Hello MPB and all,
Today is the day for my weekly update. Traveled to 2 countries over the past week again - made it a mixture of pleasure and work. Caught up with friends and family everywhere. Different time zones and different food so quite some experimenting . Though I went a little wayward I ate mostly good stuff - salad everywhere for sure. Still feel good mostly pain free though some days still mild pain.
I feel confident about travel again and am now kind of glad it happened.
I am staying positive and happy most days. Planning my colace and miralax in a timely fashion wherever I am.
But mostly it's the power of the mind at this point - if I am relaxed - it helps.
Hugs to MPB will follow with weekly update soon.

Today was pain and bleeding again. Retear likely happened . Back from travel trip 3 which was really rough and dehydrating. More bleeding than anytime recently. Bracing myself for a tough time ahead.

Oh no,
Maybe it was more a stretch than a retear, hopefully things settle down quickly for you and aren't as bad as you think they will be.
It's so hard when this happens but you have come so far and healed so much that hopefully the pain will not be too high.
Now your back home you can get back to the things that you know work really well for you.
Take care

Hi there, my trips have finally ended. Mexico and two trips to different countries in Asia and now back home. Different time zones, different foods , sometimes not enough access to things that are good for me. I am home now and planning for my recovery again. Told myself there will be good and bad stints. I don't really know the different between a retear and a stretch but I do know that my attitude has a part to play . Stress and anxiety and then when bad things happen with me fissure more disappointment making it worse. I had let up on Yoga and meditation and my whole cycle of day was off. Often not easy wifi connectivity to chat with friends in this forum. I am glad to be home - cancelled trips for the rest of this year and am going to focus on my re- recovery.
MPB glad to hear from you as always. Plan to see my CRS today and will update diary.

Gosh you are so brave, I could not do that amount of travel just thinking about staying away from home without my routine. It's hard as we need to live as much a normal life as possible but still accepting that our bodies are healing and are not how they used to be. I can feel my sphincter stretching more now as the Botox wears off but know it's not a retear as there are no spasm like feeling which I'm assuming a new tear would cause as the first time it tore I quite frankly knew about it from the next day due to the never before experienced level of pain. I guess it's always going to be super sensitive down there and I'm beginning to realise that discomfort may be my new normal.
Really hope the CRS visit goes well fingers crossed

CRS visit done - not exactly what I had hoped. Last visit she said my posterior one looked good and my anterior was at 75% recovery. Now the anterior one is a little worse at 70% or so. Frankly was not sure what to expect so I am not too discouraged I guess. She feels travel hurt it and that I am overthinking the fissure. She advised me to take a month to readhere to routines and see where that takes me . Sigh - another Botox advised if I don't improve to 90%. Oh well.
Hugs to you MPB

Oh Hun that's not great but...not terrible at least it's not a total retear your not back to square one your way more than 50% healed and you know what to do to get to the other 30
If you do need another Botox that's not so bad I would have another just for the level of freedom and pain relief it's given me even if there was no healing from it lol.
I'm sure now the travel is done you will get to that 90 without the aid of the Botox as you were feeling much improved for quite a while. You did it once so your body knows what to do this time.
Hugs back take care

Yes I think you are right. Believing is everything and it's not hard really. Some days make it seem impossible but the good days we have both had make normalcy a reality. I am backward a few steps maybe more than a few but so what - I do know how to get better
Have a good weekend friend.

Hope this week has been good so far now your back at home. We all have good and bad days and for the moment I'm trying less to focus on complete healing and just accepting. Maybe when I have LIS that attitude may change but not now. You managed so well before that now the travel is done you will get there again and it's just a matter of patience and accepting your body needs a little extra time.
Hugs

That's really true. As I travelled through I saw so many with really serious problems - homelessness , hunger which I don't see that starkly everyday in life here though it does exist . Travel always opens my mind ( though I much rather prefer travel for pleasure and when fissure free) .
I am taking a slow up and down path to recovery - but I'll live!
Hugs back dear MPB