Hey All!
It's been 5 days since my surgery....all is going superb! I still have very mild tenderness where the stitches are but that's all! BM's are so easy now....I've basically had to strain my whole life but not anymore. It's wonderful! I hope my story provides some hope for someone else suffering with this....I know all to well how it feels to want to die from this. Besides my daughter, surgery is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Tabby, when I woke up from surgery I immediately clenched my muscles to see if I could...I don't recommend doing that! Although I couldn't stop doing it, just had to keep testing the muscles! LOL The ride home wasn't too bad...my husbands truck has nice heated leather seats so I guess I lucked out!
I'm still bathing after every BM but I don't do it because of pain, basically it's habit now and I want to keep the area really clean. My surgeon told me to keep doing sitz baths a few times a day....but I just soak in my big tub. I can't even begin to explain how nice it is to soak for pleasure and not pain!
To all those suffering right now...you are in my prayers. There will be an end. I felt as though I was going to suffer forever but it is not so. Be your own advocate for your health! Demand someone help you.
Thank you everyone for all your support. Please feel free to ask me anything...I will answer honestly.

Tamara
Your updates kick ass - I LOVE IT
Thanks for the tip sweetie - I will remember that

am still in the pain, suffering side with this, u post made me smile, and gives hope, which i really so much lack,
i thinkit wood be easier if i was put down.
am so glad your starting to feel better and getting your life back.

Tamara
Thanks for posting, you give us hope...I'm having LIS in 4 weeks.
Happy healing!!!!!
Continue to share your story, whatever happens...
Corsica
PS: Are you able to eat whatever you want?

Darren, I know how hopeless you feel....I was there just a short week ago. I begged my husband everyday to kill me. I truly understand what you are going through and my heart goes out to you....no one deserves this and it makes me so sad. I know it seems so dark right now but there will be light...hang on! Have any doctors discussed surgery with you yet? I suffered for 5 1/2 months before my CRS would finally do the surgery...it was the best thing that ever happened to me! Find someone who will discuss it with you, you may have to search but it will be well worth the fight! I pray for you my friend!
Corsica - It's only been 5 days out of surgery for me so I'm still eating only safe fissure foods and plan to for a very long time. I've added coffee back to my morning and savor every drop!!! God I missed coffee. The next milestone will be a martini....mmmmm, I drool just thinking about it! But I can wait, I'm not taking any chances. I'm still on Metamucil 2x daily and that's about it. So far so good....I feel so good that I'm just waiting for it to be ripped (no pun intended) away. I pray that doesn't happen.
Love and prayers to all!!

That is wonderful you are still on the road to recovery and are willing to share your story with others and to give those who are awaiting surgery hope. You rock!

newmom wrote: The next milestone will be a martini....mmmmm, I drool just thinking about it! But I can wait, I'm not taking any chances. I'm still on Metamucil 2x daily and that's about it. So far so good....I feel so good

I guess that is so important, being careful in the beginning and then slowly adding things...
How old is your baby? Were you in excruciating pain every day? For how long?
Fingers crossed
Corsica

Corsica - my daughter is 6 1/2 months old and is the light of my life....it was a difficult road to conceiving her and a hard pregnancy then the fissure after. But all I have to do is look at her and everything was worth it! With the fissure I did have excruciating pain every single day for months. I'm very regular and would have a bm around 10am everyday, then there would be a lull period of about 2 hours when I had no pain but I knew it was coming. Bm's also hurt terribly. When the pain started it was like someone was stabbing a hot knife in my bum with every heartbeat....I would scream and cry in pain and beg my husband to kill me. I could barely hold my daughter and how I still breastfed her through all this is beyond me. I don't know how I did that. The pain lasted between 3-6 hours daily. I lost a ton of weight and I was not big to start with. I'm quite tall (6ft) so now I just look skinny. The effect the fissure had on my life put me into therapy, it is the most awful thing I've ever been through....it will be a long time before I can put it all behind me.
All I can tell you all now is that surgery (for me) was my saving grace and I was willing to go totally incontinent, a life in a diaper was better than a life of pain. My CRS told me to be prepared for gas incontinence and I don't even have that.....he is my hero! I can't wait for my follow-up appt to tell him that! And for him to see what I'm really like....I'm a fairly intelligent and rational person but at every appt before surgery I basically had meltdowns in his office. I was a crying mess basically begging him to help me or kill me. I hope to never be in that same position again, I don't think I could handle it.
Today was such a great day....I went to the spa and had my hair cut and went shopping with my baby and mom. It's the way life should be....the joy of being a first time mommy has been given back to me.
To all that are still suffering, I beg you to please fight for your health. I'm all to aware now that no one else will. There is hope! I'm proof!
Love and prayer to all!!

Wow, that is an amazing turnaround! You really kicked some boo-teh! Make sure you don't over-do things for another week or two, OK? You're a real inspiration for all of us, healed and unhealed! Way to go!

Tamara
I am sorry to say that I can relate to everything you write except the thing about having a baby. My sons are teenager so I'm surrounded by a lot of teenage hormones :D I have to say that if it hadn't been for them and my husband I don't know where I would have been now.
I have refused to use painkillers and/or anxiety medicines to deal with this (both because I don't like using medicines and because celiac disease has left me with a sensitive digestion).
I started going to theraphy before Christmas, and it was in the nick of time...
It's hard not giving up or seing the light at the end of the tunnel, but we have to try.
Corsica