My surgery is happening on a Thursday and I am probably going to have to get back to school by Monday or Tuesday. The good thing is that I don't have to be at school for more than about 3-4 hours a day so I hope I can survive it.
It really is hard for me to study. I am behind in my readings for my classes because all I want to do is lay down and sleep. =/
Sometimes I have to strain and that really hurts, but other times it is pretty easy to go, yet I still have a bit of pain when it is easy to go.
I was doing fine for a couple weeks and then this last Sat. I had a very rough/large BM and that is what retore the fissure. I thought I was doing so well.. *sigh*

Well, the bright side of this all is that now you will be doing something to get it fixed finally. Sometimes it takes something getting worse before we take the steps to make it better.
I just wish the doctor would be a bit more proactive about managing your pain.
Do you go to the bathroom more than once a day? Does getting in the tub afterwards help? Did he prescribed any diltiazem or other cream to help relax the anus? I am on the diltiazem and that seemed to help and for some people it helps pretty quickly though it is something you have to use pretty consistently. Had you seen a doctor about your AF before getting to the point of surgery? I had another doctor prescribed a low dose of valium to help relax the sphincter muscle. I wonder if your doctor would do that. It also might help you sleep a bit too.
What is your major?
Lecia

After seeing my primary physician a bunch of times and her finally realizing that the pain was not going away, she referred me to see the specialist.
When I first saw him he prescribed the diltiazem and it helped a bit, but then the fissure pain came back after a couple weeks. So then I saw him again and he decided that I should have surgery. I asked him if he would prescribe the diltiazem gel again since my surgery wasn't going to be a for a while, but he said no.
I usually go to the bathroom 2-3 times a day and sitting in a sitz bath can help a bit.
I am majoring in psychology and hope to go on and get my master's in marital and family therapy.

It sounds like you are on the right track since you've tried the cream and have given it time to heal on its own. It makes sense to be getting the surgery if the other stuff doesn't work and you are in such agony.
I wish you didn't have to go to the bathroom so often. It must be tough to recover and then have to go through the whole bathroom ordeal again. Do you diarrhea at all or is this just normal for you?
It's too bad you can't take a heating pad to class with you. Maybe you can take a pad or something soft so protect your hiney. I have a pillow that has the center cut out down the middle that I use when I drive. I posted about it on the general anal fissure board for the website if you want to check on it there. If you can stay off your bottom, do you think that would help?
I have my laptop on my bed and I lie on my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows and type that way. My elbows are all rough from this but it keeps the pressure off my butt.
I was a Psych major for a few years. I thought Experimental and Neurological Psych classes were the hardest!
Do you use any epsom salts in the tub? I found that it did make a difference.
Anyway, you will get through this. I think the surgery will be a breeze compared to what you are dealing with now!
Take care,
Lecia

No, I don't really have any diarrhea. I usually go once in the morning and once in the afternoon/evening. However it does vary.
I'm a bit embarassed to take any heating pads or anything like that with me to class, but luckily my car has seat warmers and I turn those on and it toasts my butt. =)
Oh yea, Neuro Psych was pretty bad! I'm glad I'm done with that class.
I actually haven't use Epsom salts before. I'll give it a try.
I was also wondering when and how many flax seed oil capsules you take.
Thanks Lecia!
Best,
Anita

Hey Anita,
I take 3 flax seed oil tablets a day in the pm. It really does help lube things down there so it kind of slips out. Maybe start with 1 and see how you do because it can make you have loose stools if you take too much and I don't want that to happen to you.
I like the nutty taste of flax seed oil and use it sometimes for stirfry or salads. You can even just take a swig (tablespoon) in the am and pm. Just start slowly and see how your body does.
I really like taking a supplement from Andrew Lessman called Fibermucil. It has fiber and acidopholis and really has helped me to establish a good bathroom routine. I got mine off of HSN.com.
And if you eat a big bowl of All bran buds once a day that will really get your fiber up there so you can eat something you like in between.
What a drag to have to think about all these things at your age, huh? Are you a senior this year?
Lecia

I'll start with taking two capsules and see what happens.
It really has become difficult for me to hang out with my boyfriend/friends. I have all these things planned that need to be done, but I have so much trouble getting them done because of the pain. I wish I could live my life like a normal 20 some year old.
Yes, I am a senior this year. =)

That sounds like a good plan. Do your friends/boyfriend give you support? I know it is hard for people to relate to your bottom hurting if they haven't had this kind of thing before so it can be hard.
You will be able to live like a normal 20+ year old soon! I wonder if your parents can talk to the doctor and tell him how hard it is for you to function and see if he can prescribe something for the pain temporarily.
I was thinking about your sitting in class and sometimes when I am in a pinch I put one of my legs under me and kind of sit on that to keep my butt from touching the hard surface.
Congrats on being a senior! Are you finishing up in May or August? Are you going staight to grad school?
Take care,
Lecia

My friends don't really know about my anal fissure problem, but my boyfriend does and he's been very supportive.
It's odd because sometimes it seems as though sitting hurts less than standing/walking around or laying down. I don't get it.
Thank you. I am excited to graduate. I am finishing up in June and am probably going straight to grad school.

That's cool! That's what I did too. I am glad I went straight through because once you get a job and start making money it is hard to give that up and become a poor student again!:D
I am glad your boyfriend at least understands. That makes all the difference and he needs to know if you are hurting. He probably knows something isn't right anyway.
That is interesting that it hurts less when sitting. I can imagine with walking (at least for me) the friction would cause irritation of the fissure. And sometimes when I stand up from sitting the pain increases as gravity pulls down on that pelvic area.
Does your mom go with you to your appointments at all? Maybe having her there she can be more "forceful" with the doctor about giving you something for the pain. Have you tried bumping up the advil a bit?
Will you stay at the same school or are you doing your master's elsewhere?
lecia