Thanks OMB.
Week 21 since Botox.... No pain on BM, but the annoying throb travelling to my lady bits is annoying me! What the heck is it. I think it has something to do with the eleven o clock monster. That is where this weird feeling comes from. I have had it for the past few days on and off! Need to ask the CRS. Waiting on the appointment. Have cut the fibre down and my BM is more like a hosepipe now. Still on a scale 4 but slightly smaller and still soft.
Me wants the precious healing.....

Hi lovely, :) 
Just got back from my hols and it's great to read that nothing has gotten any worse for you.....You sound like you are doing pretty damn well actually!! and that precious healing will come with time for sure....
Being away sure puts things into perspective! In 10 days, I thought about my bottom less than a handful of times......
I dealt with much harder & larger stools whilst adjusting and first there, and diahrrohea on my return (Turkish food poisoning or something! LOL....) but nothing is affecting my bum anymore, so I now have final confidence that this is all beatable for sure. I never used Vaseline/ after creams and in the worst case scenario, had to dab with toilet roll.....
I ate a fabulous diet of fish/ chicken/ fruits/ vegetables - eliminated bread completely, drank lots of beer, even managed ice cream & a few chips and no issues.......the fact I was so relaxed, I never strained once, never forced a thing and even with the harder poops, no issues - everything fell out soft with no help from me at all. These things are key!! and I needed a holiday to further prove that to myself. It really helps they have the little water sprays in built into the Turkish toilets - you just turn a little tap after pooping and it sprays a jet of water directly into your bottom to clean it all up. Bloody fab!!! I am going to look at getting one installed onto our toilet!!.............
I guess the nutshell is you are doing ABSOLUTELY ok!!!!
Never force anything, you are obviously eating all the right stuff and please book yourself a holiday ( I think you said you were thinking about it) !! It will be the best step you take - get away from it all, your environment, your bathroom!. Take your wipes and what you feel you need to help you through.....it will help you destress a LOT and take you away from your constant routine & thought process....
I am now 100% and finally convinced that although the recovery process is long, once you get there and with bum TLC forever, you will be normal again! and you can stay that way too x x x x x x x x

Hey Rachael 1984
Sounds good that your "righting the ship".
I was wondering, you say that your mostly producing bristol 4's and that you don't think it will change from that. How are those bristol 4's coming out? Do you find yourself pushing a bit more than you would like, or are those 4's pretty much falling out with minimal pushing?
Yeah, it sounds like the AF position really determines whether your shooting pain will travel to your "lady bits" or not. It will be interesting to know what the CRS says.
Like ETO just mentioned, I too just came back from a mini vacation where dinners and eating were the "order" of the days. And thankfully I had zero issues.
We do hope that this will give you some hope and consolation that you too can and will some day be totally pain free and ready to take on the world again, and any buffet for that matter :) ,that is with a new set of arsenals if you know what I mean.
Hang tough... 

Rachael.....  glad everything is mostly good
ETO... So happy you had a great holiday with no issues whatsoever!!....... And you too buttastic!!
   

OMB - You're lovely :) x

Hello everyone.....
ETO, so pleased you had a good holiday! Beer! Chips and Ice Cream! Wow,yummy. Yes I think it would be a great idea to install all of those toilets they have in Turkey over here! Clean up and go! I am hoping that I am slowly healing... I have had a breakthrough, when I am having a second BM now, it isn't half as bad as it was before! I get some irritation and throbbing, but dare i say, it seems to be going in the right direction. You are so supportive and I love you. 
Hey BT, thanks for your encouragement. When I have a BM I don't push at all, if it ain't coming out, I don't go! I have learnt to just let it slip out. I do think my diet is playing a big role, and I have continued to take more magnesium, and back to 1 Movicol a day. The hosepipe size BM doesn't seem to cause much irritation.If it is slightly bigger it does annoy me and that is when I get the weird lady bits pain! Maybe it is the scar tissue stretching?. So glad you enjoyed your holiday, I think I might book to go away in December now! I had such a rotten Christmas last year! I was so miserable and in pain, I can't even remember any of it.  
OMB, I second ETO, you are lovely.
 

Aah.... Thanks guys...... It just makes me happy to read that you're getting your lives back and enjoying things... Bum pain free!!!!!
    

 
Just checking in you "ARE" healing. Xx

Hi Rachael,
So happy to read your getting back on track 😊. I think the scar tissue causes a lot of irritation especially if you have a larger BM or a 2nd one. Hang in there  

Whoop whoop! Keep going Rach! Sounds like you're going in the right direction!
Welsh x