For the last year I have been reading this forum and have not only learned so much from you all but also found comfort that I am not alone in this horrible world of fissures.
I am at a crossroads in my journey and am looking for advice or even just some support – hoping someone can help.
A brief history of me is (2.5yr time span);
* misdiagnosed as hemmoroids – treatment failed, symptoms worsened
* diagnosed with fissure – prescribed diltiazem cream 2x/day, Metamucil, 200mg colace/day
* rectal pain worsened – prescribed xylocaine/ketamine/diclofenac cream along with diltiazem
* pain worsened, ended up in ER desperate for pain control – prescribed Percocet
* lactulose added to the daily med mix (so gross)
* referred to CRS – assessed, diltiazem up to 3/day and diclofenac removed (no change)
* colonoscopy to rule out crohns – negative
* MRI to rule out anal mass – negative
* surgery booked for LIS (after finally coming to terms that this was the right decision) – surgery stopped mid OR as CRS didn’t like the look of the fissures- says they are “atypical in size, placement and healing properties”, biopsies taken, butt packed and sent home… query crohns again or cancer again. CRS worried about healing if positive for crohns.
Met with the CRS today… biopsies are negative for cancer cells :D but inconclusive for Crohns. CRS says there is some inflammation but not enough for a definitive diagnosis for Crohns. Says it could be or could not be the start of a diagnosis for Crohns that may or may not come to flourish in a year or two… but given my intense rectal pain right now he would recommend the LIS. He is going to speak to another CRS to discuss my options and his recommendations further to make sure he hasn’t missed anything but I cant get this feeling out of my head that I am playing Russian Roulette with my health at this point. If I go ahead with the LIS it might work or it might not… and worst case senerio I don’t heal from it because in fact I might have Crohns.
How crazy is it that today I just wanted to ask for a temporary colostomy.
I haven’t eaten a thing in weeks for fear of what goes in must come out – even with all these meds the pain is still so intense.
I am beyond frustrated, confused and ready to give up. I don't even feel like the CRS is confident in his recommendations. :( I would love to hear any of your words of wisdom, experience or advice to help get me through this.
Thanks in advance!

Firstly, hi..... And welcome to the board!
Secondly, wow.... What a lot you have been through, and what a roller coaster of emotions you must be going through!!
The one thing I would say is if you don't feel confident in this crs's treatment, get a second opinion. I am on my third crs, and this one is the one that makes total sense to me with his treatment plan. You need to feel safe and confident with your crs and any surgeries you are willing to put yourself through
Try to eat too.... You are on a lot of meds, and you definitely need food in your stomach or you may hurt yourself further. Just little and often. Maybe some soup, fish and steamed veg, porridge etc.
And don't worry... Your not crazy.... I think most of us over the year of suffering mark have seriously considered a colostomy!!

OMB x.

HI MangoMonica,
sorry you have gone through so much, and still suffering.
I second OMB on the fact that you need to get a second opinion.Lots of people on here have gone through a few CRS before finding the right one.
The hell of these Fissures is enough to drive anyone mad, even though we aren't mad, we certainly feel like it.
Can you take some time out from work, to try and get the pain under control? I have, and this has helped. I didn't want to get out of bed at one point because i couldn't face another day of pain with these damn Fissures.. But hang on in there, there is hope and feel free to vent here!!!

Thanks OMB and Rachael!
yes, I agree I need to see another CRS (even for a second opinion on my biopsy results)... but I always worry that this isn't always welcomed by some doctors in Canada... I will try! I am taking some time off (was booked off for two weeks for healing from the first planned LIS) and after struggling for years with this, I can say being off work has eased a bit of the stress from this all... the CRS was nice enough to write me off work until healed from the planned second LIS. I am a registered nurse and to be honest its really hard to care for others when your falling apart yourself.
I hate talking about this problem with peeps who have no idea about any of this... I feel they don't get it and who wants to talk about their rear end at the best of times. Anyone have any good ways to talk about this with others or what to say when they say..."so whats wrong with you?".
Thank god for this forum!

Hey mangomonica
You could say something like:
"I have a bad cut on my bottom that makes it hard to do the number 2. Its like a bad cut on your finger but mine is down there".
Tell them to imagine rubbing sandpaper on a bad cut finger and that this is only 1/5 of the discomfort you feel.
Something along those lines. I know its funny saying anal or butt or even fissure without someone looking sideways at you.
HTH GL

Hi Mangomonica, looks like you've been through so much...we def understand you here..the pain of fissures can be so intense they begin to effect our emotions, work life, ability to concentrate, and for me even my out look on life. I too have said I rather have a colostomy than keep using my butt to poo. I too also think you should seek a second opinion with another crs. It can take a while before you find a good crs. I'm on my 4th crs..feel like so many people have looked at my butt. Hope you find a good crs that is not only good but empathetic..hope you find some comfort in this forum..take care and keep us posted.

Your pain levels sound a lot like mine, only that I chickened out from going to ER cause I was afraid of what they might wanna do to me other than painkillers. Colostomy, yes, frequent thought, fantasized a lot about it while in agony. What worked for me or at least stopped those unreal pain levels was botox, actually Dysport. I see people here living in that pain for months/years, I honestly don't know how can you guys take it for so long. It's only been 4 weeks for me, but I was mostly in bed either in tears or recovering between two BMs, unable to go to work nor do anything around the house.
Now that you say how long you've been through this, I'm glad my fissure didn't happen while I lived in Canada. Great doctors, great service, but because it's free everyone is in line for something so you can very well die in pain before you get to see a doctor, with those months long waiting times for an appointment.

Update: Second opinion done to review my biopsy results with another CRS. OR has been booked for next week for LIS attempt #2. Both CRS will be doing the surgery - the new CRS wants to see the problems first hand. Still super nervous as there is a big chance that this might not work due to the possibility of a dx. of perianal crohns loomming in the wings. Trying to stay positive and hope the LIS will be the answer to my prayers. I will deal with all that other drama if it happens - later.
Just put one foot in front of the other - and repeat!
Thanks everyone for all your support and kind words!javascript:emoticonp('')

So glad you have another pair of eyes on this.
Keep us posted, and fingers crossed this time it sorts you out.

Are you scared of the surgery? Because if you read the literature on pub med, it actually works really well...and my dr told me the recovery time in two weeks. Way less time than healing naturally.