Help Needed - Gay Btm here but need surgery?

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Help Needed - Gay Btm here but need surgery?

Postby cypriot38 » 18 Mar 2019, 06:14

Hey, thanks for looking. I need advise!!
Back in June 2018 I developed (what I thought) were haemorrhoids, it was so painful that I didn't eat for 10 weeks. If you dont eat you dont poop! Anyways, back then I went for a check and this was painful too and the doctor said it was haemorrhoids.

Since it healed, I have not been able to have anal sex without any pain and bleeding. It's as though it's healed tighter, I can barely get a small dildo inside.

Basically my sex life is currently ruined as I just cant have it. I went to see another surgeon here and after examination he found that I had an anal fissure (that explains the pain) and that it's healed. I explained my sexual preferences to him and he said that a lateral internal sphincterotomy is what I need so that I can again enjoy my sex life.

I have read online, however, that as a gay bottom, this is advised against and I cant find any positives to having it. Has anybody been in the same situation? Did it work for you? Or not?

Could I actually retrain my ass with butt plugs, start small get bigger etc.

From what I gather, because I have a healed anal fissure (scar tissure) it's contracting the internal sphincter (we cant control that) and that's why it's tight.

I'd have the surgery if it works but long term I dont want to be "slack alice" :)

Thanks for any advice given. Pete
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Re: Help Needed - Gay Btm here but need surgery?

Postby patience_and_healing » 19 Mar 2019, 23:16

I suggest you go see a pelvic physical therapist if possible. They will be able to tell you if dilation is a good option. You can also try self massage at home with a finger and see if it helps (go slow!).
8/16-12/16: Fissure due to antibiotics
5/17: Botox to sphincter, fissure healed
9/19: Trigger point injections and pudendal nerve block
11/19: Botox to pelvic floor
8/20: Botox to pelvic floor in new location.
On and off in pelvic physical therapy
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Re: Help Needed - Gay Btm here but need surgery?

Postby ttt2018 » 30 Mar 2019, 05:00

I'm very sorry, Pete - you got unlucky! I can't speak to LIS since I have not had that, but you might start preparing psychologically for a change in your sex life.

It's so hard to accept that something that is "just a cut" can do so much damage, but it was very traumatizing for me as a young gay man when I first got a fissure a few years ago. It totally wrecked my sexual and social confidence and changed my rapport with other guys. After the chronic fissure healed (2 years on), I was able to occasionally bottom, with varying success - I'd say half the time things got bloody, which very effectively trained me to avoid it. Certainly I never tried anything with hung guys. Basically, I learned to become a top.

My fissure recurred last year and I am now recovering from two recent surgeries. I have now accepted that my bottoming days are over. I'm done. Now that's the least of my worries!

But don't give up hope yet. Some people have minor fissures that don't recur and can bottom without a problem afterwards. I actually have a few friends who've told me they had fissures and now bottom all the time. Try patient self-dilation, take your fiber, prepare yourself for a long ride... Life is a b*tch, what can I say.
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Re: Help Needed - Gay Btm here but need surgery?

Postby mcintj1212 » 03 Jan 2020, 18:02

They had to cut my sphincter for my fistulotomy. It took a 6 months to heal and I waited another 6 months after that, but since then (i.e. the last two years), I have resumed bottoming regularly with guys of all sizes and had no issues. I think the issue a lot of guys run into is trying to jump back into it too early. I waited 6 months after everything was fully healed just to be sure/safe because I knew I didn't want to go through it again.
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