Well, today I REALLY feel like giving up. I think I tore another fissure. I seem to be prone to them on the right side and the very wide and urgent BM I had this morning made something 'give' and I think it was mostly there. I just don't get it. I have been having some bowel issues but the BM is still soft it just wants to come out really wide and the sphincter forms a bottleneck. I kind of have to actually pull it out! This with my surgical area is an absolute nightmare. Haven't even got out of bed yet as it is stinging and burning so bad. I just don't know what I am going to do. Is this the result of my most recent botox into the pelvic floor? I was afraid this might happen. What now, botox into the internal sphincter, again! This feels like a game of 'whack-a-mole.' Sorry for rant but I am feeling just so hopeless now and can't see any resolution to this nightmare.

So sorry to hear that you're having such a bad day. I hope that you can get through this too, and that tomorrow is better for you.

I'm so sorry you're having more trouble msimon. Hang in there - hopefully things won't be so bad tomorrow. You always seem so strong considering all you've been through and I'm positive that you'll get through this latest problem. I'm sorry I don't have any practical help for you.

Plus, I need you to get through this for my own selfish reasons as you always seem to offer help and kindness when I need it - so do it for me please!

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time msimon. I'm hoping things will settle down for you quickly.
You never need to oppologise for having a rant.... It's what we are all here for... And you are so supportive to others, it's ok to have a wobble.
Hang on in there sweet girl

OMB xxxxxxxx

Oh no! I'm sorry msimon. You are having the roughest time - I am so sorry. I really really hope things get better for you soon!

How are you msimon? Any improvement? I really hope you're doing better.

Thanks for asking Worrier. And for you kind words, everyone.

I am not doing any better. I just seem to be at a plateau. Had another really wide BM yesterday and a burning one so far today. I just don't get how my internal sphincter can still be so much trouble after LIS. I guess because it was so conservative. Seems sometimes you get to choose between incontinence or pain. And sometimes you get both

This laid open wound is taking so long to heal (I guess that is to be expected) and my muscles just keep spasming as a result. Not sure what to do anymore. I have another checkup with my CRS next Thursday. I already asked him about botox into the internal sphincter again and he was game for it. I just really don't want to start with that again. When I was almost healed before this last surgery things were still managemable. Arg! But I guess it had to be. No signs of infection anymore (knock on wood).

Hi msimon. I think you should take heart from the fact that the infection has cleared up - that's a big step and good news. Also, it's good that you have a crs who is trying to help out and see this through to a positive resolution. Please be hopeful - with time and medical help there is nothing that can't be fixed by the sounds of things. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

(if you want a laugh at my shocking hypocrisy check my thread in a few minutes)

Worrier12345 wrote:
(if you want a laugh at my shocking hypocrisy check my thread in a few minutes)

Ooh, hang on gals, I'm gonna grab the popcorn <LOL> for this.

I adore some of the prose that goes on around here. Now for sure, most of the time we just type up the facts, but there's some great dry, or just plain laugh out loud, humour sometimes. It helps. But trust me, I am certainly not the type saying we have got to be jolly.

You're so funny Turk's Mom.