complicated before this!
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Re: Totally fed up

Postby SurvivorX » 27 Feb 2016, 03:33

Hi Felix - glad youre feeling better - I hope you continue to inform us on your improvement.
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