17 days post/op- blood all this week. And the pain is just about the same as it was prior to having this surgery. The brief reprieve I had from pain post pooping has now entirely worn off and I'd say I'm right back where I started. To boot I officially lost my job. CRS doesn't want to see me for another month, and I'll continue HBOT in the interim since it seems to be covered by insurance.

So sorry to hear this. What did the CRS say? Why won't he see you?

He said he wouldn't do anything to this fresh wound for at least six weeks anyway, so I have to just wait and see. I agree with him, as an exam is just going to spread the wound open again anyway. I didn't have constipation this week, so I don't really feel like it was anything I could've avoided. I just had that one day, Monday, where there was a little push required to get things moving, but again, I wouldn't consider that constipation at all. 99% of days, I just breathe in and out like Lamaze and the poop just slides right out. I can't do any better than that... It's only 2.5 weeks, so I am going to try to reserve judgment for now. How are you Apes? Do you feel that you've healed yet or are you on your way?

That makes sense, I went for my follow up and would not let my CRS IN. it just didn't make sense to peek in and risk something going wrong. I felt if it's healing leave it alone and if it's not leave it alone. It's not like she was going to anything else either way. The doctor wasn't happy with my decision but it's my body. I'm doing really well, feel like I'm healing. Only have discomfort but I think that us all do to hemmy. Still watching diet, and bathing and showering after BM, whenever I can. Sorry about your job, but you have heal first. Stay in touch, we really care.

I'm sorry to hear that the pain and blood is back. Please try not to worry about the job for now. I hope you get all the support you need at this difficult time from your loved ones as well as us, of course.
My psychologist at Mayo really stressed that mind and body are one and healing has to begin at both ends. I truly hope that giving it some more time will solve your problems for good. So so hard to be patient though.

Big negative on the "family" support- but that's OK, I really appreciate the support I get from you all, especially when I am really down. My HBOT doctor told me that I've been through too much too and suggested counseling, but I literally am so near bankruptcy that I don't think that I could afford the co-pays for weekly counseling unfortunately. I am now 18 days post/op and bled profusely with this mornings BM which was a big log unfortunately again, but I bled all week so it's not like I really could've set myself back anyway. I went to HBOT again today, that makes 5 treatments in a row. If I get to about 30 days post/op without seeing significant progress i.e. no more blood, less pain, etc., I'll go back to my old surgeon and tell him to start making plans for another, bigger flap/botox. I'm really convinced that I have a surgical defect and not a fissure. My wound is too wide, and my anus is too scarred up already for the wound to close and for the new scar to hold its own long enough to heal. The Kenalog guy even said he couldn't fit the usual retractors in my butt because of the scarring. I looked in my records and found that has been the case with my last surgery too. I was like DUHH.. thats what we call stenosis. He gave me that doctor "yes,no" bullshit that they must teach you in medical school right after they teach you to contradict everything the last doctor said... Anyway, If this wound healed, my asshole would be even smaller, which is probably what starts to happen when the blood stops for a few days. Then, pain increases as the wound heals and contracts, and my anal diameter shrinks to the point where the stenosis is too severe and a BM splits it right open again: i.e. the only way my asshole is wide enough to poop right now is WITH this open wound. So wound heals>asshole shrinks>wound breaks>repeat. You don't need to go to medical school to see the logic, and to realize that this is NOT what happens to someone with a simple fissure caused by constipation. I would LOVE the opportunity to fix this myself because I know I could; but alas, I cannot reach my own ass. But I'm not going to listen to doctors ever again. I've diagnosed myself correctly 100% of the time so far in my life, and my doctors have an abysmal record.

I would be mad at these idiot doctors too. From the sound of it, looks like they fucked up big time with you. Would you consider starting afresh with a completely new but highly recommended doctor? May be just have a new set of eyes with no previous bias look at the whole situation rather than go back to the same doctors who created this mess to begin with? I am not sure about the logistics and all of this for you but I would HIGHLY recommend the Mayo. Clinic. My experience was nothing short of super efficient and very very empathetic doctors. Although, I got no treatment there, but the very first doc I met, diagnosed me correctly by barely even sticking anything painful up my butt. These guys are very experienced just because of the sheer volume of patients they see and the amazing databases they maintain. You will be taken care of once you are there. I was thee for 5 days and all my appointments, tests etc. we're set up by the staff. I didn't have to lift a finger. They also have a great iPhone app that is updated with all the test results, blood work, doctor notes promptly.
Please think about it. It is absolutely ridiculous to go on suffering at the hands of these arrogant morons time and again.

Hi SSK, Thanks for the sympathy. I am happy to give Mayo a shot. Do you know if I have to go to Minnesota or is there somewhere closer I can go? I do not have much money, but I do have health insurance and a car...so I am certainly open to letting some fresh eyes take a fresh look. If it is in Minnesota, unfortunately I'd never be able to afford the flight, but maybe there is a closer facility. I'll look into it. I'd take your advice over a doctors any day.

I've been to the one in Minnesota. I think there are two more locations in Florida and Phoenix. Not sure if anything closer exists though.
I really hope you find a suitable way to deal with this issue!

Thanks. You'd think NYC would be advanced enough to heal such a trivial problem!!!! It's so nuts. As much as it pains me to say anything nice about an MD, Feingold was really a nice guy and he did say that although my reasoning is logical and a larger surgery may very well be the only way I heal, he wouldn't do it without at least trying the kenalog, given it's success rate and lower risk profile. The one doctor I'm really pissed at is that anesthesiologist who was such a complete arrogant dick that I'll have to tell him to his face at some point. He gave me General Anesthesia for a 15 minute minor surgical procedure, even after I told him I have a heart condition and I've had literally 10 other procedures done with just colonoscopy-level sedation that all went fine, including my hemmie surgery, my flap, my LIS, 4x botox, etc. etc. He says, "Well, you are young, I wouldn't anticipate any problems at all." I literally said, "I'm almost always the exception to that rule." And I had constant palpitations for 2 weeks afterwards from the moment I woke up in recovery. My recovery nurse, who is a fucking saint, was even worried and I had to tell her that I get them and I'm used to it. All could've been avoided if Mr. MD would've read the fucking old chart and just said, "Why not just give him the same light sedation he's had for the last 10 procedures?" But no, he had to intubate me and give me god knows what drugs because he went to medical school blah blah. If I had open heart surgery, sure, I'd understand.