Hey guys,
I don't want to be the downer of the day, but I sure could use a little moral support. As many of you know, I had LIS last Monday. Almost a week post-op, and I feel exactly as lousy as I did pre-op. After two blissful toothpaste-y BMs, they are back to their usual consistency. Not too hard for a regular bum, but too hard for this broken bum. As a result, I think I keep re-tearing each morning. The past two mornings I have spied a red chili-flake sized piece of bloody tissue mingled in the stool- not at all a large amount, but as sign, I think, that I'm just not healing. Post-LIS the spasms are reduced in severity and frequency, but they're still there and make me want to cry. I don't know what to do... I'm so depressed and really just want to give up. I know some of you have been through far worse, and that makes me feel like a huge annoying whiner. You guys are so strong. I don't know how you do it.
I meet with my CRS on Tuesday for a post-op. We'll see what he says. In the meantime, I'll keep pounding the stool softeners, Miralax, water, fruit and veg. I've been externally applying Vaseline, which seems to provide modest relief for the skin dryness (from all the bathing). I don't really know the best way to internally apply it- even the slightest touch to the opening of the anus provides excruciating pain. Any tips you guys might have would be hugely appreciated!
On a lighter note, the message board made its way into my dreams last night. So you guys are officially a big part of my life.
Hugs, ctf