Whoa ok. So Kim, I think I *just now* figured out how to properly apply the nitro. Your earlier post was key. Remember how you suggested I wipe a bit after applying it to try to gauge how much actually got in? Well, I did just that, and noticed that a lot of it was on the tissue. I then realized two things:
(1) I don't think I was properly filling the syringe before. I thought I was getting a lot of nitro in the syringe, but I was actually drawing only a little ointment and a lot of air. In order to properly fill the syringe, I have to move the tip around while filling it so it's always pulling in ointment and doesn't accidentally pull in any air. Seems obvious but I'm not real used to using these things so this bit escaped me until now.
(2) I don't think my aim was very good before. I was trying to put the syringe into the anus while standing up, but that makes the "target" kind of hard to find. Lying down on my side makes it easier to locate where the syringe ought to go.
So what I did just now is fill the syringe without air pockets, laid on my side, made sure the tip of the syringe really is in the anus, and then gave it a gentle push. As soon as I squeezed it, I felt a sharp sting (made me jump instantly!) inside the anus and immediately got the throbbing nitro headache. Some of the ointment still ended up outside the anus, but the sensation this time was definitely different (much more of a sharp stinging feeling around the site of application) and the side effects came on much faster. I'm not sure if that's because more of the nitro found its mark (hopefully yes), or just because I had more rawness in there due to the bad BMs today, though. It's too bad my physician didn't give me better instructions so I could skip the last full week of trial and error, but good looking out on your earlier suggestion!

Well, the important thing is you get it figured out! Are you applying this stuff at work? :)
I never knew the side effects could be so immediate! Your syringe must be smaller than mine was. Is it opaque so you cannot see how much you have loaded? Mine was translucent enough that I knew how much I drew up.
As for "hitting the target," the tip of my syringe was very conical and grew wide fairly quickly, so I could always tell it was on the launching pad, so to speak!
Hopefully by tomorrow you will have a better day now that your getting in in properly!

Hehe yep I'm applying it at work. I work at a small company right now and our bathrooms are "one man shows" so I can do whatever I want in there with the door locked. I've told pretty much everyone at work about my condition (I got over the embarassment after about the first 3 people) so they aren't surprised to see me walking out of the bathroom with a syringe and a medicine jar anymore.
The syringe I'm using is translucent, so I can sort of see how much ointment is in it, but not perfectly. The pasty consistency of the nitro makes it hard to suck up a big amount, so I just try to fill the tip and do it a couple of times to make sure I use enough. In fact I think this is the exact syringe:
http://promotions.advanceweb.com/images/products/2007/CP/CP_medical_supply/05480_OralSyringe1tsp_CP/05480_OralSge1tsp_CP_med.jpg
The tip of the syringe is relatively small and narrow, so feeling alone isn't enough to tell me for sure whether the missile is actually locked onto the target...
By the way, I never asked you, did your fissure resolve with nifedipine? Or did you have LIS?
I'm seeing a gastroenterologist tomorrow regarding the bleeding and any kind of ulcerative colitis or Crohn's Disease tie-in, and plan on running the fissure problem by him as well. I doubt he'll know much about it since it's not strictly in his realm, but I figure it can't hurt. If he lets on that he knows anything about fissures, I may see if he's open to letting me try nifedipine if the nitro doesn't give any improvement soon.

OK, I can see why that syringe would be problematic insofar as knowing whether or not you were locked and loaded! If you were to stick that cone thingy next to it over the tip, it would be somewhat similar to mine. I had the advantage, in that mine was designed for arses!
I totally understand how easy it gets to tell people. I really never had much embarrassment about it, but most people who come here do!
I had LIS. Here's the link to my thread of over two years ago, if you want to read through it. My username was Hugh back then, OK, so I was somewhat embarrassed back then, if only because this is the internet and all...
http://anal-fissure.org/considering-surgery-or-already-had-it-f1/hugh-a-perfect-ass-t60.htm?sid=8032d6796edbda6319a9e64e2b56db42
I am willing to bet a small amount the gastroenterologist will have some AF knowledge tomorrow. here's hoping you don;t have Chron's or anything terribly serious, NG!

Kim, just read your thread on LIS -- it's encouraging for sure, thank you for the link. It sounds like LIS really is the closest thing there is to a "magic bullet", although there is still a bit of an ordeal that can be associated with it.
I'm teetering on the brink of scheduling LIS, I'm going to post a thread in the LIS forum. I'm not fond of catheters (never had one) or painful bowel movements, obviously, but psychologically I think I need to feel like I'm at least on a definitive path toward recovery rather than just spinning my wheels. Put more succintly, I'm trying to get myself back in good shape before my wife is due... With two babies on the way, I'm sure she doesn't need a third big one moping around the house!

Sidra's post is something to think about, she has done so very well!!! :)
Well, NG, no one is fond of catheters. My bladder just didn't want to wake up after surgery, and that shouldn't be the case with you. You may not even have general anesthesia, in which case that would be a moot point entirely.
If you schedule LIS, you will still have some time to see how well you do with the nitro, and could cancel. Unless it is really soon!
BTW, how did things go today?

Kim wrote:Sidra's post is something to think about, she has done so very well!!! :)
Well, NG, no one is fond of catheters. My bladder just didn't want to wake up after surgery, and that shouldn't be the case with you. You may not even have general anesthesia, in which case that would be a moot point entirely.
If you schedule LIS, you will still have some time to see how well you do with the nitro, and could cancel. Unless it is really soon!
BTW, how did things go today?

Today hasn't been great so far... The last time I took Miralax, I was eating salads all the time, and things got waaaaay soft. But lately I've been munching on high fiber cereal all through the day (to keep my energy up since I haven't been eating well), and apparently a 1/4 dose of Miralax isn't enough to really soften that up. So had another "challenging" BM and feels like there's still some unfinished business haha. So still a little bit of fun to be had today. Not quite as bad as yesterday but not great either.
Yeah Sidra's story and a few others I've read are really encouraging. It's like I want to reach out and grab some of that joy for myself. I've read a few horror stories about LIS too. Your experience seemed somewhere in the middle, I'm thinking of it as the most likely and realistic outcome. If I could get the same outcome I'd be pleased.
One of the things that really jumped out at me when I read Sidra's post is that I'd completely forgotten about so many of the things I enjoyed before the fissure. My wife and I love travelling, we've been all over the world from Europe to Asia to Australia and usually take a couple of overseas vacations a year. We love trying out local foods, new activities, and just exploring. And of course the upcoming babies are exciting. But all of those thoughts and ever enjoying them again have been completely gone from my life since the fissure started, and reading a post from someone else who enjoys the same things really kind of touched me in a melancholy way, you know?

I hope you get good answers too and that pic is so adorable!

macymae wrote:I hope you get good answers too and that pic is so adorable!

Thanks! Aren't you on like your third or fourth avatar today, someone having trouble making up her mind :)

Oh yeah, that's me showing Kim all my adorable pics!! :)
I got really down too, so miserable I cried every night that no one understands and drove everyone around me crazy. After surgery I gave myself a pep talk everything would get better, even if it took time. I also talked with another new mom who tore so bad during childbirth that it went inside her anus too. It took her a year to get better but she did. It gave me hope and on the down days I sure did think about her. Mine isn't healed, but is a whole lot better and on the way to healing and much better than before surgery.
Congrats on the babies...I have one two soon to be three year old who keeps me busy!