You know how you always read these weird stories on the internet about incredible situations but you never really share yours?
Well, I have an extremely personal story that I'll be sharing, I am wearing the mask of anonimty which allows me to post all the truth, just truth, truth fully. Please respect how hard this is for me. I'll skim fast through the personal details and try to keep it all around the "pooping problems". It is so sad that poop is one of those taboo subjects that people rarely talk about, it results in so much disinformation.
I grew up pretty poor, this meant pretty bad food, I have grown my whole life since I was a little kid, since I know I exist being constipated, for me, that was what defined life. Now here comes the "sadder" part, I didn't get along well with my parents and they somehow didn't pay much attention to my problems or this problem whenever I talked about it. I grew up being terrified of pooping, being that thing which must be postponed for as much as possible because of the pain. I went on until the 3'rd grade with very few incidents (there were a few periods longer than 1 month when I held it in).
In september 13 (I still remember the exact date) just before I started 3'rd grade, I pooped a very big and hard one, it has hurt me tromendously, It has scared me of pooping so much that I have spent the next FIVE years avoiding poop at ALL COSTS, I will later find out that I had an anal fissure, but I couldn't talk about it to my parents and I was very shy, I didn't have any friends and didn't trust any adults, I was extremely embarassed of this.
The next five years would define my entire childhood (up until 8'th grade) I wouldn't poop, at all. I would just sit down and hold it in for as much as possible, I would have bowl movement at least 5 times/hour. And every time, as much as I would try to hold it in, a little bit of it would slip by and end up in my underwear. Every single morning I would clean up my underwear and use a new one, I still couldn't poop.I would have to walk off from school and stop every 5 minutes, sit down on my leg and pretend to tie my shoes for 1-2 minutes. I could not emphasize how bad this has affected my childhood, how I went through school, gym classes, events, sleeping with having 5-10 bowl movements per hour. Every hour. How feeling so fat and uncomfortable every living second for five years straight. To be frank I cannot explain to myself how I even survived that. I spent those 5 years expecting and hoping that I would die, I didn't care about school or anything like that I knew that I'll probably die young and soon.
Through a few supernatural experiences I got to meet God(If you're an atheist, I accept and respect that,I have plenty of atheist friends, I'm just telling my story through my point of view). God apparently didn't like the situation I was in, He had a plan of solving my problems and forcing me to get proper knowledge and information to maintain myself (contrary to popular belief, God values knowledge and wisdom higher than yelling at people to accept Christ, and anyone who spends their life being stupid have most certainly not met Christ, I'll step down the God part for now.
Little time later something incredible happened, as much as I held it in, as much as I struggled and tried, somehow, when I was having a shower my muscles just went numb instantly and I was right above the toilet so I had no choice but to sit down (remember, I had still no idea what's happening with me, I was a lonely kid) and after five years I pooped directly for the first time and it didn't hurt, if I were to estimate I've let out a mass that could fill a cube 20 cm wide, I had a lot held up in my and to my surprise it was all soft. I still didn't trust pooping and after three days the very same thing happened again, no pain, about the same quantity. And since then I started learning more and more about this, I've started using the internet, it's been a few years since then and I am back in a tight spot.
My current situation is like it goes: I have been using dulcolax for the last 11-12 months. Every single time there would be blood in my stool, but I would only use 2 pills before I went to sleep (I would do this weekly or at least once every two weeks). Now after a year I'm using 3/BM. Every week or two. (I have about 95 kg's and I'm 1,92 meters tall).
My problem is that I don't know for sure what to do nor am I aware of my full problem. I do not have BM's naturally, I could go on for 4-5 days until my very first BM would come. That's why I always use dulcolax, before discovering dulcolax I was forcing myself every week and it would hurt a lot. Now it still hurts a lot but I can poop fast and effortless. Today I had a stool which was very hard at first and followed a bit soft, I felt like they were big balls, my anus repeteadly closing and opening 3-4 times and that has most likely caused me an anal fissure, it has been at least 8 hours and it still hurts an awful lot. I still feel congested but I cannot poop because of the anal pain.
How should I get my BM's to normal? I intend to be extremely careful with what I eat now, eating only fiber-rich food and drinking hot coffee on an empty stomach every morning. The problem is even if I get a soft stool I don't have a BM, and by the time I have a BM the first stool is already hard which causes my anal fissure to open again, if you get my dilemma.
Right now I'm on extreme dietary watch and using Procto-Glyvenol gel to ease the pain and the fissure and probably the hemoroids. Looking forward to your advices, and I know I should've probably seen a doctor by now but they cost a lot of money around here and I don't have money. I barely started working and I'm very glad I can afford to buy fruits and vegetables and healthy food!
Let me know if you have any questions on my experience, I can give more details on those 5 terrible years, on the meeting God part (it's just one of the moments, I have many other reasons and actual supernatural experiences, because the ones I talked here are mostly poop-related and could also be exaplained through luck and chance)