Love you all I’m not going to make it

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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby dmcff » 03 May 2020, 11:23

sean530 wrote:Obviously not a psychiatrist but maybe it helps to tak to someone. Anyone. Letting it out. I'm here for that. Least anyone can do at this point

Everyone's experience is different, so it's inadvisable to generalise, but sometimes what happens is that there's a need to put the pain - a pain that may have gone on for months or even years - in context, and to try to see it against the background of a person's life as a whole. The pain may be trying to say something about the direction of a life, and it wants to be listened to, given a chance to be put into words, and maybe there's a chance of healing, not just for the physical pain, but also for the emotional pain that often surrounds it. Therapy can help with the healing process, along with physical intervention.

Maybe I just slipped into a generalisation, the thing I was trying to avoid.
2014 Anal fissure
2015 CAT scan, EUA and sigmoidoscopy, 2 MRI scans - 4 hospital stays - severe to low pain
2016 Anal fissure - pain severe then moderate to low
2017 Return of moderate pain
2018 Physiotherapy, pain management
2019-20 Just living with it
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby SueMac » 04 May 2020, 05:43

yep agree - doesnt always have to be a professional although I think if you can find one Hurt it could be valuable
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby hurtinend » 06 May 2020, 12:04

But my pain is so intense recently I’m about to let go. Constant severe burn deep up inside and now through my entire lower abdomen

Too many years of pain that only gets worse
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby SueMac » 10 May 2020, 05:58

I see where dmcff is getting at and it resonates with s book I just finished by Jon Kuttner. He makes a lot of good points and among them is the case where pain can arise as a way of our body distracting us from an emotional crisis, or to show us when we have overdone it and not looked after ourselves enough but given too much to others. This may not apply Hurt and as dmcff said - it is easy to generalise. But healing our emotional selves can heal our physical bodies. Being in intense pain makes it difficult to think straight though and being in pain for years is draining. I wish I could do more to help you and I pray you find the right kind of help.
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby dmcff » 10 May 2020, 06:26

I simply found that I couldn't cope with the pain and discomfort alone, and had to have someone to talk to about it. So I searched around and found a psychotherapist/counsellor who was willing to help me for a reasonable fee, and I have been seeing her every week now for something like 6 years. I don't really know exactly what I've uncovered in my sessions with her, but there's a book by Stephen Levine called A Year To Live that pretty much outlines what we've been doing. Levine has a process called Life Review, which involves going back over the whole of one's life - not necessarily in chronological order, but just as the memories come, spontaneously.

At first the pain was so bad that I couldn't even get to the sessions in person and we had to do them either by phone or by FaceTime. But in approximately the second year the pain began to be more manageable, and from then on, with some interruptions, it was a matter of trying to navigate CRS/hospital visits and psychotherapy sessions - and it worked, at least to the extent of making it possible for me to live something like a normal life again. The sessions, with their encountering of past experiences, some of which, negative as well as positive, lay buried at a deep level, helped me. The nightmare was over, and I was able to put the pain in context, a context where it wasn't so overwhelming and where I had some distance from it. I was also helped by pregabalin and Movicol/Miralax.

This is a very scrappy account of what I've lived through these last few years, but maybe someone can find a moment of recognition there. I really recommend the book by Levine, I've learned quite a lot from it -
https://www.amazon.com/Year-Live-This-W ... 834&sr=8-2
2014 Anal fissure
2015 CAT scan, EUA and sigmoidoscopy, 2 MRI scans - 4 hospital stays - severe to low pain
2016 Anal fissure - pain severe then moderate to low
2017 Return of moderate pain
2018 Physiotherapy, pain management
2019-20 Just living with it
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby SueMac » 10 May 2020, 09:28

An interesting story dmcff. I will look up the book. I’m so glad the therapy has helped you and you stuck with it even when your pain kept you housebound. You’ve clearly found an understanding therapist that has made it possible for you to live with the pain. I’m hoping in time it diminishes further for you.
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Re: Love you all I’m not going to make it

Postby AKDad37 » 19 Jun 2020, 11:47

Sorry to bump a dead post but I hope the original poster is doing OK.

I feel like I'm right there with him. LIS didn't work for me (yet) after almost 7 weeks I'm back to square one. Diagnosed with Levator Ani after the procedure
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