I don't mean to offend anyone, but I'm wondering if anyone else if having issues as a result of afs. :oops:
My husband is terribly understanding, but I know that my having afs is having an effect on him too, and I just hate it Its to the point where I don't want to even start anything because I know the pain will bring things to a screeching halt!
Well, thanks for listening...I figured if anyone could understand what I'm talking about it would be you guys.
ttyl,
Sara

What love life? Just teasing. I am having the same issues. My husband is very understanding as well, but that doesn't ease my guilt or my desire.
I think we have been together 3 times since my AF started in August. :(
But i have found that if you take things slow and easy, it actually is ok. After orgasm, everything relaxes and it made mine feel somewhat better. I haven't tried since my surgery 2 wks ago though. We'll see how that goes. But, i do wonder if the orgasm causes too much pressure for the AF and will cause a re-tear. Surely not, but you can never be too careful. I will ask my CRS at my next post op appointment in 3 weeks. Just try to take things slow and see how it goes. Best of luck to you. I know how frustrating it is.
See ya,
Christina
PS -- i am asking for a new anus for Christmas this year, preferably one that doesn't tear.

Thanks for posting this topic Sara - I too have had issues here - sometimes poor hubby has had to wait a couple of months between spasms Thank god he is understanding!
Like you Christina, If I can get through the first bit of pain the orgasm makes it relax - but most times I had trouble getting that far..
3 weeks since my surgery and I still havent been game to try it yet - we are hoping this weekend - but like you said, take it slow and see how we go
Ive been asking santa for a new ass for the last 6 years... maybe this year???? :rendeer:

At first I thought it might be prudent to avoid this discussion and let you ladies have at it. Then I thought, maybe for historical, archival reasons, it might be good to let any males out there know that AF does not equal celibacy. I found that as long as it's been several hours since I had any painful episodes, things work out OK. My wife never knows the difference,
but then, she ain't got AF!!
One thing, though, is that I do, sometimes, get a low-grade discomfort during the act, especially towards the good bit at the end :roll: !!! That is definately a distraction from the enjoyment.
Hugh :joker:

thanks for your post Hugh, its great to hear a mans perspective of the 'event'..

Hugh,
Thanks for your 2 cents.....I'll admit I was curious how it might be for a guy
Sara

Ok, so a little update on the 'lovin'...
:study: it had been so long I had to read up on it... :lol!:
We attempted it the other weekend, but I had spasms that were to sharp to continue, so sadly we gave up..
BUT(excuse the pun).... today.. I am pleased to anounce I had my first spasm free 'lovin' for god i can't remember how many years.. probably about 4 years??

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

Hi Cheryl,
Wow, that is great! I'm very happy for you.....and your husband So do you have a spring in your step today? :bounce:
ttyl,
Sara

YEAH for Cheryl. OK, since you survived maybe i will be bold and get a little frisky. The ol' hubby will be so happy he will probably break down and cry.
ttyl
Christina

abumbum wrote:So do you have a spring in your step today? :bounce:

:lol!: :lol!: Oh boy do I what!! Im so pleased I had the surgery now - there are so many things I can just do without worrying now - it feels as if life is 'normal' like it should be

buddy123b wrote:OK, since you survived maybe i will be bold and get a little frisky. The ol' hubby will be so happy he will probably break down and cry.

YOU GO GIRL!!! You are farther than me in your recovery - Im sure there will be no problem at all - you and hubby just relax and have fun :D :D