Tanya...
Totally know what you mean about the stress leading up to the decision, and the relief once it's made and done, regardless of whether it turns out the way you hope for or not. It's hard when you don't have a 100% on-board cheerleader to prop you up during your own time of doubt and stress while you are undergoing treatment. You need all the positive juju that can possibly be mustered up by everyone around you, especially now.
Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, and am still really believing in this as a way to healing for you. when the wiggly doubts happen, just push them away for now. Tell yourself every day you are healing, you are healing, you are healing. Imagine healthy healing and intact healthy pink skin. In the past I never put much stock in doing things like that as it felt like I was just lying to myself. But I've found over the last couple of weeks by doing this regularly, and especially when the negativity is setting in, that it is making the mental aspect of living with this every day feel a bit lighter.
More healing hugs and best wishes for steady improvement.